will you get a load of this asshole?

Lane Kiffin is here. And he's wearing stunna shades. https://t.co/1ZJl0wmSrG

— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) January 12, 2016

luckily, they left his ass at the stadium.

The Alabama team buses aren't here anymore. Lane Kiffin is. pic.twitter.com/CoerIM49VA

— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) January 12, 2016

don't touch lane's butt.

When @AshawnRobinson surprises Lane Kiffin with a light tap on the backside...😳 pic.twitter.com/BShvzzNibx

— Taylor Tannebaum (@TaylorTannebaum) November 23, 2015

never forget.

gurl....

Girl...RT @LaylaKiffin: Looks like our fan club is excited for our return to Knoxville. pic.twitter.com/z2S7hqLUFZ
— Doc McStuffins (@AntiTwittaMeaux) October 22, 2014

(via)

lane kiffin's wikipedia entry

First few sentences of Lane Kiffin's Wikipedia are great.@ClayTravisBGID pic.twitter.com/cO7M7Q70ws

— Josh Yankovich (@JoshYankovich) October 16, 2014

two horrible worlds collide

Tosh.0
Get More: Comedy Central

one of the few people that gobble my goop more that lane kiffin is tosh.0. so it's appropriate that they've been united in this distasteful bit of ridicule.

i am so happy that alabama's reign has ended under kiffin. kiss of death.

spotted, on the UT strip

34 days!

lane kiffin is a loser and now he works for alabama so that makes them losers

he was hired as the new offensive coordinator. well, i know i am offended and he coordinated it.

7 (and 6 and 5 and 4) DAYS!!!!!!!!!

2012 update : this 2009 post doesnt make sense anymore, but just deal with it, ok? it's been edited just slightly, but not with very much effort because unlike 2009, i have a job now (thanks, barack!). please note the prescient hatred for penn state. 

gosh, i know! i have been slacking big-time on the UT-football-greatness list. to make it up to all of you, and to get us all back on schedule, ima do a 4sie today. here we go!

10. the pride of the southland marching band
9. smokey
8. rocky top

7. the color orange!!

this should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me. orange is my favorite color. just ask anything i own. like my bike.

pantone 151c = where it's at.

6. eric berry!!

good luck! you're never going to catch him!

i love eric berry so much that i named my bike after him, and she's a lady! the UT safety is the first heisman-candidate we've had since peyton manning (i'm pretty sure). i hear what they're saying, that his chances are slim. tennessee will need to have a fairly successful season, and he'll have to pull out an amazing play in every single game. pssh. like that's even hard!!

he's the fastest runner. he takes the ball whenever he wants it. he'll run right around tim teabag. and watch out if you're georgia... he'll hit you so hard! he can play any position, just ask him! and he has the cutest tweets.

just sayin'... be sure to keep your peepers on number 14. he's a show-stopper!

5. trash talkingugh. georgia is the worst. their colors are red and black, which are ugly and boring. and they can never beat tennessee. it's like, if you put adult clothes on a bunch of toddlers and sent them out onto a football field...THAT's what it's like when georgia plays.

don't even get me started on florida. they repeatedly have poor wardrobe choices, they think their quarterback is so great, and their stadium is totes UgLy!

and auburn. second-rate at just about everything. guh-ross! their mascot is "tigers" but they yell "war eagle" like it makes any sense at all. that is 1) not an acceptible greeting, 2) not your mascot, and 3) not even an animal. more like "butt eagle".

and the same goes for the rest of you.

to be fair, the SEC is the greatest conference in all of college football, and i'd rather see all of these teams win than anyone in the big 10, especially the mf-ing nittany kitty katz. me-ouch!

4. lane kiffin!!

what a dreamboat. and he loves trash talking, too! lane's been making plenty of pre-season waves. i'm actually starting to think he might be a little bit crazy... like, beyonce-crazy. and i like it.

while we're all on p's and n's, waiting to see if he backs it up, i am enjoying the ride. my approach to tennessee football tends toward belligerent confidence, and i get the impression his does too.

keep it up, lane. can't wait til saturday! fuck this guy.

vol me maybe

i hope that kiffin see me with all of this orange on.


bonus link : #teamnosleep (see how long you can watch before you have to look away in embearassment)

it's only fun when he's on your team.

“Are you sure I didn’t get blamed for the Kentucky game? I’m sure somebody somewhere blamed me for that,” Kiffin told the AJC with a laugh. 

"After we left two years ago, and I don’t remember the timeline, there were some floods in Tennessee. So people around here were joking that was my fault — that there were floods there." (via)

that's not funny. people died, you dick. DIED!

#neverabandonedthevols #betterthanyou

(ps - sorry, jenny)

never did know when to keep that trap shut, did he?

lane kiffin got fined $10,000 for crying like a little baby about unfair officiating, after his 3-OT loss to stanford on saturday. coaches aren't allowed to publicly criticize officials.

Kiffin, the Trojans' second-year head coach, was upset about the way the end of regulation in the classic Coliseum game was handled, among other disputed instances. He has said he was promised by side judge Brad Glenn that he'd be awarded a timeout if it was ruled that receiver Robert Woods was tackled inbounds with one second left in the game.

He was not, and he said in his postgame press conference following USC's 56-48 triple-overtime loss that he was "extremely disappointed" with the officiating. He then said Sunday that he was "basically lied to" by the Pac-12 officials.

"The Pac-12 has specific rules that prohibit our coaches from making public comments about officiating, and this prohibition specifically includes comments that create doubts about the credibility of the conference's officiating program," conference commissioner Larry Scott said in a statement released late Monday. "The Conference expects each Pac-12 coach to adhere to our standards of conduct and to conduct himself or herself in a manner which will reflect credit on the institution and the Conference." (via)

sorry, lane. life's not fair. you taught me that.

4 DAYS!!! (again)

i said it's GREAT.

29 DAYS.

sports illustrated has a short feature on tennessee running back and lane kiffin hater, tauren poole:

FOR ALL THE BRIDGES LANE KIFFIN TORCHED ON HIS WAY OUT OF KNOXVILLE, THE Tennessee faithful can be thankful for a blaze he ignited before he left town, one in the heart of running back Tauren Poole. It seems far away now, some 20 months and 1,000-plus yards later, but in November 2009 Poole was an afterthought on Kiffin's lone Volunteers team, a sophomore with 32 carries in two years. So when the coach approached Poole in the waning minutes of a Nov. 7 laugher against Memphis, telling him to enter the game, the fourth-stringer's answer was surprising. "No," Poole said, the menial serving of playing-time scraps insulting him as much as none at all. "I'm good." (via)

shit is goin down in knoxville

as y'all probz heard, the ncaa gave the volunteers a list of wrongdoings yesterday. there aren't really any new allegations, and bruce has already been punished by the school and the sec. chances are the ncaa won't get us too bad since the penalties are already more than what jim calhoun just got at uconn. we might lose a scholarship, but ho needs it when you get both pat and bruce's sons as walk ons? i think, like pat forde thinks, that mike hamilton should be held accountable in this. i'm pretty sure bruce will only be leaving on his own accord though. and lane kiffin is a douchebag. we also learned that georgia is still envious of the vols and will always be inferior.

via

finally, a REAL college football video.

i could watch us beat the s out of georgia for hours. and hours.

4 days until football time in tennessee

#4. Derek Dooley

We all have fond memories of the Philip Fulmer era of Tennessee football. We were excited and nervous when Lane Kiffin took over last season as he was a different kind of coach than we were used to, but there was hope that it might be a good thing.

Turns out Lane Kiffin was self serving jerk who completely disrespected Tennessee athletics, but there are no regrets about what happened last season because it has brought us to where we are now.

DOOLEY TIME.

Little Derek Dooley grew up in Athens, Georgia. His dad, Vince Dooley was the head football coach and athletic director of the third tier university there, his mother Barbara was a radio talk show host. After playing at Virginia Tech, and assistant coaching jobs at Georgia, SMU, LSU, and Miami (NFL), Dooley ended up as the head coach and athletic director at Louisiana Tech. He and his wife (a vagina doctor) have three young kids. This is what coach Dooley has to say about Tennessee football:

"As most of you know, I grew up in this conference. I grew up in the SEC. It didn't take me long as a youngster to realize that Tennessee was the essence of college football. Even as a young kid, watching the team run through the 'T,' when you see checkerboard end zones and, of course, hear 'Rocky Top' - those were vivid memories as a youngster."

It is great to have a new young coach in town with respect for our program and the SEC, but the real test will be played out between the hedges, under the lights, over the course of the upcoming seasons. I've got my fingers crossed and hopes set on an SEC championship and national title run within the next 5 years. GOOD LUCK DEREK DOOLEY!!

ps. i just watched that "run through the T" video and got real goosebumps!

volunteers summer ketchup

I know I've dropped the ball on my University of Tennessee Football news responsibilities as of late, so I'm going to take the time to fill y'all in, jicydk what has gone down recently.

Derek Dooley became the new head football coach back last winter when Lane Kiffin left. Kiffin went to USC after Pete Carroll got the hell out of dodge because he saw what was coming. USC got the smack down from the NCAA, their AD got fired, and Lane Kiffin continued to be a douche. He's being sued by the other greatest football team in the world, the Tennessee Titans, and he's continuing to run his mouth about how he didn't do anything wrong and folks are just out to get him, and that he's willing to cheat to win.

Ayres Hall got a clock for the first time ever. Now we'll know for sure when it's football time in Tennessee.

A bunch of UT players went to a classy establishment and beat up an off duty police officer. I've never been in this bar. Kylie went there once in college when it had a different name. She went to see Vaniller Ass, but he wouldn't perform because there weren't enough people that had gotten wasted enough to spend money to see him perform. Kylie was in rare form that night though, and by rare, I mean how she usually was on Thursday nights in college, so she was there. Shit-faced. Anyways, some of them got in trouble, and no surprise, a couple of them were from Memphis.

They'd've behaved if the Salt-n-Pepa haired cop from that Memphis lady cops show was there (third one down icydk).

Bryce Brown Bear came to town to ask for a release, but he didn't ask for it face to face with Dooley, opting for the traditional text message to the coach instead. He didn't get the release.

Two of those guys from Bar Knoxville got reinstated. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I'm going to defer to Dooley because I still think he is well intentioned and intelligent. Hopefully he want get more Lane Kiffiny than this.

Basil Marceaux gained a huge number of votes by wearing an awesome tie on Jimmy Kimmel.

We added more brick to Neyland in the off season. I can't say I'm a fan but it looks okayish. There will also be a new stepped amphitheater next to Alumni Memorial, and a fancy new plaza. I guess less asphalt is always a good thing, and it should be a great place to watch the band play Rocky Top on their march into the stadium.

jicydak.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- The Tennessee Titans are suing Southern California and coach Lane Kiffin for "maliciously" luring away assistant running backs coach Kennedy Pola a week before training camp opens.

Tennessee Football Inc., the company that owns the Titans, filed the lawsuit Monday in Davidson County Chancery Court against both the university and Kiffin.

The lawsuit accuses Southern California and Kiffin of violating Pola's contract that required him to have written permission to discuss a job with anyone other than the Titans. (via)

i'll be honest, this claim doesn't seem to hold a lot of water. but, any attempt at consequences for lane kiffin's jerkstore behavior is ok by me. TITAN UP!

look at that fatty.

duh.

In the latest round of the Lane Kiffin-Tennessee saga, the USC coach approached the Volunteers about meeting in the 2011 Chick-fil-A Kickoff Game.

Tennessee, the program Kiffin abruptly left for USC early this year, declined the invitation. (via)