anytime you need a friend, i will be here

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help. hank. help. help. hank. help.

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join me in a nice long cry

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STARLA'S CHARITY CASE BRACKET UPDATE!

if you're having trouble accessing starla's bracket, do me a favor and try clicking HERE, and entering the following password: cbtnt


let us know if you need more help. you have until NOON TOMORROW to enter. i have an insider tip that the prize money amount is currently at $150!!!!111

what did joel do this weekend?

click here to see what i did. thx melissa!

what it's like.

i was just remembering how i dry heaved on the E train this morning, and decided to lazily draft up a message to the MTA. joel wanted me to show it to you:

subject: i'm a human being

question: i take the E every morning (around 7am) from court sq to 42nd street, and i find that there is an unusually high frequency of remnants from overnight homeless passengers. this morning, i literally became nauseous from the sights and smells that greeted me. i guess i just want the MTA to freshen up the trains before the morning rush hour begins, and/or put more effort into preventing passengers from using the restroom in them. the E train is especially bad. just a heads up. thanks!

i sent it. i'll let you know.

UPDATE! response!

Response (Fernando Polanco) - 04/28/2011 02:55 PM

This is in response to your recent e-mail to MTA New York City Transit reporting poor conditions in our subway system.

We regret if you experienced difficulty due to the conditions you reported. Please be assured that customer safety and comfort are New York City Transit’s highest priorities. All subway cars are regularly swept and mopped when trains reach their home terminal points, and more extensive cleaning tasks are performed when trains are returned to the storage yard. There are also signs posted in the subway reminding customers not to litter. Station personnel will continue to regularly inspect our subway cars and take corrective action as necessary to ensure proper conditions. In response to your e-mail, we have referred your comments to our Department of Subways for their review and further appropriate action.

In addition, please note that the MTA New York City Transit is aware of homeless individuals in the subway system and is continuing to work with the Transit Bureau of the New York City Police Department to address this problem. Officers from the Transit Bureau patrol the system at all times, and New York City Transit has an aggressive program to reduce homelessness and panhandling and a public awareness campaign intended to discourage our customers from contributing to panhandlers. In addition, the MTA sponsors a social outreach group called MTA/Connections Outreach that works with homeless people in the subway, identify their problems and directing them to services providing food, shelter and treatment. The New York City Police Department’s Transit Bureau Homeless Outreach Unit and MTA Connections Outreach will be made aware of your concerns and appropriate action will be taken as warranted. If you would like further information regarding this homeless condition or MTA’s Outreach program, please call Cynthia Wilson, Program Manager, MTA Homeless Outreach at 212-878-1076. Please be assured we will continue our efforts to reduce homelessness in the subway and to ensure a proper environment for our customers.

If you have further station-related questions or concerns, we ask that you contact us at (718) 330-1234, from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., seven days a week, regarding this type of issue.

We take the concerns of our customers very seriously and thank you for having taken the time to bring this matter to our attention.

Fernando Polanco
Staff Analyst l

well, that was fast! little do they know, i also take the G, whose terminal station is also court square, and i see them routinely NOT mopping that train. just standing around with mops and making me wait while they chit chat for 10 minutes. but that's ok, because the G(reat) train is adorable and never smelly or dirty and hardly needs cleaning at all! do you know why they call it the G train? because you GET to take it!

somebody help

ever since i got hacked on twitter and tried to tell people that there were free ipads all over the internet, this thing keeps popping up every now and then. is this happening because i changed my password, or is this another trick to steal my identity and give all my friends ipads?

responsible for spills

source

what is that ostrich doing there?

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father fail

this little one only wanted some beyonce in his life.

oh god.

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something to lift your spirits this monday.

Every year, approximately 7 percent of us will be afflicted to some degree by the awful mental state that William Styron described as a “gray drizzle of horror . . . a storm of murk.” Obsessed with our pain, we will retreat from everything. We will stop eating, unless we start eating too much. Sex will lose its appeal; sleep will become a frustrating pursuit. We will always be tired, even though we will do less and less. We will think a lot about death. (via)

jk, it will make you feel worse. or will it? whom knows.

my so called life, 15 years later

temple grandin and jordan catalano are photographed together at the elle fashion awards in london. apparently this is the first picture they have been in together since my so called life, 15 years ago. angela turned beautiful and poised the way we all knew she would, and it seems jordan is still battling his demons... cry for help.
source, via

newsflash, memphis is cool

the new york times sent some lowly reporter to memphis, and she can barely conceal her disdain.

me too, melena.

read the article if you want, or read my recap here : memphis... the people are friendly and trashy, you're screwed if you don't want beer, i hope you like shitty bands.

oh yeah.

i meant to show you this picture a couple of weeks ago....

i found this giveaway pile in erin macb's "hallway" (story of her life, right?!). jk, in her actual hallway. though i can't imagine why anyone would want to part with this very specific yet diverse collection of items:

five (5) dr. phil self-help books
abs of steel on VHS
an instructional dog-training VHS
two installments of the harry potter storybooks
and the best, obvi: another self help book, entitled taking charge of your fertility.

all for FREE Free!!!

joey celebritony pepperoni

look at joey tony on tv!! for those of you that don't know him, he appears at :07.

jk. he's the guy with the red nose at :32.

what type are you?

Since 1974, the design studio Pentagram has come up with a special way to usher in the holiday season, sending a select group of friends, colleagues and clients small booklets with an emphasis on strong graphic design rather than pat holiday greetings. But we kinda think they outdid themselves with 2009’s edition, the charming and incredibly well-executed and interactive What Type Are You? Typeface, that is! After entering your name and password—happily, we are allowed to reveal here that it is “character”—turn your speakers, as directed, up. A nattily dressed man, seen only from the neck down, goes into therapy mode, speaking in what we’re imagining is a Freud-like accent. He’ll ask you four simple questions, pausing and fidgeting impatiently if you take too long, and will reveal your own individual “type.” There are 16 different possibilities (from Archer Hairline to Universal), and you’ll receive a short and fascinating history lesson on the specified font. Talk about a gift that keeps giving..

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i am dot matrix... but it is possible if i wasnt currently experiencing an emotional breakdown i may have answered differently. i am a gemini after all.