did you watch the festivus episode last week?

well now i'm excited.

The University of Tennessee’s Pride of the Southland Band will bring an East Tennessee treasure to life on Neyland Stadium’s field on Saturday.

At halftime during the UT vs. Georgia game (3:30 p.m. CBS), the band will dedicate its show to Dolly Parton and perform some of her most famous songs including “Jolene,” “Coat of Many Colors,” “I Will Always Love You” and “9 to 5.”

“I looked back through all the years ... the band has never done a tribute totally dedicated to Dolly Parton,” said Dr. Donald Ryder, UT’s Director of Bands.

“Since she’s such an East Tennessee treasure and this is her home and everybody loves her, I said ‘Why not?’ so I sat down and started thinking about show ideas, and basically it evolved into what I think’s going to be a very neat show.” (via)

i know the article says she's busy and won't perform, but i'm going to get every last one of my hopes up anyway.

drew the bully for president!

how many eps of wet hot have you watched?

he really is

nymag states the obvious, "John Waters is a National Treasure

"

RIP joan rivers

you are already missed.

She lived in a triplex penthouse just off Fifth Avenue overlooking Central Park that featured a ballroom with gilded columns and 23-foot-high ceilings. It was on the market for $29.5 million in 2011, when she told The New York Times: “Qaddafi wanted to rent it for that whole U.N. thing. People said it’s blood money. I said, ‘Oh, I can easily wash blood off dollar bills.’ But they didn’t like it. It was too close to a synagogue.” (via)

2Pz national treasures

this installment's a 2-fer.

we've been #blessed with a lot of great ladies being featured in some of our favorite publications recently, and there are a couple more that i'd like to recommend to you personally.

up first, don't not read this paper magazine feature on national treasure, amy poehler. favorite part:

While that news may break the hearts of Parks' viewers, they can take solace knowing that the show's firing on all cylinders while heading for the finish line. "We have an arc this season where Leslie has to get over her ego about helping Eagleton, the town next to Pawnee, who are all a bunch of rich snobs -- which I can relate to," she says. "It's a very Massachusetts thing. Lexington, Massachusetts, was the Eagleton to my hometown right next door, which was Burlington. Lexington had the Shot Heard 'Round the World, and more doctors and slightly fancier houses. Rachel Dratch is from Lexington. Our [high school football] teams play each other on Thanksgiving, and we still trash talk each other. I'll say, 'Lexington's a bunch of fuckin' snobs.' And she'll say, 'How dare you, you Burlington trash. Get out of my town.'"

As soon as New England enters the conversation, I congratulate Poehler on the Red Sox victory in the World Series the night before.

"I caught the end of the game after I got home from shooting," she says. "My parents are die-hard Red Sox fans, and I called them last night after they won. My mom was like, 'Your father and I split a bottle of wine.' They were both a little bit toasted."

Poehler laughs loudly at the thought of her tipsy Bostonian parents celebrating a Red Sox win. I ask if she thinks she's a generous laugher. "I don't break in scenes, but I do laugh too much," she says. "I was just directing Broad City, and the sound guy asked me, 'Can you laugh less during the takes?' And I was like, 'I can't promise you anything.' I like to laugh a lot. I have a crazy maniacal laugh that I try to maintain through diet and exercise." (via)

and i know you love national treasure alison janney just as much as i do. i'm going to make the west wing my next netflix adventure, i think. fave part:

Okay, let's talk about Masters of Sex. The scene in which Margaret takes the questionnaire about her sex life was one of the most heartbreaking things I've seen on TV. I loved that so much, and — well, I don't know if my mother would like to hear this, but I did channel my mother in that scene. Just because she has such a grace about her, and a soft humor, and I can just imagine her back in that time, being asked those questions. And I love her so much, but it would be the most awkward thing in the world for her to try to answer those questions gracefully. Like when Margaret says, "Well, I'm a fast learner. I taught myself Italian." God, the writers just handled it so beautifully. I'm telling you, this was some of the best writing and the best scenes that I've gotten to play, really, in my life. Such a beautiful emotional journey with this woman. And she's not a victim; she's a strong, strong woman. (via)

but also:

I was looking at your Esquire "What I've Learned" thing —
Oh God, what did I say?

#bestdamntapper

eric berry is still the cutest

my all-time favorite footvol got mic'd up for his game against the new york giants, and it is just amazing. you just have to watch the video in this article. he is so delightful.

“He kind of lives by ‘If you want some, come get some,'" coach Reid said. "I mean, that’s what he lives by; that’s how he handles practice. He’s out there every day. He doesn’t miss practice; he doesn’t miss workouts. He’s going to challenge every play. That’s his mode. He doesn’t care if it’s practice; he doesn’t care if it’s a game. That’s what he does and guys like that. I think, in a simple package, that’s what he’s all about.” (via)

GIMME THAT BALL ELI!

2Pz national treasure

joel's recent installment reminded me that i've been meaning to share this comprehensive look at the acting career of claire danes, who obviously qualifies for national treasure status. it's really old (from before the homeland season 3 premiere), but richard lawson had told me that he just read it, so you can stuff your comments in a christmas stocking.

2Pz National Treasure

i just read this nymag profile of Julia Louis-Dreyfus and I must say, what a complete delight.

a real treasure. a treat.

introducing....bao bao!

apparently, there's some kind of chinese tradition that dictates you don't get a real name until you're 100 days old. so the national zoo's baby panda turned 100 (days) and they named it bao bao. but i don't care about any of that, because will you just LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!!!?!?!

2Pz National Treasure

I was listening to Reba McEntire sing about The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia, and i was thinking, this is obviously one of the best songs in the entire world. This song is a National Treasure, and so is Reba McEntire for writing it. Then I did a little digging. Turns out that the Reba version from 1991 is one of those magical covers that has totally explised the original (like what Ike and Tina did to Creedance Clearwater Revival with Proud Mary). The original version of this song, written by Bobby Russell was recorded by his wife, Vicki Lawrence, from The Carol Burnett Show and later Mama's Family. Originally, Bobby Russell did not want to even record a demo for the song because he didn't like it. Vicki Lawrence, his wife at the time, revealed the history of the song on her talk show in the 1990s when Reba McEntire was a guest on her show. According to Lawrence, she believed it was destined to be a hit and recorded the demo herself. The publisher didn't quite know where to pitch the song. The first thought was to pitch the song to Liza Minnelli. However, "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" was first offered to Cher, but her then-husband and manager Sonny Bono reportedly turned it down (he was said to be concerned that the song might offend Cher's southern fans) via

  Tanya Tucker also did a cover of this song in 1981 that changed the plot around to suit the movie of the same name that was released that year. I can't talk about this special song without mentioning the best monologue in sitcom history delivered by Dixie Carter in Designing Women. And that Marjorie, just so you will know, and your children will someday know, is the night the lights went out in Georgia. Applause Applause.

2Pz National Treasure

this little science fair queen is inventing all kinds of science and it being fierce while doing so.

2Pz national treasurez

nEw bLoG FeAtCh!


welcome to a new recurring 2Pz column : 2Pz national treasurez, where we celebrate americans who touch our hearts. today, please welcome...shelton johnson!!!!!!111

in protest of the #shutdown, i've been watching the ken burns documentary series "national parks: america's best idea". anyone who's ever seen it will know who shelton johnson is. he's been called "the unexpected star" of the series. he was invited to the white house to watch the doc with president obama (and presumably bo obama). and remember when oprah and gayle visited yosemite national park. well, you can guess who invited them.

do yourself a favor and read all about shelton. then, let's quit our jobs and go be national park rangers, ok?

stop whatever you're doing and read this liza minnelli interview

national treasure

beyonce to the haters: "FUCK YOU"

  "Due to the weather, due to the delay, due to no proper soundcheck, I did not feel comfortable taking a risk. It was about the president and the inauguration, and I wanted to make him and my country proud. So I decided to sing along with my prerecorded track which is very common in the music industry," she explained. "I'm very proud of my performance." 

 And then there was the question as to what she would do at the halftime show, which is under more intense scrutiny following the inauguration scandal. "I will absolutely be singing live," she said. "I am well-rehearsed. This is what I'm born to do." Beyoncé almost seemed to welcome the controversy: "I love haters," she said. "No shame. No hate." any questions?

phew...

ok, good.

"It was entirely my decision to step down from my position as Head Coach of women's basketball at the University of Tennessee. As I stated at my press conference in April when I announced my decision, I loved being the Head Coach for 38 years, but, after consultation with my son, my doctors, my lawyer, and several close friends, I concluded that the time had come to move into the future and step into a new role."

from cnn

WHAT.

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Pat Summitt said in an affidavit that she initially felt she was being forced to step down as the Lady Vols' basketball coach by Tennessee athletic director Dave Hart, who later told Summitt that she had misinterpreted his comments.

The signed affidavit was part of a lawsuit filed against the University of Tennessee by former Lady Vols media director Debby Jennings. In it, Summitt said Hart told her at a March 14 meeting prior to the NCAA tournament that she would have to step down at the end of the season. Summitt had revealed before the season that she was battling early-onset dementia.

"This was very surprising to me and very hurtful, as that was a decision I would have liked to have made on my own at the end of the season after consulting with my doctors, colleagues and friends and not be told this by Mr. Hart," Summitt said in the affidavit. "I felt this was wrong." (via)

someone tell barack obama. nobody hurts coach pat. NOBODY!!

morning tearjerker

an outpouring of support for coach summitt has begun. she really is just the best, and its touching to see her recognized on a national level.

Pat Summitt has won eight national championships at Tennessee, but that is not her legacy. She has won more than 1,000 games and counting, but that is not her legacy. In the coming days, you will undoubtedly hear dozens of former and current players tell stories about how much Summitt meant to their lives, about the lessons she taught them and the things she made them learn about themselves. You hear that about the very best coaches.

But I don't think even that is her legacy.

Summitt has coached her women like they were men. She has done it for so long, and so well, that it now sounds politically incorrect even to say that. We now assume that women should be coached and pushed, not coddled. We assume they should be taught and critiqued and made to run gassers and hit the weight room. We assume they should play not just to play, but to achieve. We assume all of this largely because of Pat Summitt. (via)

bonus links:
new york times
sports illustrated
the tennessean

maura b. jacobson, a national treasure.

i love maura b. jacobson, and the nearly perfect crosswords she's created for new york magazine for 31 years. she is the primary reason i maintain a subscription, and i have been PISSED over the last year that every other week i have to deal with cathy allis's amatuer bullshit.

i'm sad to see her go, but you just have to read this feature on her. she is aDORbz!

Even the most consistent things must eventually come to an end, and 31 years and a bit over 1,400 puzzles later, Maura is retiring, despite our protestations. (One editor here actually burst into tears when she heard the news.) Over the course of her career, Maura has also contributed lots of puzzles to the New York Times—her longtime friend Will Shortz, the Times’ puzzle editor, calls her “a national treasure”—and to the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament, the annual convention of across-and-downers. Maura’s the only one who’s kicked in a puzzle every single year since the tournament began, and when her name is announced, she gets thunderous applause. That’s because the crowd knows her trademarks well: grids that are unusually dense with theme clues, shot through with a distinctive and sometimes antic whimsy. (via)

i nearly burst into tears when i read this, too (i actually bit my finger when i read the title: "thirty-one down"). did you know she is a three-time jeopardy winner?!!? RIP maura! i'll miss you so much!