sorry joel...

kiss your boyfriend goodbye (probably)... the jets have reportedly landed tim tebow. 

ctm.

the internet's most obnoxious sports blogger, clay travis, points out that this rendering of future renovations of florida's football stadium shows a florida fan wearing jorts.

shoot 'em elizabeth!

lots of folks watched Swamp People last week. nytimes told me so. being that it's just about the best show on television in history, i can't say i'm surprised. did you watch?

avocados are getting cheaper

i saw this t-shirt at lunch today and thought of kylie. she is gator huntin' this week without much luck. i bet she hasn't tried avocados yet.

urban decline

how many bad puns will you read by the end of the day that involve the news about urban meyer stepping down again at florida?

let go my nose plz?

ouch

something for you to put in your memory box...

the UT VOLS are playing the stinky swampy florida oil spill gator-thugs this weekend.

we're going to wipe the floors with those assholes. consider making some of this for yourself to nosh while you cheer with us!

there is also a "time to die" VOL shirt being sold in honor of the gator football loser who texted that to his girlfriend before he beat the shit out of her.

Vols lose to Florida

The Vols went down to Gainsville to play the unranked, jort-wearing Gators. Those prehistoric jerks put a hurting on the struggling Volunteers, who might be watching their March hopes go down the tuuuuuuuubbbbbbes




Somehow, this is Tim Tebow's fault.

just as we all suspected.

tim tebag and urban meyer are totes gay for each other!!!

plenty to pass around indeed!

what if tim teabag twittered?

espn projects what that might look like.

omg, remember that dreamboat, chris leak?

thx joey.

zoo tour, part four

UPDATE!!!

joel holds prada

GATORS!

after my thrilling experiences with all those other animals i told you 'bout i couldnt even begin to imagine what my zookeeper tour guide had in store for me next. i figured it out when we walked through a door that said reptile husbandry. gulp.

this is the outdoor gator. he is like 13 feet long. jerry hopped down there and fed him meat on a stick while entertaining the crowd with anecdotes and factoids. gator munched the stick and bent it. nom nom nom.

there were two giant inside gators. dont be fooled though, these are NOT albinos. just very very pale. neither one of them were hungry and wouldnt eat the meat pieces because they were too cold. someone left the air conditioner on for too long. wah waaaahhhh. look at all those losers on the other side of the glass with no zookeeper friends. LOSERS. be jelly.

this one never took his oily scheming eye off of me the entire time we were there. you can see from the photo that there was a clear lighted path between him and me... with nothing but an open gate to stop him from tearing into my sunburnt flesh. luckily he was too cold to move.

i named this one prada. he was small enough for me to hold, and boy did i. i wasnt surprised that alligators are pretty chilly, but i was surprised that this one seemed pretty fragile underneath. the top is definitely scaly, but i could feel bones and organs and everything. super cool.

next time on my behind the scenes zoo tour...a recreation of the most heartbreaking scene commited to celluloid. makes me cry no matter what.