fortnightly boat

oh good, it will have dinosaurs.

happy bearly retirement to ME!

if you don't know, i got married and now my husband is moving* me to ken-sucky. today is my third to last day of work and i plan on having as much fun as this bear during my temporary retirement.

*i use the term moving loosely, since i'm actually the one packing up our entire house. yip.
video shared on facebook and found on youtubes here

march madness fun factz : SEC dominance edition

In many ways, Tennessee's emergence has run parallel to the Wildcats'. Like Kentucky, the Volunteers were always obviously talented. Like Kentucky, Tennessee's advanced analytics revealed a team far better than its record suggested. Like Kentucky, which beat Louisville on its own floor in December, the Vols' 35-point win over Virginia gave fans a result to point to and say, see? Like Kentucky, UT spent most of the SEC season underwhelming -- being swept by Texas A&M, losing to Vanderbilt, getting overrun on defense at Missouri -- before flipping some kind of switch in the final weeks.

The result for the SEC, combined with Florida's wins, is a 7-0 SEC record in the NCAA tournament. It's the first conference to go 7-0 or better in the NCAA tournament entering the Sweet 16 since the Big East went 8-0 in 2003, according to ESPN Stats & Information. The last time the SEC went 7-0 or better in the NCAA tournament entering the Sweet 16 was 1996, when Kentucky won the national title.

That was the dominant discussion late in the day Sunday -- how the lowly SEC had redeemed itself in the NCAA tournament. Some even went so far as to claim the SEC had been unfairly maligned, that the tournament revealed a league far stronger than anyone previously realized. (via)

turns out, we can haz basketball too.

Want a candle that smells like Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Of course you do. But you can't, because they're already sold out. The online store Kentucky for Kentucky sells a line of candles called "Scents of the Commonwealth," and among such scents are Fried Chicken, Ale8 (?!) and Kentucky Derby. The initial 25 candles put on the site sold out in less than a minute. Then again, this Northerner is pretty sure there's some kind of rivalry between Kentucky and Tennessee, so maybe it's best to leave these candles off Joel's Xmas present list.

Oh and HIIIII! This is flim, Joel's ex-coworker and Joel's current Asian Best Friend.

this town is cute!

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via

ashley judd for president!

or at least senator of kentucky:

The Hollywood movie star and eighth-generation Kentuckian is seriously exploring a 2014 run for the Senate to take on the powerful Republican leader, four people familiar with the matter tell POLITICO. In recent weeks, Judd has spoken with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) about the possibility of a run, has discussed a potential bid with a Democratic pollster and has begun to conduct opposition research on herself to see where she’s most vulnerable in the Bluegrass State, sources say. (via)

obviously, i picked kentucky to win...

...but how can you help rooting for this guy? #heeatsbasketballs

my second favorite mascot.

smokey's not in the capital one mascot challenge this year, but luckily my favorite non-tennessee mascot is. western kentucky's big red. he eats basketballs.

for bun-bun (and justin hunter)

y'all know rachel, right? well, she's trying to disguise drinking as charity, and would like your help. she writes:

In a couple of weeks I am going to Kentucky to run a 200 mile relay and drink bourbon, possibly in tandem. My team, which consists of 11 people you don’t know + me, is participating on behalf of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. The only way I know to cure kancer is by running and drinking. Because we all itemize, I know you’re looking to tack on some more charitable contributions this year. You probably also want to win points with Bun Bun. So, here is where you can make a generous donation. It’s nothing fancy like a Booze Cruise, but it’s the best I can do.

go on. make a donation, if you believe her. which i dont.

jk, i do. brb donating!!

oh and ps, justin hunter doesn't have kancer or anything. she just loves him a whole lot.

jazzy?

5-month-old Qannik the polar bear is scheduled to fly UPS Boeing 747-400 on Monday to the Louisville Zoo express from Alaska, where caretakers have monitored her since rescuing her as an orphan. (via)

thx melissa!

i went to lexington (kentucky) this weekend

i went to lexington this weekend for the pony races at keeneland and then on to watch the outside of the stadium at the university of kentucky while they upset south carolina (who upset alabama last week).
it was a great weekend and i wanted to share some of the flavor with the internet here.

after overserving myself friday night, i was treated to a magical cinnamon breakfast feast complete with mimosas saturday morning.


we are both named joel, but only one of us is divorced. you guess which is which. (bloody mary marks drink number 3 for the day. time is about noon)


the view of the pony show at keeneland. i bet 20 bucks and walked away with 26 bucks. "daddy please" to show in race 2 please. please.



who is that pretty pony with the pretty pink dress on. can i touch it?


toot toot tooooooot. ima blow my whistle before the ponies get in their cages so you know to pay attention to what happense next. after this is over ill be going back to the lollipop guild.


anyway, after we left the pony show we hightailed it over to the university of kentucky to tailgate and continue our drunk. we parked in a secret person's driveway and walked through the secret garden to get to the stadium. i was told that bourbon would be the weapon of the evening.


we made it! the university of kentucky high school. just kidding, it was perfectly nice. me and the hamster (pictured) mixed and spinned all around it.


after the game we ended up dancing the night away at this random hole in the strip mall bar where this guy played some songs. he was announced as a nashville recording artist (natch) and i dont remember anything about him (natch).

the end?

and speaking of UT...

congrats to the basketvols for taking those kentucky mildkatz down a notch.

Big Game Bruce Pearl has won a lot of games in five seasons as the coach at Tennessee -- but more specifically, he has taken down a lot of high-flying teams as the coach at Tennessee. Playing his Volunteers is hazardous to your ranking. (via)

i don't know if this is really the right attitude...

...but god, those southern accents are spot. on!

"they can unLOWood on the whole towyun, as long as they git uyuss. we caint doo innything like 'at. which i mean, i wouldn't do innything like 'at innyway but steeyull."

you're welx!

oh really?

memphis area KFC locations refuse to serve anything except for fried chicken. ugh, thats racist.

so over it

if you live anywhere outside the city limits of memphis or lexington, you probably have no idea what im talking about. it seems the university of kentucky has made a job offer to coach john calipari of the university of memphis. they offered something ridiculous like 37,000,000 doll hairs for a 6 year contract. it seems he has just ACCEPTED!!

you would think that the jews had made an offer to the pope to switch sides considering the media shitstorm this has caused. right now on the tv screen i am seeing live helicopter footage looking into the window of this guys house. its a pretty big house by the way. even fred smith ceo of fedex has weighed in a apparently offered the guy fedex stock options so he would stay. last night there was a candlelight vigil of supporters begging for him to stay. it is making the university of memphis look desperate and pitiful. if the shoe fits memphis.

i am over it.

NEXT

UPDATE: COACH CAL'S CAR LEAVES HOUSE