30 July 2013

nicki minaj's new perfume bottle

i think this would look so good on thomas wilhelm's cabinet of curiosities.

reminds me of this.

oh wow, christina aguilera is skinny again



i didn't know....you could DO that.

with raccoons....


gchatz w/ thomas wilhelm

John: oh, sorry, i have to change the subject really quickly. speaking of serial killers
me: k
John: i was walking down broadway
and this guy comes up behind me singing opera or something
just sort of shrieking
so i avoided him and let him pass
wanted to keep my distance
that was probably at like 20th and broadway
then i was on 5th at about 24th
and i see this tall thin well dressed black guy
and i like the shirt he's wearing
so i sort of turn to get a better look as he passed me
and i hear someone say "i saw you look BEEEYUUUUTCH!"
me: omg ctmol
John: and for a moment i just keep walking looking forward
not sure what just happened
so i turn around, and i'm just sure it's going to be someone i know
and it's that weird guy who was shrieking
and my mouth falls open a little, and i say, "i just liked his shirt!"
me: omg you engaged?
John: and he goes, "it's okay, we ALLL look."
and we went on our merry little ways
me: aaaaahahahahha
John: it was so fucking weird

de Blasio update!

thanks to anthony weiner's stupidity, 2Pz-endorsed mayoral candidate, 2Pz twitter follower, and dreamboat bill de blasio is now polling second, behind christine quinn, who is probably our second choice.

my name is kylie, and i am a fan of the new robin thicke album.

i didn't want to like it, but despite the substitution of a number for 4 a word at every opporunity, i do. i like "give it 2 u". i like "go stupid 4 u". i like "ain't no hat 4 that".

i like them all!

the ladies of OITNB

couple of features on the internet of some of the actresses from 2Pz new fave show:

click here to chat with laverne cox, who we saw in madison square park on friday and who plays sophia.

click here to get to know taryn manning, who plays pennsyltucky, and apparently only poses for sexy pixies otherwise.

tell us in the comments who your favorite character is. mine's crazy eyes.

29 July 2013

more Taystee, better

The new best show, Orange is the New Black, just announced that my favorite character Taystee is going to be promoted from recurring character to featured character. TWERK

HOMELAND season 3 is still a thing and don't forget

what's for lunch?

barry and hillz are having salads.

homeland teaser

it's coming.

25 July 2013

corgi in a baby pool

you happy? you like it? bless you!! thx ms.dangles

frozen beer foam

now available at Dodger stadium to keep your beer cold. hopefully soon to be available wherever beer is sold. thx kirby

throwing shade is now a video podcast on funny or die

selena gomez concert tonight with starla

something that happened today

a train derailment in spain

24 July 2013

what are you doing tonight?

we'll let you know how it is!

sandra bullock took this picture minutes after the trailer for GRAVITY ended

this is a real picture, by the way


see the video here.

music minute with Ms. Dangles


this is the new "gravity" trailer.

i just pooped. my pants.

this is not a beautiful dream, it's real life.

ktv and matt found these under their shop. like santa claus himself came down from heaven five months early to give them the greatest present anyone could ever receive.


(PS - they're available for adoption. bella swan gets a sister?)

22 July 2013

raccoons can be jerks sometimes.

here's a video of google partner, kevin rose, who catches a raccoon attacking his puppy (whose name is toaster), and drops some southern justice on him.

thomas wilhelm's spirit animal

the titan arum, nicknamed the "corpse flower", is huge, and it STINKS. it also only blooms every few years, and one's going to town in the united states botanic garden in DC right now.

hunger games 2 catching fire trailer

19 July 2013

18 July 2013

music minute with Ms. Dangles

nErD aLeRt!

this is incredible.

nErD aLeRt!

look at this awesome building in birmingham, englad that i never knew about. it's a selfridge's department store, whatever that is. doesn't it look like a despicable me character?
what IS that?!!?

2Pz trendsetters trend piece : the five fund

i was just listening to the latest episode of all songs considered, and steven told me about a thing he does called "the five fund". here's what you do:

every time you get a $5 bill, you put it in a coffee can (or whatever) for saving. when i told joel about it, he asked "then what?", to which i replied "wait for a rainy day!!"

i'm going to try this, and you should too. let's talk in december and see how much money we're swimming in.

2Pz trendsetters trend piece : candy crush saga

or as it is called, adorably, by thomas wilhelm: CANDY CRUNCH.

candy crunch is this summer's hottest trend, and if you're not playing it, then you are a complete nobody. please read this informative piece about its development and inner workings. here are some highlights:
"Sometimes I just go into the bathroom and sit on the seat and play," a colleague confessed, describing some quality in-office downtime. "I don't tell many people that . . ."
When it comes to the sound effects, we have a fun story there—you know the "Delicious" the voice [that happens when a player is on a hot streak or wins the game]? Originally it was a funny French accent, but that wasn't appreciated, so we changed it and we did kind of a petition on the website to have different people trying it and found this rather deep voice that felt really good in the concept.
We try to make sure from the beginning with Candy Crush that you should be able to complete the game without having to pay. Of the people on the last level (currently level 385) 70% of those players haven't paid to get there.
In Hong Kong, one of every seven people in the country plays the game on the daily basis.


 Faith:  omg kirsten dunst
how did that snaggletooth get famous
 me:  who knows

buttercup couldnt make it up the steps

thatz okay though. looking real good buttercup.

have you ever wondered what it would look like if an panda that lives in atlanta gave birth to twins

then you've got to see this crazy shit.

our blessed mother TINA TURNER is getting gay married to her boyfriend

congrats tina.

we wish you all the happiness in the world. sitting on a pile of money in switzerland.

15 July 2013

Buttercup, the duck with a prosthetic leg is going to march with the Peabody ducks on Wednesday

apparently Buttercup is from Memphis anyway, who knew? quack quack quack

orange is the new black is awesome

Ms. Dangles and I watched the first few episodes this weekend without any expectations, and we both really liked it! Based on a real (unbelievable) story, this new Netflix Original series from Jenji Kohan (Weeds) mixes some prison gags with really fun supporting characters and a strong enough emotional center to make you want to keep watching. So consider this a recommendation and treat yourself to some new original programming.

Zaha's first NYC building

she designed this swoopy apartment building for Related next door to the high line (natch) in west chelsea.

RIP Finn

Melissa:  JOEL
 Melissa:  that glee dude is dead
 me:  i know
 Melissa:  well
what happened?
where is my 2pz report?
does no one care ab glee anymore? should i have moved on already?
 me:  you know
i watched every episode of season 1-3
and didnt even turn on season 4
i feel like i just got tired of it
but not the old music
i still like that
 me:  it is so sad that he is dead
but i dont think that 2pz can really have anything to add other than that

14 July 2013





11 July 2013

say hello to Binti, the newest and most beautiful member of the Memphis Zoo

The Memphis Zoo has announced its newest edition, Binti, a 15-year-old female hippopotamus. She joined the exhibit’s other resident Splish, a 25-year-old female hippo, early Wednesday morning.
Binti is Swahili for daughter or young lady. Binti follows a long line of hippos at the zoo, which has housed hippos since 1914, the year Splish’s grandfather arrived at the zoo from Hamburg, Germany.

sometimes things look better in scaffolding.

Monday night marked the debut of 488 glowing lamps that now line America's most famous obelisk. Their origin actually dates back to the 1990s, when Michael Graves was commissioned to design a curtain-like scrim for the monument during the structure's previous renovation. That design is being used again during current renovations, a look that stands out especially in daylight. The lamps, activated by sensors, light up from behind the scrim. (via)
"it's like a everyday 4th of july."

10 July 2013

this puppy just made a terrible mistake

(going to staten island)

these white ladies are crackin my shit up

leave dreamgirls alone white ladies. not for you. click the link to view a gallery of white ladies who didn't get the memo.

ohaye new boat friend. want to share my snack pack?

thx melissa


A Central Texas resident Sarah Slamen brought down the hammer of citizen justice on the Senate Health and Human Services Committee's anti-choice members with an excoriation for the ages — until she was unceremoniously shut down by Chairwoman Jane Nelson (R) mid-speech, and then dragged away by four DPS Troopers. (via)

bubba watson's hover cart

sure, why not?

on your list of things to do today should be "listen to ciara's new album"

work! work! work! work! work! work! work!

09 July 2013

starla's dozen

could THIS be the song of the summer? also from robin thicke, but this time with kendrick "cutest little bunny rabbit" lamar.

i know what you're thinking: "what does starla think?"
Charlotte: i thought it sounded like a Britney spears song till he started talking about dick. offensive! i like it.
and for the record
i doubt robin has a big one

mother wayne is my spirit animal

08 July 2013

what chris pratt looks like right now.

got all muscly-armed for a movie role.

retroactive reincarnation

today, it is so blazing hot outside that all of our air conditioners at work keep trippin' the breakerz (industry vernacular) and its one thousand degrees in my office and i died. i almost lived, but then the ambulance coming to save me ran over my body. anyway, don't worry, because i have been retroactively reincarnated to the date of may 3rd, when i came back as this tiny deer at the queens zoo.

my name is teacup tori, what's yours!?

music minute with ms. dangles

CHVRCHES - GUN // Director's cut from ▶ ▶PEN$ACOLA▶ ▶ on Vimeo.

not thrilled about this year's t-shirt design



i'm not afraid to tell you that i'm really looking forward to eating popcorn, drinking a cherry icee, and watching this movie at williamsburg cinemas

04 July 2013

song of the summer

the video is nsfw but the song will rule your summer. it's the bessssst

03 July 2013

a mayoral platform i can get behind

the preferred 2pz mayoral candidate knock it out of the park again:

two words: cat park.

do you see anyone you know in this sexycool partypic?

gayletter pic from the everybooty pride party at BAM

it happened in tennessee

you'll never guess what happens next

01 July 2013

Ciara - I'm Out (ft. Nicki Minaj)

oh my gawd. i thought i was going to like it and then i really did.

they're coming for you

do you need help getting ready for the holiday weekend?


RIP cicadas

the cicadapocalypse is over and i didn't even see or hear one. see you in 17 years cicadas.

the supermodel time fears

naomi campbell walked in the versace couture runway show last night looking like a teenager.

 me:  NAOMI
 me:  legs legs legs
 Michael:  NAOMI refuses to age
time knows it will get hit if it comes anywhere near her
 me:  hahahahahaha
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