gchatz w/ john

John: so weird
i just got a message from you that says "bye!"
and it's time stamped 5:41 pm
i assume that was from you yesterday
a message from the past!
me: maybe it was from the future
John: i hope so
me: its from beyond the grave
John: it's like a message in a bottle
me: its from 5.41pm on the day i die
John: that's sweet
wish there was a date
so you could prepare
me: i know what it is. but ill never tell you
John: the date you'll die on?
me: i will say that its after you
but i also know that we will have gchat in the afterlife
John: i'm not so sure of that
me: i'm saying bye because ill be on my way to heaven
and you're somewhere else
John: what if you go at my doing?
me: you actually die while attempting to murder me
John: that would explain why i'm somewhere else
this is so complicated
me: thats how i know i outlive you
John: your death is too complicated
me: i've seen it
in a beautiful nightmare
your death is VERY simple
John: explain
i would like to keep my death simple
i prefer the term "understated"
me: if you can describe bleeding to death from a slit throat as understated, then yes
John: that doesn't seem simple at all
it seems long!
me: simple for me
of course, it can all be avoided
if you never cross me
you wont get your throat slit
John: well then, when i come to kill you i know to wear a protective collar
and you know i love an accessory
gonna stock up on chain-mail collars
me: i'm going to slit your other throat
iykwim
John: i can wear protection down there too
all my arteries will be protected when i decide to do you in
me: i'm going to give you a new smile. down there.
John: now you've lost me
you're going to give me a colombian necktie on my dick?
me: just keep your hands off me and you'll be fine
John: but i'm going to wear all sorts of protection, so i'll be fine regardless of what i do

thomas wilhelm's spirit flower

For the first time in nearly 80 years, NYBG has a corpse flower on display! Also known as the titan-arum, Amorphophallus titanum last bloomed here in 1939, and our current specimen looks just about ready to unfurl. These unpredictable plants have a brief but vivid blooming period of just 24–36 hours, and that's after 10 years of careful tending by our horticulturists. We expect the plant to live up to its name in the next few days with a vibrant color and fragrance that should make clear why it's called the corpse flower. Head to nybg.org to learn more about this upcoming botanical spectacle!

A photo posted by The New York Botanical Garden (@nybg) on Jul 20, 2016 at 2:20pm PDT

here's a live stream:

did thomas wilhelm get a new job and nobody told me?

Is the person naming these colors of yarn okay pic.twitter.com/nOU4SDhmQo

— Kendra W (@kendrawcandraw) July 6, 2016

i'm posting this for thomas wilhelm, even if he will never see it

Ghost caught on camera https://t.co/If0ZctSnTR

— Best Vines (@TheFunnyVine) June 22, 2016

thomas wilhelm's flight gets cancelled

reminds me of the time she missed the ferry to queens.

this reminds me of thomas wilhelm trying to go to work after a snowstorm

Via @beigecardigan

A video posted by Natasha Lyonne (@nlyonne) on Feb 1, 2016 at 8:46am PST

did anyone else think this was thomas wilhelm?

When u wake up on a Friday

A video posted by Hello@fuckjerry.com (@fuckjerry.tv) on Dec 11, 2015 at 8:09am PST

i believe its been said before

but it bears repeating.


the shoulder shrug at :33 is a dead. giveaway. that thomas wilhelm is inside that pumpkinhead.

i thought this was thomas wilhelm

BOO! Send us your scariest urban legends in 140 characters or less with #UrbanLegends140. pic.twitter.com/UCTzWbqVnd

— Mashable Watercooler (@watercooler) October 26, 2015

what did thomas wilhelm do this weekend?

my hairdresser found two teens bonging dew outside the post office pic.twitter.com/KzrPu4GZgB

— tiny togepi (@skullface) September 18, 2015

(via)

"pure nightmare fuel"

hfs.

someone shuffled off to buffalo and got trayupped!

@DeltaAssist @Delta why was flight DL6204 canceled? No reason was given.

— thomas wilhelm (@_thomas_wilhelm) July 21, 2015

@DeltaAssist no, I booked myself on 7:02 flight that's delayed until 8:25, almost 5 hours after my original flight. Will I ever get home?

— thomas wilhelm (@_thomas_wilhelm) July 21, 2015

she's going to miss RHoNYC. #trapqueen

little miss hot as balls

thomas wilhelm's spirit animal

thomas wilhelm is never going to feel clean again

Post by MIX 107.9.

definitely going to see this with thomas wilhelm.

One of the most intriguing — and most discussed — films at this year’s Sundance Film Festival is a curious documentary called The Nightmare, which recounts and restages the experiences of various people who suffer from extreme forms of sleep paralysis. The subject is fascinating enough on its own, but The Nightmare was directed by Rodney Ascher, who made a splash at the 2012 festival with Room 237, his experimental documentary about different, out-there interpretations of Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. As might be expected, The Nightmare, not unlike the previous film, is by turns playful, probing, and terrifying. (via)

thomas wilhelm just tagged me in this.

@diesel #dieselhigh

A video posted by Elliot Tebele (@fuckjerry) on Jan 26, 2015 at 9:49am PST

and just for good measure:

thomas wilhelm misses the last ferry to kweenz.

(via)

this video perfectly captures my feelings about thomas wilhelm.

(via)

stay humble, thomas wilhelm

Post by Hugo Gloss.

#stayhumble

thx ms danglez!