31 August 2012

Beyonce says, "I've had 'Shine Ya Light' by Rita Ora on repeat - no doubt you will too."

beautiful realtime wind map


san carlo alle quattro fontane

are you tired of azealia banks?

After a hit single, an EP, and a mixtape, I thought I might be burnt out on the song of the summer singer, but then I read this spin article and my enthusiasm for her new record is back up top. Check it.

marie antoinette's private theater


al gore says exactly what you would expect al gore to say

  "It's always tough to amend the constitution, and very risky to do so," he said on Current TV, which he co-founded. "But I think its time, I think our country would be stronger and better if it went according to the popular vote."

 i agree with him. count the votes, elect the president. screw swing states and electoral colleges. via.

Labor Day is on Monday, that means if the bunny rabbit sees his shadow we get 8 more weeks of summer, right?


hey starla, remember how simple things used to be

these hamsters are making me dizzy


30 August 2012

the vancouver grizzlies had their logo game on lockdown

there is a website that has all the sports teams and their logos. like, all of them. via.


werk it and twerk it

HOT SLUT OF THE DAY : this cute turtle!

this bitch swam all the way up to brooklyn from florida (smart move, turtle) and then got hooked on a fisherman's line. look how goddamn cute it is!!

we reached out to patrick halley for comment:

paul ryan smells like beef and cheese, he doesn't smell like santa.

you might've heard that vice presidential candidate paul ryan took the RNC stage last night and delivered a speech that most news outlets have fact-checked and concluded was riddled with false statements about the obama administration. today, the obama campaign has released a web ad in defense. see both.

2Pz : fair and balanced.

speaking of fair judgments, joel has determined that paul ryan is actually a chicken dressed in a man suit. you can hear the muffled clucks that are attempting to escape his lie-filled throat when he pauses for applause. fact-check THAT.

the new eric berry.

look at this dumb idea I bet going up hill is a real pain...

the vols are on the road to victory

literally, they just left. see.

richard lawson says what i've been thinking about the RNC

"You realize, watching this seething mass of people, that the secret, the economics stage show, is for us, on the outside. All the fiscal talk is for our benefit. Everyone in that room really knows what's being spoken about: Getting lazy poor people off their teat, sticking it to those gays, making sure we don't have to pay for some slut's sinful abortion. For all the cheer and cowboy hats and smiles and Christian blessings, this is an angry, aggressive group. And they are, or at least have been chosen to represent, nominally half of us. Half of us here in this country."

read the whole article here

why oh why are my arms so short?

quit licking my butt, deer.

dust the icicles off your frozen heart and enjoy this video

thx kirby


because it's friday for me!! #dontbejellybeanz

beyonce wants to know if you're going to dance

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player anderson, when beyonce asks you if you're going to dance, the answer is ALWAYS, "yes, beyonce"

what are you doing tomorrow night?

sans da'rick, oc. #dummy #whoneedshim

watch this one, too.

puppy parkour

get it. more

29 August 2012

guess what this is.

a firework.
Earlier this month, David Johnson found himself at the International Fireworks Show in Ottawa, Canada. Johnson, being a photographer, wanted to capture images of the proceedings. Being a photographer, though, he also couldn't resist tinkering a bit with the explosive images before him. When Spain's delegation began its show, Johnson decided to try an experiment: He took long exposures, then adjusted his focus -- in the middle of the shot. (via)

it's coming.

click here if you'd like to know some spooky scary deets.

one way boat ticket to chlamydia

you will never believe what happens when this canoe full of tourists paddles past a koala bear.

get 'em gurl


who is cordarrelle patterson?

good question, i'm glad you asked. Corduroy Paddington Bear is a JUCO wide reciever originally from Kansas. he is a VOL now, and after Da'Freak decided to flaunt coach Dooley's rules, Corduroy has assumed a very valuable position. We will find out on Friday (at North Cool Beans) if he is up to the challenge, but I am going to preemptively name Corduroy Paddington Bear my favorite VOL of the 2013 season. Don't let me down!

Zach Rogers said: "He's ready for the lights to come on. I can tell it from practice every day. He'll be ready to go."

i think THIS is what hannah should be for halloween


Ohio Gov. John Kasich comes out to a Black Eyed Peas song, and then quotes Black Eyed Peas lyrics. "I've got a feeling, and it's not just because I like the Black Eyed Peas, that we're going to elect a new president." (via)

2 DAYS!!

if we just stay healthy, though.

28 August 2012

what is hannah going to be for halloween?

phil WILL be one of her transgender ballerinas, or i will slit his goddamn throat. can you guys think of any other songstresses hannah looks exactly like?

thx emilube for this helpful example. and welcome back to america!

hannah performs 'you oughta know' on vh1

just kidding, it wasn't hannah, it was alanis morisette herself. guess what, she's BACK! she has a new album out which is probably just ok, but let's get excited anyway ok?!

thx kirby.


she got drunk and fell down the stairs while wearing too high heels. everyone thought she got her throat slashed because of how bloody everything was.

sleep tight.

the brant boys interviewed by interview

two of peter brant's sons were profiled in one of the magazines that he owns. interview.

did you know that peter 2 is going to bard? he wants to take acting classes. i almost made a list of all the 2pz favorites that went to bard, but then it got too long and too many of them don't like being talked about on the internet. harry, the little one, is still in high school but he lurves furniture and the court of kyoto.

are you worried people might not know you are a VOL fan while walking around brooklyn?

these are the TOMS for you.

University of Tennessee Campus Classics Collection.
(thx flim)

give money if you want to support the arts

2pz boyfriend Ms.Dangles has been working real hard on his horror drag pieces with his ANIMALS. If you have a cold, cold, heart, and you think there should be more stage blood baby squeezes and jon benet finger bangs on stage, check out the fun prizes they are offering for your donation. Give.

did you know?

did you know that "we are siamese" was performed by the knife? me neither.

omg please read this whole thing. every time i see a commercial for this show i am not ok for 30-45 minutes. are you going to watch it? i don't know if i can handle it. let's discuss.


this is happening.

3 DAYS!!!!!!

originally purblished in august 2009.

the countdown continues:

10. the pride of the southland marching band
9. smokey

8. rocky top

7. the color orange

6. eric berry

5. trash talking

lane kiffin
 derek dooley

3. tailgating!
everyone knows that half the fun of college football takes place before the players even take the field. tailgating is a mainstay of any successful gameday, and i would argue that no one does it better than the SEC. the term refers to the act of partying on or around the tailgate of a vehicle. however, this practice has evolved into a staple of college football tradition and culture.

from the grove of ole miss to the decks of the vol navy, fans have been known to wake up at all hours of the morning to get a head-start on the day's festivities. a noon kickoff means you better be outside and drinking by 8am at the latest. rules is rules, and i don't make them.

no tailgate would be complete without the phenomenon of cornhole, which has taken the world by storm over the past decade. the crisp thud of a well-worn bag on a warm fall afternoon is enough to jolt the volunteer heart right out of the past nine vacuous months of football-less-ness.

so everyone drag out the bags-and-boards, plug in the jambox, and fire up the grill, because football season arrives tomorrow, the vols take the field in 3 short days, and those natty lights aren't going to drink themselves!!!

bonus link: top 10 tailgating colleges

3 DAYS!!!!

y'all, it's almost here. if you'd like to read a hopeful take on our 2012 season prospects, try this article on for size:
Justin Hunter was the best pass-catcher on the team until his early-season knee injury in 2011. Nearly 12 months later, he's back on the field and close to 100 percent. Two-time JUCO All-American wide receiver Cordarrelle Patterson will also be reeling in catches, though he'll have to pick up the offense quicker than planned now.
Rajion Neal saw an opening at tailback and seized it. He outworked, out-practiced and out-scrimmaged Marlin Lane for the top spot. Lane was as sure a starter as any Volunteer in spring, but Neal showed the kind of fight that the Volunteers have lacked the past two seasons. Maybe he can be the spark for the running game.
The offensive line is extremely experienced and terrific at pass blocking, giving up the fewest sacks of any SEC team in 2011. The unit needs to improve its run blocking this year but should find that easier if the passing game can put up early points.
And then there's Tyler Bray. (via)

raise your paw if you're relaxed

last night i babysat dharma and it was pretty much exactly like this.


5 hours later:

2DN2PZHZTRY : thomas wilhelm's spirit animal

NEW BLOG FEATCH ALERT : today in 2Pz history!!!!

this post was made on august 28, 2011, and it is pRiCeLeSs!!!!

sonoluminescence!!!!!  so gay.

djokovic will you marry me?

during some us open warm up novak gets proposed to by a little boy and brings him out onto the court. via.

do you ever miss the previous millenium?

sounds like manslaughterer brandy does too, because her (awesome) new song will take you right back to 1998. also, SHOW US THE NOTE BRANDY!!!

i've been smashed in the face with some flowers

you boys smell nice

what the kids are listening too

not exactly nude one direction...

27 August 2012

remember jonathan brandis?

he was friends with that dolphin that could talk on seaquest. and he was really good at soccer and played on an all girls team called the ladybugs.

cat power - sun

stream the new album here.

what is kismet doing???

enjoying himself

4 DAYS!!!

i have it on good authority (the internet) that the vols have been running drills while listening to this song?

personally, i think they could've found a more upbeat song with a similar message, but i'm glad theyre as hopeful as i am. ;(

did you hear?

hurrican isaac is about to roll into new orleans on the seven year anniversary of katrina.

curiosity descent

Using an editing technique known as interpolation, redittor God22 (aka Dominic Muller) has artificially boosted the framerate of Curiosity's descent footage from four frames per second to twenty five frames per second. Also known as "tweening" (short for Inbetweening), interpolation involves rendering missing frames artificially, to give the appearance of smooth transitions between actual frames. It's still playing in real-time, it just appears much, much smoother. (via)

24 August 2012

what she order...

Isaac enters the Bahamas


nicki minaj (feat. ricky rossy and cam'rom) - i am your leader

looking for a way to tell your new co-workers that you're a vol fan?

i posted this last year, and it's still good!!

upon request, here are some gorgeous images for you to pimp your work computer desktop with. (click2enlarge)

Brunnhilde's Immolation

the shutterspeed of the camera matches the speed of rotation of the helicopter blades

7 (and 6 and 5 and 4) DAYS!!!!!!!!!

2012 update : this 2009 post doesnt make sense anymore, but just deal with it, ok? it's been edited just slightly, but not with very much effort because unlike 2009, i have a job now (thanks, barack!). please note the prescient hatred for penn state. 

gosh, i know! i have been slacking big-time on the UT-football-greatness list. to make it up to all of you, and to get us all back on schedule, ima do a 4sie today. here we go!

10. the pride of the southland marching band
9. smokey
8. rocky top

7. the color orange!!

this should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me. orange is my favorite color. just ask anything i own. like my bike.

pantone 151c = where it's at.

6. eric berry!!

good luck! you're never going to catch him!

i love eric berry so much that i named my bike after him, and she's a lady! the UT safety is the first heisman-candidate we've had since peyton manning (i'm pretty sure). i hear what they're saying, that his chances are slim. tennessee will need to have a fairly successful season, and he'll have to pull out an amazing play in every single game. pssh. like that's even hard!!

he's the fastest runner. he takes the ball whenever he wants it. he'll run right around tim teabag. and watch out if you're georgia... he'll hit you so hard! he can play any position, just ask him! and he has the cutest tweets.

just sayin'... be sure to keep your peepers on number 14. he's a show-stopper!

5. trash talkingugh. georgia is the worst. their colors are red and black, which are ugly and boring. and they can never beat tennessee. it's like, if you put adult clothes on a bunch of toddlers and sent them out onto a football field...THAT's what it's like when georgia plays.

don't even get me started on florida. they repeatedly have poor wardrobe choices, they think their quarterback is so great, and their stadium is totes UgLy!

and auburn. second-rate at just about everything. guh-ross! their mascot is "tigers" but they yell "war eagle" like it makes any sense at all. that is 1) not an acceptible greeting, 2) not your mascot, and 3) not even an animal. more like "butt eagle".

and the same goes for the rest of you.

to be fair, the SEC is the greatest conference in all of college football, and i'd rather see all of these teams win than anyone in the big 10, especially the mf-ing nittany kitty katz. me-ouch!

4. lane kiffin!!

what a dreamboat. and he loves trash talking, too! lane's been making plenty of pre-season waves. i'm actually starting to think he might be a little bit crazy... like, beyonce-crazy. and i like it.

while we're all on p's and n's, waiting to see if he backs it up, i am enjoying the ride. my approach to tennessee football tends toward belligerent confidence, and i get the impression his does too.

keep it up, lane. can't wait til saturday! fuck this guy.

23 August 2012

my new obsession with korea

Last night I watched this (netflix streaming) BBC documentary called "A State of Mind." In 2003, the film crew followed the daily lives of two young North Korean rhythmic gymnasts as they prepared for the annual MASS games, which is sort of like North Korean political theater mixed with the Hunger Games. Remember how awesome the Beijing opening ceremonies were? Its like that. North Korea is so highly secretive of what goes on inside, so it was really fascinating to get a glimpse at the daily lives of these girls and their families.
They hate Americans, they have nightly blackouts and air raid drills, they have state radio speakers installed in every apartment that can't be turned off, and only one tv channel that is also state run. Did you every read  Brave New World?

Then today, I got a little taste of South Korean insight when I read this article about the subtle social commentary embedded in the pop hit Gangnam Style. I realized that I know hardly nothing about this little Asian peninsula, but that I am definitely missing out. There is this new breed of consumer there "called Doenjangnyeo, or "soybean paste women" for their propensity to crimp on essentials so they can over-spend on conspicuous luxuries, of which coffee is, believe it or not, one of the most common." Who wants to go to koreatown for some karaoke and BBQ?

so, you never want to step foot in another uniqlo as long as you live, but you are addicted to the prices and the basic stylishness of their clothes?

good news: they are going to start selling online this fall. get your credit cards ready!

the way things are going, thomas wilhelm is never going to have to leave his apartment again!

music video thursday

major lazer (feat. amber coffman) - get free. this song has been on repeat all summer.

grimes - genesis #thisbitch

emerging r+b artist miguel performs "adorn" at PS1

what is starla saying?

i cant read lips, but i know she looks cray.

fat penguin

at the london zoo they are weighing and measuring every animal, including this chubby penguin. more here. thx flim

glitzy the gay pig

via @richjuz

also a hot slut of the day

in chloe news...

Beloved indie film actress turned beloved television actress Chloƫ Sevigny, in addition to her upcoming duties as "Shelly the Nymphomaniac" on the new mental asylum-set season of American Horror Story, is joining the cast of Portlandia for the wacky, bobo hipster-skewing IFC show's third season. She'll be playing some lady who moves in with the two leads, Fred and Carrie, and, I dunno, probably does silly stuff. There's no word on how many episodes she's going to be in, but it sounds like maybe more than one? Which is very exciting! Who doesn't like Chloƫ Sevigny? And she's a perfect fit for Portlandia. In that, y'know, she can kind of make fun of herself. Of course she's more glam indie than crunchy indie, which is the show's chief focus, but it's all kind of tangled up with each other at this point, isn't it? Anyway, point is, this is good news. (via)

8 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

originally purblished in august 2009.

omg, tomorrow is the last saturday without football for MONTHS! the countdown continues...

10. the pride of the southland band
9. smokey
8. "rocky top"

i'll tell you what, i don't even know where to start with this one. we're all familiar with the inescapable heart flutter that accompanies a good listen at this song. tennessee's unofficial fight song is regarded far-and-wide as one of the most recognizable in all of college football. it's fast pace and upbeat tempo makes the volunteer spirit soar, and nothing gets a neyland stadium crowd more excited.

legend has it that "rocky top" was written in under 10 minutes (click that....trust me) at an inn nestled in the fabled mountain town of gatlinburg in 1967. the song was first performed by the osborne brothers, but peaked in popularity in 1970, when lynn anderson's version reached number 17 on the music charts! since then, "rocky top" has been cemented as a staple of southern tradition.

of course, my favorite version of the song is performed by the pride of the southland marching band, and they'll use just about any excuse to belt it out! you're sure to hear it after every touchdown, and during 'slow' games, i've even seen it played to celebrate the other team getting a penalty. i once heard an anecdote that then-florida-coach and notorious vol-hater steve spurrier was so vocal about his disdain for the tune, that the band made a special effort to play it as often as possible when visiting "the swamp", averaging 45 plays per florida-away-game!

8 minutes of big orange pageantry!

i think we can all agree that you haven't lived until you've experienced the rush of anticipation leading up to the moment you finally get to yell out that trademark "woo!" so, everyone get your stompin' shoes polished and ready, because we'll be hollerin' again in just 8 short days!!

bonus links:
dolly parton singing "rocky top"
100 songs of the south

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