difficult people will be here soon

why don't you shush yourself.

are you watching the world cup?

the USWNT play germany in the semi-finals tonight (7pm EST on fox).

read THIS to get caught up:

The game should be a great one. Consider that Germany has scored the most goals this tournament (20), and the U.S. has allowed just a single goal. The U.S. and Germany have each won the World Cup twice.

The United States reached the semifinals primarily on the strength of its defense: The team hasn't given up a goal since the tournament opener five games ago against Australia. The U.S., led by goalkeeper Hope Solo, have held opponents scoreless for 423 consecutive minutes (the longest stretch for the U.S. in World Cup history). The U.S. also is the only country to reach the semifinals in all seven World Cup tournaments.

and if you really want to get into strategy...read THIS.

season 2 of bojack horseman will be here soon.

tig notaro's doc will be here soon

i think my invite must have gotten lost in the mail.

kylie would you buy these?

i think you would buy these.

is this llama laughing at you?

that laugh 😂😂 https://t.co/HRGdqI1wXd

— Baby Animals (@BabyAnimalPics) June 29, 2015

probably.

Marc Gasol of Memphis

do yourself a favor and watch THIS video, directed by Craig Brewer

ICYMI: #MarcGasolOfMemphis. A film by @MyBrewTube. #MemphisToTheBone #MemphisMade https://t.co/DbmZ1wiX3X

— Memphis Grizzlies (@memgrizz) June 29, 2015

BRACE YOURSELF

this is the cutest bear video i've ever seen, and it wastes NO time getting right to the cuteness.

thx starla!

this week in a nurtshurll

If you ever argued in favor of marriage equality, tried to fight the homophobic bans keeping LGBT families from REALLY becoming families, donated to LGBT causes, participated in a rally for gay marriage, attended a Gay Pride march - today, victory is yours. Thanks for winning this - for me, and you. For all of us. -MC

A video posted by Margaret Cho (@margaret_cho) on Jun 26, 2015 at 10:38am PDT

big week for the supremes!

I’m in love with The Supreme Court pic.twitter.com/X0cYzrTDpK

— RuPaul (@RuPaul) June 26, 2015

how did we get here

pic.twitter.com/IR0bCjN98p

— Zak (@ZakKrevitt) June 26, 2015

how we got here.

ctm gurl.

thx starla!

UPDATE

Joe is running through the halls with a rainbow flagged tied on like a cape high fiving everyone. #MarriageEquaility #LoveWins #SCOTUS

— Jill Biden (@JillBidenVeep) June 26, 2015

happy gay marriage day

Did they say anything about 3 ways?

— billy eichner (@billyeichner) June 26, 2015

FYI

Proud. pic.twitter.com/9J44PCYeuQ

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 26, 2015

"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed." - Justice Kennedy

FYI

You probably cannot jump across the subway tracks. See: this guy. http://t.co/uBIq6NGFgd pic.twitter.com/O4MosdilF9

— Gawker (@Gawker) June 25, 2015

tweet beat.

Song of the Summer, @CountessLuann!!!!! 💖💖💖💖😎😎😎😎

— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) June 24, 2015

There might need to be an adult toy store called Hole Foods.

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) June 20, 2015

A backpack but it has wings attached to it so u can fly RT @MarthaStewart What products would you like to see at your local Petsmart store?

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) June 24, 2015

another smart spaghetti post

A #TBT in honor of #CephalopodWeek! This octopus engraving was created in the 1550's: http://t.co/o7PEHfFku7 pic.twitter.com/18o7IjAxog

— AMNH (@AMNH) June 25, 2015

rose mcgowan : who knew?

casting note that came w/script I got today. For real. name of male star rhymes with Madam Panhandler hahahaha I die pic.twitter.com/lCWGTV537t

— rose mcgowan (@rosemcgowan) June 18, 2015

i bet you forgot she existed. remember when she dated marilyn manson?

well, yesterday i read this pretty interesting interview with her, and today it turns out she's been fired by her agent for exposing some adam sandler sexism in this tweet, though i suspect it also had to do with the content of the interview, which was fairly critical of the hollywood system in general.

really?!?!?

yas.

kitty vs. bear

(via)

listen to beyonce.

this is my hair

is your state flag guilty?

probably:

The Tennessee Legislature adopted the current flag in 1905. In a 2013 article, vexillologist Steven A Knowlton argues that "the Tennessee flag has pragmatic unity with the Confederate flag: both share the element of white stars inside a fimbriated blue charge, and the element of that blue charge on a red field." He also notes a resemblance between the flag's vertical bars and the vertical bar of the third national flag of the Confederacy.

But he concludes that one interesting aspect of the Tennessee flag is plausible deniability: "it is reasonable to say a logo is only expressing Tennessee pride, even if deeper symbolic recognition does link it to Confederate imagery." 

see a bunch here. mississippi, you know you're wrong.

happy #cephalopodweek !!

This week, the Museum is teaming with Science Friday for #CephalopodWeek! We're celebrating a few fascinating creatures, including one highlighted in the new Life at the Limits exhibition: the mimic octopus. Discovered in 1998, the mimic octopus (Thaumoctopus mimicus) is a 2-foot long species that can parrot not just one but several toxic sea creatures. It’s the first animal of any kind known to shift between multiple imitations, a talent called dynamic mimicry. Depending on which predator is around, this cephalopod adjusts its posture by folding, splaying, or hiding its arms to copy the shape, texture, and motions of the banded sole, lionfish, or banded sea snake—three toxic animals that all share its light and dark coloring and striped patterns. Click the link in our profile to learn more! © AMNH/5W infographics-P.Velasco

A photo posted by AMNH (@amnh) on Jun 24, 2015 at 8:18am PDT

what you missed on WWHL last night

i see you, dorito.

CATFISH

This about as good a team goal as you will see, and should be a rival of the goal of the tournament. It’s so good in fact it almost looks faked, an uncanny valley of brilliant football from by the reigning world champions, Japan. Though Mizhuo Sakaguchi’s wonderful curled shot would be worthy of any highlight reel on its own, the build up—a back-heel, a perfectly timed feint, and then the one touch finish—transforms this into something else. (via)

you have my attención

because you deserve this

Gratuitous post about Nick Jonas' arms in the "Good Thing" video: http://t.co/xwW0cSqAb5 pic.twitter.com/BwEgclkIuW

— Matt Stopera (@mattstopera) June 23, 2015

terri garr, myanmar, foreign car

Peeno Noir, you’re a star. #KimmySchmidt #NetflixFYC pic.twitter.com/Y64jAP0TuO

— Netflix US (@netflix) June 18, 2015

get yourself ready baby 1,2,3, let's go!

late submission

starla's mother, delta burke, would like to submit for your consideration...

...delta burke, for our lady money.

meat in a tube

let's go to all these places!!!!! 

 

she's back

people are idiots

look at these dummies flooding bryant park for an outdoor screening of ghostbusters.



that shit's probably on netflix, ya dummies.

old people at bonnaroo

Old People At Bonnaroo from Funny Or Die

'sgo vols!

barack obama on marc maron

this morning, the latest episode of marc maron's podcast was released, wherein he candidly interviews president barack obama. it's remarkable.

and in a true snake-eating-its-tail moment, this afternoon marc was featured on fresh air to talk to terry gross about the experience, just a couple of weeks after marc interviewed terry for radiolovefest.

hahahahahaha this cat

lol

an informal 2pz poll

I asked a few lady 2pz contributors what lady they thought should replace old Alexandra Hamilton on the 10 dollhair bill.

Here are the responses (Editor's note, I didn't tell them I was going to tell you (blog sneak attack)):

Melissa: Harriet Tubman

Faith: Iris Apfel, RuPaul, Meryl Streep

Kylie: Whitney Houston, Terri Gross, Bea Arthur


From your mouth to the Federal Reserve's ears ladies! Who do you think it should be? Tell us in the comments.

anna chlumsky on veep

congratulations to riley curry on her 2015 NBA championship!

(via)

nyc anniversary for this big green lady

Lady Liberty arrived in New York 130 years ago today. http://t.co/FPaZO0Ggnb pic.twitter.com/nCrbWiEXDT

— NYT Archives (@NYTArchives) June 17, 2015

leon bridges first listen

baby smart spaghetti!

adorabilis, indeed!

pey pey never forgets

#Broncos QB #PeytonManning leads the @CO_Symphony in "Rocky Top" -- the @Vol_Football fight song! #TasteofBroncos pic.twitter.com/Q16O6npK9H

— Denver Broncos (@Broncos) June 17, 2015

from now on, i'm not watching game of thrones and only watching GAY of thrones.

Gay Of Thrones S5 EP 10 Recap: Mother's MRSA from Funny Or Die

CATFISH

i'm going to start putting my age after my signature.

If you have to miss school, make sure you have a note.

Posted by Hillary Clinton on Tuesday, June 16, 2015

just keep waiting.

it will be done one day.

saul bass is boss

#NOWNESSPicks: Saluting Alfred Hitchcock’s go-to graphic designer #SaulBass #cinema http://t.co/2310icZnSP pic.twitter.com/BZSTwzBRWZ

— NOWNESS (@NOWNESS) June 16, 2015

who is flirting with who

Prince Harry and Michelle Obama met for tea this morning http://t.co/DRr73rHOw1 pic.twitter.com/9noUVTaATS

— VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) June 16, 2015

dont sleep on jellyfish

This jellyfish quickly reorganizes its remaining limbs when it loses a tentacle http://t.co/KNZRVM1M0V pic.twitter.com/Fs4Z4IwBHC

— The New York Times (@nytimes) June 15, 2015

i don't really know what this is...

...but bryan safi made it and is in it, so.

fake orca tumped, didn't scare any sea lions

did you hear the one about the fake plastic orca they built in oregon to scare away some sea lions that have taken roost in one of their marinas? it tumped and this old guy crawled out.

i didn't know you could....do that.

(via)

YBD

“Let’s cruise, baby!” - Florida man snaps picture of raccoon riding a gator: http://t.co/Y9WWzL2xvD via @WFTV pic.twitter.com/AR1E7ZTwZN

— WPTV (@WPTV) June 14, 2015

i think this is a metaphor for this season's tennessee - florida game.

leon bridges - smooth sailin'

have we talked about this movie yet?

this family never left their apartment in the east village and they LOVE movies. nytimes.


 UPDATE

On the town with the boys of the Wolfpack http://t.co/eX5VHK9BKk pic.twitter.com/rbV9OFBy7R

— VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) June 11, 2015

showtime ladies and gentlemen showtime

the subway showtimers documentary you have been waiting all your life for is here check it out

this uptight table.

no one learned anything.

get it Hillary

Pedal to the metal. #tbt pic.twitter.com/OEBj1DhOuH

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 11, 2015

Upgrade U

Nick Jonas to Headline Pittsburgh Pride After Iggy Azalea Drops Out Over Past Anti-gay Tweets http://t.co/XJIT0BjWtN pic.twitter.com/PDJlF9laep

— Towleroad (@tlrd) June 11, 2015

mulder and scully xfiles reboot first look

EXCLUSIVE: Your first look at Mulder and Scully! #TheXFiles pic.twitter.com/UexSfktTbA

— The X-Files (@thexfilesfox) June 10, 2015

blair waldorf is good at the cardigans karaoke - love fool

i guess annie potts was busy

Chris Hemsworth will play the Receptionist in the #Ghostbusters reboot: http://t.co/EvIPKRpb9j pic.twitter.com/dW84KK9a6k

— Vulture (@vulture) June 11, 2015

BIG gets a shot

FYI

@2PzNaPpod that's a great suggestion! Passing it along to our art team. Thanks :)

— Bitmoji (@BitmojiApp) June 10, 2015

in the words of drake.

tweet beat

Every minute I spend at work is like walkin on sunshine. My feet burning up and dissolving. The glowing hot plasma cooking my blood. :) TGIF

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) June 10, 2015

I gave you a long back rub. Yours better not be bullshit. pic.twitter.com/hPuK7UjsXe

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) June 9, 2015

My hobbies include chewy textures and canceling plans.

— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) June 6, 2015

are you a TERF?

if you care to find out, you should read, in this order...

What Makes a Woman?

and

What Makes a Really Stupid Opinion About Caitlyn Jenner

and

What Makes a Woman Is Less Important Than What Makes a Feminist.

one thing is for sure, and that is that siri is a total TERF.

robots are SO stoopid

be careful with those pigs

there was a pig truck accident on a highway in ohio and hundreds of pigs escaped into the woods, and hundreds more got injured or squished. be more careful!

new show alert

make sure you're watching unREAL, everyone. the tv just told me last night that they put the first 4 eps up online and on ondemand so you can go ahead and hook yourself. and if my recommendation is not enough for you:

Big congrats to @GertShap @ConstanceZimmer @MrCraigBierko and the gang for creating a delicious new show! I'm totally hooked and love it.

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) June 6, 2015

WATCH IT.

ok, sure.

omf.

this tiny tiny deer was born at the queens zoo.

who knew queens even had a zoo?

Chris Christie playing softball

deadspin sums the rest of it up.

would you like an hour of julie klausner, billy eichner, and amy poehler talkin'?

me too.

#petpetpet

funny shit

what?

Why Dogs Can't Recognize You on FaceTime http://t.co/Tg4MEcGJPL pic.twitter.com/b8wIY65KiY

— Cool Hunting (@coolhunting) June 3, 2015

smart spaghetti strikes again!

octopuses for president.

CHERRY PICKIN' POLL

i'm going to try to frame this as objectively as possible:

a person enters a grocery store, heads to the produce section, and decides (s)he would like some cherries and/or grapes. the cherries/grapes are set out on a table, grouped into unsealed plastic bags (you know the kind, open w/ top handles and drainage holes all over). so (s)he takes a produce bag off the roll nearby, and takes the preferred amount grapes/cherries from several batches, based on his/her preferred quality, and proceeds to the register to pay by weight.

in your opinion....IZ THAT OKAY?!

tell us in the comments.

goat babies in payamas

random and not relevant

but why didn't anybody tell me that dante and chiara were mermaid parade king and queen last year??!??!?!

stream the new active child album

before it comes out on the 16th.

this thing exists

and it's real

new SVE EP

Stream: @sharonvanetten explains 'I Don't Want To Let You Down' EP track by track. http://t.co/XpaVJJIVt3 pic.twitter.com/1h5WufqM1j

— nprmusic (@nprmusic) June 1, 2015

plz welcome....caitlyn jenner!

(via)

girls are better at rapping than boys

this is great.