set your tivo's

danielle is coming back to rhonj

you can't invite that bitch anywhere.

i've had several reports that that sl_t-c_nt (as joel so aptly described her while watching the grammys), taylor swift, is making everyone's chrome crash, mine included.

so i'm taking her bitch-ass off our blog. you're welcome.

elizabeth warren : class act.

BROCKTON, Mass. -- Moments into a speech before volunteers here Wednesday evening, Elizabeth Warren was interrupted by a Tea Party supporter who hurled a gender-based epithet at the Senate candidate. The man, who said he'd been unemployed since February 2010, objected to Warren's expressed affiliation with the frustrations of Occupy Wall Street, and argued that the Tea Party has been protesting Wall Street excess for longer than the nascent global movement.

The crowd tried to shout the man down, but Warren told her supporters to let him speak. "No, no, it's alright. Let me say two things," she said. "I'm very sorry that you've been out of work. I'm also very sorry that the recent jobs bill that would've brought 22,000 jobs to Massachusetts did not pass in the Senate."

Speaking in a packed VFW hall, Warren went on to address his question about her association with Occupy Wall Street. "I've been protesting what's been going on on Wall Street for a very long time," she said, but added that the movement has its own independent agenda and will proceed along its own course.

"Yeah, so has the Tea Party," the man said, before losing his cool.

"Well, if you're the intellectual creator of that so-called party," he said, "you're a socialist whore. I don't want anything to do with you." The crowd shouted him down as he added that Warren's "boss," presumably referring to the president, was "foreign-born." He then attempted to storm out through a side door. Finding it locked, he retreated out the back of the VFW hall instead. (via)

hot new serial killer!

right here in new york (on long island!)

The skeletal remains of four people -- one believed to be that of a prostitute who vanished in May -- have been found off a Long Island beach, and a police source told The Post that cops are now looking into the disappearance of other hookers.

Detectives, apparently fearing a Jack the Ripper is on the loose, are scrambling to investigate other reports of missing women in the area, according to The Post's source.

The first body -- found on Saturday in thick underbrush about 10 feet north of Ocean Parkway at Oak Beach -- could be that of Shannan Gilbert, a 24-year-old prostitute, the source said. The other three bodies were discovered yesterday. (via)

way to kep it profesh, new york post. the word "hookers" in the first paragraph!

this sounds like a case for dexter! brb taking down a craigslist ad.

women grab each other like animals when the guards aren't looking. it's disgusting. (OMG, TMAI)

now that lindsay lohan is going to jail, it's not a question of if she will get raped by fearsome lesbian gangs, but when. one of her future inmate neighbors, 38 year old tamara haley, imprisoned for possessing heroin and prostitution, warned that "everyone will want a piece of her." fox news reports.

also, apparently there's body lice to be had. have fun you dumb bitch.

Masters, Baiters

Phil Mickelson just won his third Masters Tournament. He dedicated the tournament to his wife and mom who are both battling kancer, so I'm gonna go ahead and say he won it for me, too. Way to go Phil, I'm honored. Don't go sleepin' 'round wit' hoes on us now. That being said, Tiger finished a respectable 4th.

In other sporting news, I wish we had a bass team when I was a student.

My favorite street

Just a quick stroll over the Pulaski Bridge from my apartment, Manhattan Avenue in Greenpoint is one of my favorite places to go explore on a warm afternoon, buy a halloween costume, or buy candy. It seems that I am not the only one to have discovered some of it's many delights. However, Tina Fey expresses her love for Manhattan Ave.'s delights more eloquently than I could ever hope. She tells Esquire:

"The best doughnut? That's Peter Pan doughnuts in Brooklyn. It's a Polish bakery. We shot nearby once for 30 Rock. It's a white-cream-filled powdered doughnut. And I really believe, when I first tried it, if I had a penis, I would put it in this doughnut. I finally understand what you guys are thinking about and what motivates you guys."

I am locked up in Manhattan, which is not the same as Manhattan Avenue, so I unfortunately cannot go try these donut whores for myself. They're just asking for it. I will add them to my list.

Keep an eye out for future Manhattan Ave. posts.

(via via)

barf (in a bad way)

ugh, this is the nation's first male prostitute, "markus". he's a 25 year old college drop-out, ex-marine, from hatton AL, and no, he doesn't sleep with menz. he's hole up at the shady lady ranch in NV where he charges $200 for forty minutes, and $300 for an hour. here are two wonderful quote from new york post lady-reporter, mandy stadtmiller, who spent a couple hours with markus, but didn't do the nasty :

"'so,' markus says after leaning over and kissing my knee, 'we’re going to get undressed and then take a shower. then we can both inspect each other to make sure there are no discrepancies.'
minutes later, as we’re standing naked in the shower, he’s examining me like a second-rate gynecologist and nodding.
'yeah,' he murmurs, cooing that i’m 'practically' an 8 or a 9. 'everything looks great down there.'
oh. my. god."

"he’s half irish, a quarter native american, a quarter scandinavian and all lover. favorite book: '1984.' favorite movie: 'braveheart.' actor he’s like: 'steve-O.' musician he’s like: 'moby,' or — wait for it — 'choppin' (meaning chopin)."

shew, good luck you boxy son-of-a-bitch.

read all you want :
[details]
[nypost]
[gawker]

teresa transcribed.

well i hope everyone watched the real housewives of new jersey season finale like i told you to. it was 11 biscuits. below, i've transcribed teresa's meltdown for you.

"i AM paying attention. obviously, there has to be somethin' else. it's just not name change, and arrested. there has to be something else. oh, you're stripping. you're stripping. prostitution whore! you were f***in' engaged! (table lift) nineteen times! you f***in' stupid BITCH! (table FLIP!)

comin'! comin' to my traaaaaaahhh (unintelligible squawking) ah baaaaaaaaaah! f***in' BITCH! WHOOOOOOORRRRAAAUHH!! (husband pushes her away) she's a f***in' PIG! she's f***in' pissin' me off. UGH! (kisses husband, joe) i love you. ("take it easy" -joe)

(sits back down) don't f***in' think that im f***in' airheady and stupid, because that's what pissed me off. and then tellin' me to f***in' pay attention. she doesn't know who the f*** she's f***in' with, ok? and i don't have no f***in' skeletons, in my f***in' closet. thank you very much.

THANK you.

thank you."

you're welcome, teresa. and thank YOU.



on thursday, bravo is airing an hour-long extended version of the dinner scene, named "the last supper". ctm. reunion next tuesday.