how to build a tunnel between denmark and germany

infrastructure!

oh my g-d.

(via)

daily ri-ri

maybe a day late but here she is partying with team germany.

Podolski x RiRi x Shweinsteiger pic.twitter.com/Sq0HDFDcaB
— Rihanna (@rihanna) July 14, 2014

The shooter aka My hitta #Gotze #Champions pic.twitter.com/bOxV5yIyj1
— Rihanna (@rihanna) July 14, 2014

thx phil!

what?!

Giant pyramid of captured German WWI helmets at Grand Central Terminal, NYC, 1918. pic.twitter.com/K2ZnJNxyTZ

— Jerry Saltz (@jerrysaltz) March 27, 2014

europe is just a bunch of lines on a map

via watch the border change over the course of history. it never has quite settled down over there.

Tina Turner is on the cover of German Vogue

and is perhaps the awesomest Vogue covergirl ever?

german diver stephan feck at the olympics

ctm

paul watson is on the lam

“Captain Watson’s attorney reports he has left Germany,” said Susan Hartland, Administrative Director of Sea Shepherd. We have reason to believe from a reliable source that, once in Costa Rica, the Japanese Government may have sought extradition of Captain Watson to Japan to answer charges related to obstructing their illegal whaling activities in the Southern Ocean Whale Sanctuary. We have no further information and are not in touch with him. We will do our best to provide more details as we learn more. We will post any new information as it arrives and we are able to confirm its validity." via


Paul Watson, the captain from Whale Wars was arrested and escaped from Germany and now no one knows where he is and the Japanese whale industry is probably looking for him so they can turn him into an oil lamp or something.

the tragic story of the earless german bunny

did you read the one about the little bunny in germany that became an overnight sensation after he was born without ears? While he was being photographed, a dumb photographer stepped on him and killed him.

Thomas Wilhelm said, "I wonder if he didn't hear the cameraman coming." ctm.

the poor douchebag who poored beer on german chancellor angela merkel

ive got a nazi joke on the tip of my tongue here, someone help me out. via.

RIP: Heidi The Crosseyed Opossum

"This week Heidi the cross-eyed opossum was put to sleep at Germany's Leipzig zoo. Heidi was three and a half and had been listless and unable to move for weeks."

Third Time's the Charm!

Get ready for WWIII!!!!  I'll give you one guess as to whom it might start with.  Give up?  It's the Germans...again.

Germans are scared that if the European Central Bank starts printing more money to keep Greece solvent, they'll be unable to resist their old Nazi habits.  Following WWI, the German Central Bank began printing extra money to pay domestic debts and reparations, and many Germans believe the resulting hyperinflation allowed the Nazi Party to seize power.  Poland's Finance Minister is shaking in his wooden shoes (Polish people wear wooden shoes right?) saying that a collapse of the Euro Zone and the European Union could lead to widespread political instability and war in 10-20 years.

Not helping matters is Silvio Berlusconi who referred to German Chancellor Angela Merkel as an "unfuckable lard-ass".  that.is.an.actual.quote.  Honestly I've gotta say, after being called that I'm not so sure I would blame her if she became a lady Hitler.

Anyway, you should probably start stockpiling guns, composting your poop, and turn your bathtub into a tilapia farm/hydroponic garden because if the Mayan apocalypse doesn't come in 2012, the German's will be waiting in 2021.  Either way, we're all screwed.

[via]

somebody needs to keep an eye on this kid

Police in Berlin are asking for help in identifying a mysterious English-speaking 17-year-old who suddenly showed up at City Hall claiming he had been living in the woods for the past five years.

The teenager, who gave authorities his date of birth and a name — Ray — says he and his father entered the forest after his mother died, and have been living in tents and huts ever since.

He told police he began his trek back to civilization after his father passed away two weeks ago.

“Ray” says he doesn’t know his parents names, nor can recall anything about his life before the forest. “He can speak English very well, fluently in fact, but only speaks basic German,” said Berlin police spokesman Klaus Schubert. “It might be possible that he comes from Britain because he’s speaking English very fluently.”

A continent-wide appeal for assistance has been issued through Interpol after his description failed to match any missing persons report dating back to the late 1990s.

He is said to be physically fit, but may have experienced psychological trauma resulting in memory loss.
via

Yvonne : FREEDOM FIGHTER

Yvonne is a dairy cow who executed a stunning escape from her electrified pen in Germany just days before she was to be turned into hamburger.

She has been on the lamb living secretly in the woods near her town eating grass and evading capture at every turn. Helicopters, infrared cameras, and a sexy bull named Ernst have all been employed to bring Yvonne back into custody, but now that she has tasted freedom, she will never go back to the farm.

full disclosure: this picture is actually of Yvonne's sister Waltraut, who has also been used at bait. yvonne hasn't been seen in DAYS

via

underground city in a german field

Behold the miniature cities of EVOL. The German street artist has been known for wielding his stencils to erect illusionistic cities out of wall segments and street furniture. For his latest installation, EVOL has excavated a field in Hamburg, Germany and installed a small-scale subterranean city. via

dunder succumbs to the inexorable passage of time

via

dang!

check out this german airport model!

Knut is dead :(

Tragedy in Germany today. While around 700 zoo attendees watched, Knut collapsed and died today at the young age of four. Cause of death is unclear. Cause of polar bear puppy cuteness, TBD. Rest in Peace Knut. via.

PANGAEA!

the earthquake's got me thinking about another one of my favorite natural phenomena, pAnGaEa!! liz didn't know what it was, so i just was explaining it to her. she still doesn't get it, jicyww. while i was sending her links, i stumbled across this diagram of the earth during the triassic period, when we were between pangaea and now-times.

the bottom half of the world was called gondwanaland, which i recognized as also the name of heidi the cross-eyed opossum's house! which is getting an UP! grade. check it out. she's going to be so happy there.

not sure how this got past me...

...but take a look at this gd opossum! her name is heidi, she lives in germany, she has a facebook page, and she is cRoSsEyEd!!!!!!111


there are internet rumors that she might be "performing" at the oscars. i've got MY eyes crossed for that!