i wish toonces would drive your ass off a cliff right about now.

did you know that victoria jackson, former SNL cast member, is a bat-shit crazy fundamentalist republican/tea bagger? because she is! ...wait...right? is this serious? i'm pretty sure this is serious.

i am emBEARassed to say that she attended auburn university for one year. she did not graduate, which is obviously the mistake that sent her life into a downward spiral. plus she's from florida, so she basically had no chance from the start. anyway, here is her never-ending song entitled "there's a communist living in the white house."





and i just couldn't resist this one:



[via]

At the famous Gruhn Guitars in Nashville, they let me play through Buddy Holly's 1958 Magnatone amplifier. I am happy. @conanobrien

calm down, calm down... BOOM!!!

pay no attention to the pelican covered with oil

it seems BP has been doing all it can to prevent reporters from gaining access to the most devastated areas of coastal louisiana, and local and federal officials are helping them do so.


[via] [nytimes]

sir lancelot! git dayown!

Following through on plans announced Wednesday, Rep. Anthony Weiner held a press conference Thursday with two live mohair goats on Capitol Hill. Weiner used the goats to highlight how he wants to cut an outdated federal subsidy — but the congressman himself got nicked on the hand by a sharp-horned goat named Lancelot. (via)

thx g!

cognitive dissonance.

The Fox and the Grapes by Aesop.

When the fox fails to reach the grapes, he decides he doesn't want them anyway, an example of adaptive preference formation designed to reduce cognitive dissonance.

gchatz w/ john

john: what should my ESPN soccer bracket name be?
joel already took the good one
me: how about
sally lightfoot?
john: i'm not using sally lightfoot
my god
me: ctm

Suck it USC

UPDATE - Sorry I didn't scroll down far enough before I posted.

This is what happens when you cheat.

bonnaroo's this weekend.

are you going? i can't believe this is the 8th year! it seems like just yesterday when the entire southeast was paralyzed by traffic from the first bonnaroo.

anyway, all songs considered did this preview this week. there's also a free sampler available for download. and npr will be broadcasting live friday through sunday.

test your focus.

nytimes interactive feature that tests your focus while multitasking.

what's that you say?

you don't care about stupid soccer? me neither. but the truth is, we're all going to be hearing about it for the next few weeks. so you might as well make the best of it.

after being invited to join mizmargauxxx's bracket group on espn, i thought it could be fun to have a little 2Pz readers competish. it is unclear what the prize will be, but i can guarantee one thing: it will be lavish!

so click right here, and set up a bracket. just make sure you join the group called 2Pz LOLsoccer after doing so. oh, and you only have about 12 hours left. sorry!

good luck! you'll need it.

Sucks to be you, Lane Kiffin

So Reggie Bush (Mr. Kim Kardashian) and coach Pete Carroll cheated while they were at USC. The NCAA concluded there investigation and have handed down a sanction for the west coast powerhouse. USC is ineligible for post-season bowl games for two years. Bush and Carroll have both moved on to be millionares in the NFL. Kiffin, as you know, ditched the V.O.L.S. to take Carroll's job. Now he's screwed. HA!