28 June 2013

UPDATE: Tennessee Treasures

Memphis, TN - A kind reader (my sister) alerted me to another reason why you never have to leave Tennessee, the World Overcomers Outreach Ministries Church Lady of Liberation! You won't find a back room in our video store, that filth is better left to the sin cities. AKA New York City! If you love g-d, but you hate queers, women's reproductive rights, and religions other than your own, then Memphis has the statue for you. Lady of Liberation stands in at 72 feet tall, holds aloft a gold cross instead of a torch of enlightenment, and carries the Ten Commandments. Also, a single tear has been shed from her eye. She is probably crying because bitch that gold cross is heavy and it is HOT outside! Someone get that gurl a sno cone! She is at the corner of Winchester and Kirby if you want to take a look. thx melissa!

27 June 2013

you're GAY like a rainbow

carishma is thomas wilhelm's spirit animal

andrew sullivan on gay rights

"To those who are often tempted to write off America's ability to perfect its union still further, to lead the world in the clarity of its moral and political discourse, and to resist the pull of fundamentalism when it conflicts with human dignity, let me just say: I believe. Because I have seen." (via)

TENNESSEE - travel the world without leaving the state

Have you ever wanted to travel abroad, but you just don't have the time or money or you're just not sure how to tip in a foreign country? Well, you're in luck! Most of the best parts of the rest of the world are probably already in your backyard.

Memphis, TN - Have you ever been to Egypt? Me neither. Who wants to deal with all that sand? I mean I like hummus, but not that much. Good thing there is a pyramid in Memphis! The "Great American Pyramid" is the 6th largest pyramid in the world, behind 4 in Egypt and 1 in Las Vegas. You can't gamble, or search for buried treasure in Tennessee's pyramid, but soon you will be able to bargain hunt! The building, built in 1991 is currently undergoing a multi-million dollar renovation to become a Bass Pro Shops Megastore complete with a shooting range, archery range, some hotel rooms, a laser arcade, bowling alley, and a restaurant. Many people consider the Pyramid to be haunted, not because of some dead Phaoroh's curse, but by the legacy of malfeasance and fraud that surrounds the construction and management of the former arena. See it for yourself, if you DARE!!! PS. See if you can find the fiberglass replica Ramses II statue that the city moved to the University of Memphis campus because Bass Pro didn't want it.

Paris, TN - Who wants to fly all the way to stinky old France when you can take a slow scenic drive to Paris, only 20 minutes south of Kentucky Lake. In this, the first town incorporated in West Tennessee, you will find a 1/17 scale replica of the Eiffel Tower, assembled by students from Christian Brothers University and dedicated in 1993. After the wood structure started to rot, a local businessman paid to have the tower re-built in steel. Can you even believe it? If you plan right, you might find yourself in the middle of the "World's Biggest Fish Fry" which takes place annually in Paris during the last full week of April.

Nashville, TN - In 1897, just a few thousand years after the Parthenon was completed in Athens, Greece, Nashville, the so called "Athens of the South" (no, not that Athens, or that Athens, or that Athens) celebrated the 100th birthday of Tennessee by building a full scale Parthenon of their very own, even though they missed the actual Centennial by one year (details..). If you're a movie buff, you may recognize the building as the backdrop of an important scene in Nashville, a movie directed by Robert Altman. I fell asleep during that part but maybe you caught it. A couple decades later Nashvillians decided to keep their Parthenon forever, and re-built it out of concrete. Don't miss the Athena statue inside!

Nashville, TN - If you like French things, and you like Nashville things, you're going to love this. Some rich asshole built himself an exact replica of a palace originally built in France in 1724.  He is so rich even filled his fake French house with real French art. If for some reason you accidentally find yourself in Paris, that jerk's collection is on display right now in the Musee d'Orsay. Just kidding, why would you be in Paris, when there is an Eiffel tower a few hundred miles away. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Can you think of any other fake old things in Tennessee? Does your hometown have any fake old things? Let me know in the comments. Happy travels!

rick perry being a dick

that is some ballsy bullshit right there.

also, click here to watch the dramatic end to wendy davis' filibuster two nights ago. it's very exciting.

get psyched also

all of the sports are over 'cept tenny. so it's time to get excited about footvol

who's coming with me?

get psyched

the new jay-z album magna carta holy grail  comes out next week. here's an early leak that you've probs already heard.



old timey UT

knoxville & the university of tennessee in the jazz age.

26 June 2013

mi llamo kylie y este es mi DREAM BEAR.

i cant get this bear video to embed BUT YOU HAVE TO CLICK IT RIGHT NOW!!!

(his hands at 2:14 are proof that it's DJV in a bear suit.)

second round bloodbath at wimbledon today.

rafa nadal lost in the first round, and we are getting slapped in the mouth with a few more shockers today:

sharapova: out.
isner: out (injury).
the guy who beat nadal: out (injury).
#2 azaranka : out (injury).
tsonga: out (injury).
wozniacki: out.

and in the most upsetting news of the day:


i guess the grass was pretty slippery.


Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard resigned Wednesday after the Australian Labor Party voted her out of its leadership.
She had called for the vote herself after months of inner-party friction ahead of a general election due in September.
Her rival, former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, takes her place as party leader, after winning the internal ballot in a 57-45 vote, according to an ALP spokesman. (via)
whoy is thyis hyippenning?!?!

this movie is provocative and troubling


ruled unconstitutional. prop 8 ruling to follow.

keep up with this live blog.

mother of abortions.

read about the left's new political superhero, wendy davis.


25 June 2013

no tea no shade, WERK WERK WERK WERK WERK

BLACK (bear) OUT!!!!

this cute and cuddly little black bear crawled into the Knoxville zoo and wandered around for a while. i'm not exactly sure what happened after that. where did the bear go? via

your daily nightmare

did you know 2Pz is a horror blog now?
When entomologist and bee removal expert Jonathan Simkins was alerted to the presence of a larger-than-average yellow jacket wasp nest on privately-owned hunting ground in Central Florida, he expected to have his work cut out for him.
But he certainly never expected to find himself battling to the death against the Mother of All Wasp Nests.
"I have never seen a nest this large in my entire life," Simkins told WFLA. "This is the prehistoric nest from the dinosaur ages."
An everyday nest, Simkins says, might contain anywhere between 1,000 to 5,000 insects. The Jurassic nest, by comparison, may have contained "more than a million."
Simkins set out to eliminate the six-by-eight-foot beast, only to find himself being attacked by countless worker wasps.
"I have to be honest with you, I was terrified at one point," he told the local NBC affiliate, "and there were several times that I had to pull out and get a breather. My heart rate was racing, I had hundreds of them on my veil." (via)
thousands of queens.

drake & lebron : ceeeeeeYUTE!

thx phil!

24 June 2013

the conjuring (clap clap!)

my neighbor pete told me that this movie was so scary it got an R rating with no sex, nudity, or gore. and when the producers asked what they could take out to get it down to PG-13 they were told "nothing." (because every part of it is so terrifying.)

who's coming with me?


RED (panda) ALERT!!

UPDATE: RUSTY WAS RESCUED!! thx for the tip mom!
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
rusty the red panda is missing
from the national zoo!

have you seen this red panda?


An ancient statue made as an offering to Osiris, the Egyptian god of death, that is currently housed at the Manchester Museum in England has suddenly started spinning inside its closed display case — and no one seems to know why.
A time-lapse video released by the museum shows the 4000-year-old relic of Neb-Senu slowly turning around inside its case without any apparent assistance from the outside world.
Found in a mummy's tomb some 80 years ago, the statue has been kept encased at the museum ever since.
Its current caretaker, Campbell Price, was the first one to notice the strange phenomenon, and says he first realized something was off when he found the statue askew, reset it, and then found it askew again the following day.
"In Ancient Egypt they believed that if the mummy is destroyed then the statuette can act as an alternative vessel for the spirit," Price, and Egyptologist by trade, told the Manchester Evening News. "Maybe that is what is causing the movement." (via)

wimbledon has begun, and some of the ladies are serving up some #SHADE

y'all probs heard about serena's unflattering rolling stone interview, in which she ALLEGEDLY did a little bit of victim-blaming re: the steubenville rape case. but that's small potatoes in comparison to some shit-talking she did about an unnamed (maria sharapova) fellow competitor:
"There are people who live, breathe and dress tennis. I mean, seriously, give it a rest." Serena exits the car and the conversation moves on to a top-five player who is now in love. "She begins every interview with 'I'm so happy. I'm so lucky' – it's so boring," says Serena in a loud voice. "She's still not going to be invited to the cool parties. And, hey, if she wants to be with the guy with a black heart, go for it." (An educated guess is she's talking about Sharapova, who is now dating Grigor Dimitrov, one of Serena's rumored exes.) 
in the words of joel: "OOOooohhhhHHhHhhh GURRRLLLLL." sharapova took a moment to respond when she told reporters:
"Obviously I have a tremendous amount of respect for Serena and what she's achieved on the court," Sharapova said. "If she wants to talk about something personal, maybe she should talk about her relationship and her boyfriend that was married and is getting a divorce and has kids. Talk about other things, but not draw attention to other things. She has so much in her life, many positives, and I think that's what it should be about." 
advantage: SHARAPOVA!!

but THEN, it seems, serena remembered that she is a lady, or she got scared that maria might have some more things to say:
But even though Williams never acknowledged it was Sharapova she was talking about, Williams said she was "told of the comments," and chased Sharapova down at a party to apologize, probably for fear of another Russian left hook. She chose to squash the budding tennis beef rather than respond. "I made it a point to reach out to Maria as well, because she was inadvertently brought into the situation by assumptions made by the reporter," she said. "I personally talked to Maria at the player party, incidentally. I said: 'Look, I want to personally apologize to you if you are offended by being brought into my situation. I want to take this moment to just pour myself, be open, say I’m very sorry for this whole situation.'"
jicydak, serena has beaten sharapova in their last 12 meetings, and the last time maria won was over NINE years ago. so now you have a reason to follow the ladies' side of the bracket this wimbledon.

charlie hates dandelionz

thx ms.dangles

"cute as hell"

presenting this year's winner of the world's ugliest dog contest. only thing, not ugly at all.

21 June 2013

oh look a movie about thomas wilhelm

old queen

reasons why novak djokovic is the best tennis player

shirts off

where in the world is paula deen?

america's sweetheart paula deen is MISSING. she was supposed to be on the today show this morning to talk about those horrible accusations that she's been perpetuating southern racism by hosting slavery-themed weddings and whatnot, but she never arrived!

the latest news is that she'll be releasing a video statement soon. i hope it goes a little something like this:

it has been a dyoozy of a yayurr.

an awesome new video for an awesome three year old song

20 June 2013

2Pz mayor watch

last night, i caught some of the mayoral debate on latino issues, which took place among the democratic candidates at hunter college, and aired on NY1, so pretty legitimate. i went in a christine quinn supporter, but after giving about 45 minutes of my time to make ill-informed, personality-based judgments, i think i'm starting to be swayed by the charms of mr. bill de blasio. people keep saying he's the one we're "supposed to like", anywayz.

so, i thought a good way to jump into this race was to follow a few on twitter. i am now following @ChrisCQuinn, @BillThompsonNYC, @JohnLiu2013, and @deBlasioNYC. i am NOT following @anthonyweiner as i'm not tryin' to see any dick pics on my twitter feed (pervert).

anyway, i made a major discovery on my way, and that is that BILL DE BLASIO IS FOLLOWING ME!!! that's a surefire way to get this vote, if you know what i mean. also, he's friends with alec baldwin, so.

who are you leaning toward so far? tell me everything. here's a handy guide to get you started. let's learn together.


A supersized storm sucks sharks from the ocean and hurls them onto land in the new Syfy Original Movie Sharknado, premiering Thursday, July 11 at 9PM. (via)

baby steps

Exodus International, the biggest and oldest "ex-gay" group in the country has admitted that their mission is hopeless and they are shutting down.

As it turns out, you can't pray the gay away.

this is what im going to listen to today

rihanna needs to get this sh*t on spotify

18 June 2013

the prancing elites of mobile

who are the prancing elites? only the baddest ass all male cheerleading squad in alabama, if not the entire world. check it before you wreck it and consider yourself in the know. thx flim. do we know anyone from mobile?

have you decided how you feel about citibikes yet?

here's a funny and scientific documentary to help you.

what's the matter rita?

uuhhh uhhhmmmm. this is for church. (thx flim)

what is holmes donig?

 twerkin on a table.

twerkin on a purse.

17 June 2013

Music Minute with Ms. Dangles

"one of my favorite songs"

cool pixies from the second avenue subway construction

a whole bunch of 'em here. i can't believe it, really.

the wolf of wall street

the new leo / scorcese number.

bless her heart.


hotties from history

did you know that charlie chaplin was actually hot? discuss.

help. hank. help. help. hank. help.


14 June 2013


jodie. hay gurl.

this is the kind of video 2pz was made for


im the new snapchat kween

everyone who is anyone is snapchatting these days.

download the app and snapchat me!

username: jvmelton

(no dick pics plz. unless, you know, your shit is tight)

13 June 2013

Music Minute with Ms. Dangles

Kylie's Skirt on Nowness.com

new kylie, co-written by the dream, the first release from her upcoming album (her first with RocNation)

your turn, guacamole!


mean gurlz

thx flim!

11 June 2013

a good idea for the cornhole tournament this weekend

liquor gummies!

 who wants to volunteer to bring these? i'm looking at you thomas wilhelm.

very important news!

remember when i introduced you to guacamole? She was just a sweet faced pup on petfinder.com. well I just got word that my adoption request has been approved and as of 10 am. tomorrow she will be all. mine.

Q.U.E.E.N.S.(s) from Memphis


06 June 2013

faith sent me this video, saying "by the way, is this your boyfriend?"

 what do you think? is this Ms. Dangles? leave your thoughts in the comments.

05 June 2013


this one's called eternal vacation.

prancercise, straight from the horse's mouth.

read this interview with prancercise creator, joanna rohrback.
Joanna, I’m a big fan of your work. I tried to do Prancercise this morning as interview prep and it was a lot of fun and I also felt very self-conscious for the first few minutes. Any tips for people who have a hard time letting go?
They might want to try to do it in their houses first if they have enough space to travel between rooms. Or maybe they could do it with other people so they won’t be as self-conscious. I don’t know! I never was like that.
I actually started Prancercise on the Hollywood boardwalk where all these addict athletes were just strutting their stuff, running and Rollerblading. This was back in ’89, and the heads did turn, but I didn’t care. And if I really wanted privacy, or if it was raining or something, I could still do it pretty much anywhere, even in a parking garage!
illuminating! thx flim!!!

04 June 2013

holler design shows us how the sausage is made

Holler Design from Matt Alexander on Vimeo.

2Pz buddies matt + ktv + rj workin' on the holler farm. if you don't know, now you know.

a little twosie tuesdie gift for joel

shit went DOWN of GoT this weekend

i won't tell you what happened, but if you know, you might enjoy this reaction compilation of people watching the RED WEDDING!!!!!111111

i love 2:08 and 3:17.


03 June 2013

starla's dozen

starla: boring
it's no party in the usa
and that is not a compliment
unfortunately (depending who you ask) i follow miley on twitter
and she wouldnt stop talking about this song like she was the next beyonce.
color me underwhelmed
this has been an episode of "starla's dozen".

keekerz speakerz

eleanor friedberger's upcoming album, personal record, is streaming right over here.

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