14 October 2010

sux2b carl paladino.

this story really got me gigglin' during my morning commute:

a couple of days ago, republican gubernatorial candidate and noted kook, carl paladino, apologized for being a gaycist prick while delivering a speech written by sassy rabbi, yehuda levin, over the weekend.

so, yesterday, the rabbi expressed his disappointment in paladino, in a public speech in front of st patrick's cathedral on fifth avenue. this guy is a real hoot:

first, he said that paladino "folded like a cheap camera"?!!! i'm fairly sure that's not how that saying goes, and i just love a good mixed metaphor, so i had to read on.

next, he told this cartoonish story about learning of paladino's camera-folding:
“I was in the middle of eating a kosher pastrami sandwich,” Rabbi Levin said. "While I was eating it, they come running and they say, ‘Paladino became gay!’ I said, ‘What?’ And then they showed me the statement. I almost choked on the kosher salami.”
CTM! can you imagine?!?! paladino pointed to the fact that his nephew is gay as a point of regret in making insensitive comments, to which the rabbi responded:
“He discovered now he has a gay nephew?” the rabbi said. “Mazel tov! We’ll make a coming-out party!”
mazel tov, indeed. no matter how *tiCkeD* the rabbi is, he made it clear that his old gay-bashing friend is welcome back to hateville any time he likes:
“Carl, we’ll leave the light on for you,” he said. “Come back, Carl.”
shew! i hope carl has learned his lesson about pandering to the radical beliefs of a specific demographic in order to secure their votes. looks like cuomo's picked up a couple more points in the polls. brb folding like a cheap crate of bananas.

3 comments:

joel said...

i thought for sure thomas wilhelm wrote this.

kylie said...

i was channeling him. and you should also take a look at gawker's take. i read it after i wrote mine, and it's almost the exact same.

joel said...

2pz has more snark and sass than gawker could ever hope to have.

and they stink!

 
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