18 June 2009

gulp.

A Continental Airlines transatlantic flight was forced to make an emergency landing at Newark airport yesterday after its pilot died in the cockpit mid-flight. (telegraph)

clap. clap. clap-clap-clap. clap-clap-clap-clap!


pug fight!

thx g.

NeRd aLeRt!


architecture firm that designed tallest building in the US now designs glass pokey outey boxes for said build so visitors will buy another ticket and come back. attempts to replicate experience of grand canyon skywalk and palms hotel ghostbar.

do you guys like my haircute?

more like BONE-as brothers!

BROOKLYN, N.Y., June 14 (UPI) -- A hardcore pornographic movie was accidentally screened at PS 17 in Brooklyn, N.Y., school officials said.

Students from five classes at the school had assembled to watch "Camp Rock," a Disney Channel movie starring the Jonas Brothers, but after a teacher powered up the DVD player and walked away to get the Disney movie, a skin flick began to play, the New York Post reported Sunday.

The students, some as young as 5-years-old, were exposed to 45-seconds of sex acts in the incident late last month, the newspaper said. (upi)

more of this.


who taught these kids how to emote like that?

zoo tour, part five

ELEPHANTS!!! the 9th wonder of the universe.
this was another highlight of the already very full day. we were left hanging around outside this big zoo door while zookeeper jerry made arrangements for us to meet "the ladies." i have always had a soft spot for large grey mammals (hippos, manatees, rhinos, triceratops, etc), so i was very excited to say the least. elephants star in my favorite childhood movie and little golden book.


elephants have the longest eyelashes of any living animal. and this foxy little minx is winking at you. come here boy, give me that apple.


"yum. more fruits and vegetables please. no dont cook them. no, dont peel them. just... just put it there in my nose hole. thank you!" nom nom nom


they are big. big big big. and we had to be very careful not to pet them anywhere near the metal bars because if they leaned forward it could crush our little phalanges bones. their skin is very rough. and their eyes seem very empathetic.


i think thats a stalk of celery im giving one of the old girls. i asked if i should break it up, and the keeper was all, "no just give her the whole thing." i wanted to give it to her one piece at a time so the experience would last forever. i wish i was feeding an elephant right now. lucky for you im not feeding an elephant but writing a blog.


elephants are majestic and wise and they never forget. if kismet was an elephant he would be an asian elephant.
there is just a little more zoo tour left. thanks for indulging me.

BREAKING NEWS : rob pattinson hit by taxi

"Robert Pattinson, star of The Twilight Saga: New Moon and (currently filming) Remember Me has been hit by a taxi-cab, reports say.

Radar Online just reported the story that "he was hit by a taxi cab on Thursday while running away from hysterical fans!"

RadarOnline.com witnessed the Twilight star get clipped by a cab around noon in front of the Strand Bookstore on Broadway and 12th Street." (examiner)


don't worry...he's OK! but let this be a lesson to all of you crazy b's out there in washington square park (suzanne, i'm looking at you.). it is best to love rob from a safe distance that's comfortable for everyone. we dodged a big bullet today. we could've lost him. and what would starla have to live for then?

Be MoRe CaReFuL, pLz. k thx bye.

thx starla for the update.

octogenarian sex tales!

Anderson Cooper's mom's sexy erotica book is coming out next week! Gloria Vanderbilt is 85 and not taking any crap from anybody when it comes to, oh, kinky food sex fantasies. The New York Times is scandalized! Details! Vanderbilt is a famous romancer of famous men and generally could be described as "Fabbbbbbulous"—fabbbbbulous enough to write Obsession: An Erotic Tale at age 85, and make the New York Times blush. (gawker)

thx g.

you can all just go ahead...

...and put your dreams in the trashcan. oregon's closed.

Once upon a time every organic chef and computer programmer in California wanted to sell their little bungalow in Fresno and head for the bracing mountain air of Oregon, where they would build themselves a somewhat larger bungalow, where they would raise their families and dogs in close proximity to coffee shops and bike trails and lots of Northern Lights weed and be yuppies with enough of a ruralist edge to be forgiven for everything. Well guess what? Those Californians are still flooding into Oregon ready to start anew, but there are no jobs for anybody. (gawker)

thx g.

zoo tour, part four

UPDATE!!!
joel holds prada

GATORS!
after my thrilling experiences with all those other animals i told you 'bout i couldnt even begin to imagine what my zookeeper tour guide had in store for me next. i figured it out when we walked through a door that said reptile husbandry. gulp.


this is the outdoor gator. he is like 13 feet long. jerry hopped down there and fed him meat on a stick while entertaining the crowd with anecdotes and factoids. gator munched the stick and bent it. nom nom nom.


there were two giant inside gators. dont be fooled though, these are NOT albinos. just very very pale. neither one of them were hungry and wouldnt eat the meat pieces because they were too cold. someone left the air conditioner on for too long. wah waaaahhhh. look at all those losers on the other side of the glass with no zookeeper friends. LOSERS. be jelly.


this one never took his oily scheming eye off of me the entire time we were there. you can see from the photo that there was a clear lighted path between him and me... with nothing but an open gate to stop him from tearing into my sunburnt flesh. luckily he was too cold to move.


i named this one prada. he was small enough for me to hold, and boy did i. i wasnt surprised that alligators are pretty chilly, but i was surprised that this one seemed pretty fragile underneath. the top is definitely scaly, but i could feel bones and organs and everything. super cool.



next time on my behind the scenes zoo tour...a recreation of the most heartbreaking scene commited to celluloid. makes me cry no matter what.

"dueno o deuna"

ricky martin told this puerto rican magazine that his heart could belong to a man or a woman. at least i think thats what he said. what a dyke.

oh NO!

Hillary Clinton fell walking into the white house and hurt her elbow. its doubly sad because she was supposed to meet angelina jolie today to thank her for saving so many unwanted babies and making the world a better place with her killer films like lara croft tomb raider and mr and mrs smith and the like. now shes got to have silly surgery instead.

i hope she recovers, and that she will be back to shaking hands with celebs and world leaders soon.

new fever ray video


not creepy at all.

o(mg)hio


one of the most emBEARassing things i've ever seen.

thx joey!

not myspace!

The latest step in Rupert Murdoch’s effort to turn around the fortunes of his digital businesses came Tuesday in the form of hefty layoffs at MySpace.

MySpace, the social networking site owned by News Corporation, the media conglomerate controlled by Mr. Murdoch, said it was laying off roughly 400 employees, or nearly 30 percent of its staff. After the layoffs, MySpace will have about 1,000 workers.

The company said the layoffs were an attempt to return to a “start-up culture.” (nytimes)

my 2 cents.

so, you guys may or may not have been hearing about bing.com, microsoft's new search engine. in general, i believe that google is the best at everything. and microsoft is completely inept, and incapable of innovation. but then i accidentally ended up on bing's search page, and started playing. of course, i was skeptical at first, but it turns out bing is kind of cool.

2 reviews:
Microsoft Bing: Much better than expected
Hands On With Microsoft’s New Search Engine: Bing, But No Boom

a few notable features:
. the bird's eye view maps are just way too much. you can kill hours playing with this.
. if you hover over search results, a text excerpt pops up
. travel searches integrate farecast.com, a multi-airline search with price predictor, advising whether you should buy or wait
. in video searches, bing results just look better, and play when you hover over them
. you get to play fun games with photos on the homepage!

n-e-wayz, it's probably not quite google-replacement-worthy, but it's definitely interesting to check out.

like cheesy peanut butter

i was watching a trailer for cameron diaz' new feature film release, my sisters keeper. i decided that i wasnt interested in the movie because it seemes like some sort of mushy heartwarming kid with cancer snoozefest, but i thought i remembered almost reading it in a bookclub... so i googled.


SPOILER ALERT:
if it is at all faithful to the source material, this movie is NOT what it seems. according to the book synopsis, this book is about a highly disfunctional family and involves genetic engineering, legal family drama, insensitive parenting, and untimely death. but not the cancer girl.

it reminded me of these really clever trailer twisters where some fancy editing and familiar patterns reimagine the content of the film. dont watch my sisters keeper, but watch these.

give it a rest, PETA.

WASHINGTON - The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the flyswatter in chief to try taking a more humane attitude the next time he's bedeviled by a fly in the White House.

PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.

"We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. "We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals." (msnbc)

jicyww...


...what i'm doing tonight...

patty, i found a wife for you.

Authorities said a woman obsessed with rabbits is in trouble again: In violation of probation terms, she was found holed up in a hotel room with more than a dozen rabbits. Officers said they had to break into the room Tuesday and found eight adults and half a dozen baby rabbits, one dead. The police say some were caged, some roaming. (AP)

thx erin!

no reason

kittenz inspired by kittenz

meowr.

daily ri ri

this is the daily ri-ri i was supposed to give you three days ago when rihanna was in new york canoodling with her beau at the year one premiere afterparty. h3d right?

hey, you two.

this is a(n enjoyable) test.

 
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