hey queens, the beach is back

Ft. Tilden is officially back open after hurricane sandy came in and messed it all up. go find your tank top, reserve a seat on the hipster school bus, and grab a few mar-GO-ritas and pina-GO-ladas from duane reade because it is time to get unsupervised. via

would you like to know what to expect from the sky this summer?

jicydak, i'm a deft amateur meteorologist with some notable talents in weather control. i've had a bad feeling about what's to come based on the relentless brutality of this past winter. and now my fears have been confirmed. please read this summary of the farmer's almanac predictions for summer 2k14:

The 2014 edition of the Farmer’s Almanac predicts the New York area will be socked by a wet, hot summer that’s set to dump a higher-than-average amount of rain across the five boroughs.

“It looks like it’s going to be an oppressively hot and humid summer for the New York area,” said Sandi Duncan, the almanac’s managing editor.

“It’s going to be very humid and thundery,” she added.

Things will start heating up in mid-June, just as heavy rainfalls begin to move into the area, soaking city dwellers.

The heat and heavy rainfall will endure through the month of July and some of August before things begin to cool off and dry out.

also, sandy part two:

Duncan said a severe hurricane will likely threaten the East Coast sometime between Sept. 16 and 19, and take a course similar to that of Hurricane Sandy in 2012.

poor, poor red hook fairway

Like much of Red Hook, Fairway was destroyed by the flood waters. Every single component of the store—from the food products to the cash registers to the shelves—was irreparably damaged. When I visited last week it was startling to see how completely the space had been stripped. What was once a bustling grocery store is now a brick-walled shell. However, Fairway will be able to come back. Unlike many of the other small businesses that were damaged, Fairway has the reserves to rebuild. It's taking a particularly long time because of the massive amounts of equipment that needed to be re-ordered. It's not the kind of stuff you can get from IKEA. In the meantime, though, every single worker who had been employed at the Red Hook branch has been reassigned to other Fairway locations and provided with free transportation to those satellite stores. (via)

she won't re-open until march. ;(

Martha Stewart survived superstorm Sandy, but these pine trees did not

It only takes 38 pictures for Martha Stewart to relay the story of how a team of tree removers left her with some stumps. I'm being glib, but I actually did enjoy the slideshow.

ToooOOooTtTt!! ttTtTTooooOOOOOoOOoTTTTTT!!!!!11111

GUESS WHO'S BACK!!!

LOLOLOL

look at these idiots waiting for the L train this morning!!!

dine out williamsburg

This Thursday, November 8th, we will be holding Dine Out Williamsburg for Sandy Relief. All restaurants, bars, and businesses need to do to participate is pledge 10-20% of gross sales that night to the Red Cross’ Sandy relief efforts. All diners have to do is dine, drink, and spend money at one (or many!) participating businesses. (via)

i know you're waiting to dump out your pocketbooks.

if you want to help, these are good organizations:

the brooklyn recovery fund (brooklyn)
tunnels to towers (staten island)
occupy sandy

the more you know

current subway map here.

the L train is still fucked. they aren't even trying to fix the G train because they think no one actually rides it.

is west chelsea fucked?

the gallery scene in west chelsea was basically part of the hudson river last week, and nymag, jerry saltz, and other people are afraid that the implications of water sogged paintings, installations, archives, and galleries might spell bad news for the whole neighborhood. how are we supposed to survive without free wine at mid-week show openings?


UPDATE: jerry saltz hasn't lost hope and neither should you!

by now you've seen the awesome nymag sandy cover

now read the behind the scenes story

big and tall

chris christie is a joke but at least he knows what a winner looks like. via.

today.

(via)

FRANKENSTORM!!!!!!!!1111111

DESPITE A MODEST CLUSTER OF OUTLYING DETERMINISTIC SOLUTIONS AND ENSEMBLE MEMBERS FROM THE VARIOUS MODELING CENTERS, THE LION'S SHARE OF GUIDANCE INDICATES THAT THE CIRCULATION ASSOCIATED WITH HURRICANE SANDY WILL PASS CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE AMPLIFYING POLAR TROUGH OVER THE EASTERN UNITED STATES TO BECOME INCORPORATED INTO A HYBRID VORTEX OVER THE MID ATLANTIC AND NORTHEAST NEXT TUESDAY. THE HIGH DEGREE OF BLOCKING FROM EASTERN NORTH AMERICA ACROSS THE ENTIRE ATLANTIC BASIN IS EXPECTED TO ALLOW THIS UNUSUAL MERGER TO TAKE PLACE, AND ONCE THE COMBINED GYRE MATERIALIZES, IT SHOULD SETTLE BACK TOWARD THE INTERIOR NORTHEAST THROUGH HALLOWEEN, INVITING PERHAPS A GHOULISH NICKNAME FOR THE CYCLONE ALONG THE LINES OF "FRANKENSTORM", AN ALLUSION TO MARY SHELLEY'S GOTHIC CREATURE OF SYNTHESIZED ELEMENTS. (via)