me walking into a nail salon with my bestie to get mani pedis even though we didn't make a reservation. pic.twitter.com/cImxCADV4Y— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) August 14, 2016
15 August 2016
ctm
12 August 2016
gchatz w/ john
John: so weird
i just got a message from you that says "bye!"
and it's time stamped 5:41 pm
i assume that was from you yesterday
a message from the past!
me: maybe it was from the future
John: i hope so
me: its from beyond the grave
John: it's like a message in a bottle
me: its from 5.41pm on the day i die
John: that's sweet
wish there was a date
so you could prepare
me: i know what it is. but ill never tell you
John: the date you'll die on?
me: i will say that its after you
but i also know that we will have gchat in the afterlife
John: i'm not so sure of that
me: i'm saying bye because ill be on my way to heaven
and you're somewhere else
John: what if you go at my doing?
me: you actually die while attempting to murder me
John: that would explain why i'm somewhere else
this is so complicated
me: thats how i know i outlive you
John: your death is too complicated
me: i've seen it
in a beautiful nightmare
your death is VERY simple
John: explain
i would like to keep my death simple
i prefer the term "understated"
me: if you can describe bleeding to death from a slit throat as understated, then yes
John: that doesn't seem simple at all
it seems long!
me: simple for me
of course, it can all be avoided
if you never cross me
you wont get your throat slit
John: well then, when i come to kill you i know to wear a protective collar
and you know i love an accessory
gonna stock up on chain-mail collars
me: i'm going to slit your other throat
iykwim
John: i can wear protection down there too
all my arteries will be protected when i decide to do you in
me: i'm going to give you a new smile. down there.
John: now you've lost me
you're going to give me a colombian necktie on my dick?
me: just keep your hands off me and you'll be fine
John: but i'm going to wear all sorts of protection, so i'll be fine regardless of what i do
i just got a message from you that says "bye!"
and it's time stamped 5:41 pm
i assume that was from you yesterday
a message from the past!
me: maybe it was from the future
John: i hope so
me: its from beyond the grave
John: it's like a message in a bottle
me: its from 5.41pm on the day i die
John: that's sweet
wish there was a date
so you could prepare
me: i know what it is. but ill never tell you
John: the date you'll die on?
me: i will say that its after you
but i also know that we will have gchat in the afterlife
John: i'm not so sure of that
me: i'm saying bye because ill be on my way to heaven
and you're somewhere else
John: what if you go at my doing?
me: you actually die while attempting to murder me
John: that would explain why i'm somewhere else
this is so complicated
me: thats how i know i outlive you
John: your death is too complicated
me: i've seen it
in a beautiful nightmare
your death is VERY simple
John: explain
i would like to keep my death simple
i prefer the term "understated"
me: if you can describe bleeding to death from a slit throat as understated, then yes
John: that doesn't seem simple at all
it seems long!
me: simple for me
of course, it can all be avoided
if you never cross me
you wont get your throat slit
John: well then, when i come to kill you i know to wear a protective collar
and you know i love an accessory
gonna stock up on chain-mail collars
me: i'm going to slit your other throat
iykwim
John: i can wear protection down there too
all my arteries will be protected when i decide to do you in
me: i'm going to give you a new smile. down there.
John: now you've lost me
you're going to give me a colombian necktie on my dick?
me: just keep your hands off me and you'll be fine
John: but i'm going to wear all sorts of protection, so i'll be fine regardless of what i do
another champion named simone!
i burst into tears when this happened.
and i burst into laughter when i saw this:
make sure you're following leslie jones on snapchat, now that she's made it to rio. #slayallday
and i burst into laughter when i saw this:
Yea we tied but look who I'm top though!! pic.twitter.com/YBNsXklpfU— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) August 12, 2016
make sure you're following leslie jones on snapchat, now that she's made it to rio. #slayallday
need this on spotify, dad.
Been waiting to drop this: summer playlist, the encore. What's everybody listening to? pic.twitter.com/mqh1YVrycj— President Obama (@POTUS) August 11, 2016
11 August 2016
10 August 2016
hahahaha
PENGUINS WALKING DOWN STAIRS MY DAY HAS BEEN MADE pic.twitter.com/fAqLzH1btw
— Animal Gifs (@BabyAnimalGifs) August 10, 2016
09 August 2016
when you look cute but you're not summer ready
Puppy v. Screen Door #MaybeTooManyTreats #YeaProbTooManyTreats pic.twitter.com/roe9dDEpqD
— BarkBox (@barkbox) August 9, 2016
talented indeed.
A talented young goat riding a wild tortellini pic.twitter.com/rP8JIjfTvE— 100% Goats (@EverythingGoats) August 9, 2016
mz jackson
Janet Jackson has a soufflé of a voice — thin, delicate, pleasurably sweet. On "Control," she displayed all three https://t.co/H8ErpdNfVZ
— New York Times Arts (@nytimesarts) August 9, 2016
08 August 2016
i finally found out what the rio cauldron lighting looked like
Let the games begin. pic.twitter.com/YVaamT8eTE
— Dave Pell (@davepell) August 5, 2016
05 August 2016
Is your Investment Advisor this cool?
Probably not.
My Bank is hosting it's first WOW-lympics and as the new blood, I was recruited to spear head our skit.
Check out the video below and LIKE the video on the bank's facebook page HERE
but look how cute this dog it tho
Tiny stray dog finds her human when she joins him for 77 miles in race https://t.co/WdsXmntFZv via @goodnews
— joel v melton (@JVMmonogram) August 5, 2016
we habin funz
THIS JUST MADE ME SO HAPPY pic.twitter.com/LuFBWWWLZU
— Animal Gifs (@BabyAnimalGifs) August 5, 2016
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