flying hot dogs

Sprinting dachshunds dressed as hot dogs pic.twitter.com/SRkFjiHODy

— Animal Gifs 🐾 (@BabyAnimalGifs) September 28, 2016

making an entrance, by RuPaul

RuPaul's Drag Race

say what now?

Meet the robot jockeys who race camels in Dubai: http://t.co/M13RQrKNrz pic.twitter.com/ZXiNzbaglU

— Vogue Magazine (@voguemagazine) April 15, 2015

did you see the steeplechase catfight?

i asked melissa if she had fun at steeplechase and she told me she didnt remember. check out clay travis' cat fight coverage.

did you see the drag race season finale?

no spoilers. i really like ru's new song.

i went to lexington (kentucky) this weekend

i went to lexington this weekend for the pony races at keeneland and then on to watch the outside of the stadium at the university of kentucky while they upset south carolina (who upset alabama last week).
it was a great weekend and i wanted to share some of the flavor with the internet here.

after overserving myself friday night, i was treated to a magical cinnamon breakfast feast complete with mimosas saturday morning.


we are both named joel, but only one of us is divorced. you guess which is which. (bloody mary marks drink number 3 for the day. time is about noon)


the view of the pony show at keeneland. i bet 20 bucks and walked away with 26 bucks. "daddy please" to show in race 2 please. please.



who is that pretty pony with the pretty pink dress on. can i touch it?


toot toot tooooooot. ima blow my whistle before the ponies get in their cages so you know to pay attention to what happense next. after this is over ill be going back to the lollipop guild.


anyway, after we left the pony show we hightailed it over to the university of kentucky to tailgate and continue our drunk. we parked in a secret person's driveway and walked through the secret garden to get to the stadium. i was told that bourbon would be the weapon of the evening.


we made it! the university of kentucky high school. just kidding, it was perfectly nice. me and the hamster (pictured) mixed and spinned all around it.


after the game we ended up dancing the night away at this random hole in the strip mall bar where this guy played some songs. he was announced as a nashville recording artist (natch) and i dont remember anything about him (natch).

the end?

when life gives you watermelons

you end up smacked in the face

ok i picked one!

i was perusing the post positions for the kentucky derby, which jicydak is this weekend. g.animalz is going! i knoooooooow. anyway, i've picked my pony.

his name is conveyance.  and if you have any confusion about why i might've chosen this horse, refer to below clip:



here's a list of ponies. leave your pick in the comments!

based on the impossible true story

ru paul is so wise

drag race announced their queen and (certain circles of) the internet is atwitter. if you have any good sense you have been following the show, and you will love this behind the scenes report from the the reunion show. included is the following insight from rupaul himself:

He elaborated on a point from our interview regarding his tendency to get the side-eye from celebrities while he’s dressed as a woman: “What it means for them to accept me fully would be rebuilding their identity. To accept my existence as something real and viable would mean the foundation they’ve built their house on is a hoax. It’s faulty. More than the gay thing, it’s a drag thing. People don’t accept drag queens because drag queens are saying, ‘Your identity is a hoax because it can be manufactured. It’s not really real.’ And the ego knows it, and the ego fights it. I can’t tell you how many famous people I’ve admired who are smart, evolved, but when they get around me or drag, you can see them backing up. It’s the ego saying, ‘Don’t go over there. Don’t trust that.’ Other people’s ego won’t allow my charm or my intelligence to override the fact that I am an identity buster. And by accepting me, I would be busting their identity.”

taking the easy road

via

i challenge kylie to a race

im going to schweeb your face off

death race, opinion

nytimes has this article about the "death race" in vermont. its this creation of riddles and memory quizzes and physical endurance meant to test the limits of the participants.

"The course spanned 10 miles of mountain trails, ravines, lakes, underbrush and a burnt-out thicket known as the Labyrinth. The physical challenges included digging holes, chopping wood and hauling encumbrances like bicycles, tree stumps and buckets of gravel. The riddles included naming American presidents, assembling Lego structures from memory and cooking without modern tools. Each of the 14 tasks was expected to take two hours. A 24-hour time limit was set. Mathematically speaking, the designers considered their course all but impossible."

i hate everyone who enters this race. and i guess that patrick halley loves all of them. watch the video.

guess what's happening tomorrow...

the kentucky derby! this is the first leg of the triple crown, so it's important that you all become informed and start throwing your support behind horses. we've had a lot of excitement in recent years. you all might remember last year, when big brown bear completely blew it at the belmont.

i dont know if any of you watched animal planet's jockeys a couple of months ago, but three of the jockeys featured are riding in the derby: joe talamo (the rising star), mike smith (time-tested veteran), and garrett gomez (the villain).

as for the horses, favorites include:
captain candyman (10-1)
freisan fire (10-1)
midshipman (12-1)
pioneer of the nile (12-1) (ridden by garrett gomez, booooo)
stardom bound (12-1)
this ones for phil (12-1)
vineyard haven (12-1)

joe talamo is on the 'morning line favorite', i want revenge with 3-1 odds.

my predictions:
i'm a big fan of joe talamo, as he is barely literate, like 12 years old, a loose cannon, and from the south. so i will be supporting him and his horse and hope they do well. however, i would never pick the actual favorite to win, because that's boring.

after reviewing the contenders, i have a great feeling about fresian fire. he's coming off a huge win at the 2009 lousiana derby. his trainer has taken second place in the past 2 kentucky derbies. so that's my pick! share yours in the comments!

post time is scheduled for 6.04pm EST / 5.04pm CST, nbc is providing tv coverage. hope everyone gets to enjoy!