27 December 2012

that's too sour!

watch this compilation of kids eating warheads.

the strongly worded email i sent united airlines last night while waiting for my ride to new jersey that nearly resulted in my own death

Dear United,

I'm writing from ATL while waiting for my replacement flight after a second cancellation during my brief holiday travels. Im not quite finished with what could quite possibly be the worst air travel experience I've had. hopefully i'll make it back this evening, and in the meantime, I want to do my part as a customer to let you know of several failures in your company's efforts to provide acceptable service. FYI : my confirmation is c2cjb4. (I know it by heart at this point.)

my ordeal began Friday morning (dec 21), when I arrived at the office with bags packed to leave that afternoon from EWR to BNA at 3:30pm. at 9:30am, I received an email alerting me that my flight was cancelled. I had not been automatically rebooked, so I got on the phone.

after a 30 minute wait, I spoke with someone who told me there were no flights on united but she was checking other airlines. she asked me to hold while she called us airways to confirm a seat on a similar flight from LGA. while waiting, I was disconnected. no one called me back, so I called again.

this time I was on hold for 45 minutes (precious time on days with lots of cancellations) I explained to the new representative what had happened, and she said that us airways flight was no longer an option. she looked for a flight for me and was unable to find anything until the next afternoon, not direct, and arriving at 11pm the next evening (dec 22).

now's a good time to mention that December 22 marked my 30th birthday, and my family had planned an event for me beginning a 8pm. this late arrival would mean I would miss this event, and was unacceptable to me.

when i expressed this I was told there was nothing that could be done, and no ways to get me in any earlier. the demeanor of this representative took a dark turn at this point as well, and I was told tersely that if she had something else, she would help me. I hung up very upset and distressed.

after some thought, I decided that if i wasn't going anywhere for more than 24 hours, I might as well look into taking a train to Philly and leaving from there, so I called back. this time (45 minute hold time) i asked the new representative to look into flights from PHL, and she replied with "how about JFK tonight?" I was so happy and also confused to learn that there were still flights from NYC. she put me on hold for 20 minutes. when she came back she said that in fact there were no flights from JFK that day, but she had something the next day. after another long hold, she came back and said that was unavailable as well. then she asked if I would mind going from LGA to BOS to IAD to BNA the next morning and getting in at 1pm. I told her I'd take that and she put me on hold to confirm. 20 minutes later, she came back to tell me that this was "invalid routing" and that wouldn't be an option either.

I also asked if I could get to ATL and MEM as options, to which I was also told there were no flights available. so she finally looked into PHL and told me the only option was to fly there that night, spend the night, and leave on a 6am flight in the morning through IAD then on to BNA. I asked if united was willing offer me a hotel voucher, and I was told no.

I took this itinerary and booked a hotel room in Philadelphia at my own expense of $115.

the first leg of this itinerary was with US airways, and after receiving my new e ticket from the United rep, I went online to check in. I received an error saying this wasn't available and to call US air. I did so (got through with no hold) and was told I needed to call united because the status of my ticket was incorrect.

I called united back (30 minute wait) and asked what was going on, and the rep out me on hold while she confirmed my status on each leg on my trip. this took 30 minutes, at the end of which I was told that I was indeed confirmed on the us airways flight, as well as the others. I was glad I had followed up.

so I set off for the airport. I got to LGA and was unable to print my ticket at the kiosk, so got in line (for 20 minutes). when I got to the counter, the us airways rep told me that while I was once confirmed on the PHL flight, I had been taken off the reservation by United. at this point, nothing surprised me, but I felt totally helpless. no matter how much effort and follow up I was willing to put in as a customer, United was failing at every turn.

the us airways rep ended up finding me a seat on another PHL flight which hadn't left yet, and I was able to reach my destination due to her helpfulness alone.

I spent a short 5 hours getting sleep in my hotel, and returned for the 6am flight to IAD. this one went off without a hitch, until it was time to land. we were forced to perform a "go around" which had us landing about 40 minutes late and I barely made my connection. however I made it to Nashville that morning.

I got started enjoying my holiday almost a full day later than planned.

today, I was scheduled to fly out of ATL to Cleveland and then to LGA, arriving around 7pm. last night I received an email that my CLE to LGA leg was cancelled due to weather. again, no automatic rebooking, so I called and luckily got through fairly quickly this time. the rep on this call was very helpful and rebooked me on a direct flight, however this was to EWR instead of LGA. I took this flight, as it was direct, and I no longer trusted that any of United's flights were going to end up with me where I was supposed to be.

now, I'm at the airport in Atlanta. I arrived early because I had coordinated transportation with my mother who was flying out at the same time, but my new flight leaves 3.5 hours after hers. I went to my assigned gate and saw that a flight to EWR scheduled for the morning was heavily delayed, and leaving shortly. I went to the desk and inquired about getting on this earlier flight (3831), explaining that my initial flight had been cancelled and an earlier flight would be much more convenient. the rep at the desk reluctantly agreed to take a look, and then told me she could put me on standby, for a charge of $75. I refused.

the flight I'm currently booked on is already delayed 25 minutes, hours in advance, and I'm crossing my fingers that I make it home tonight.

I cannot express the disappointment and inconvenience I've endured throughout what was my first time flying with United. I went from having a direct afternoon flight to a 2-day, 3-leg trip which included a hotel stay at my own expense. I missed out on almost a day with my family at the holidays due to the inability of your airline to assist me adequately when my flight was cancelled. and now on my return trip, I'm arriving late, and into a different airport (EWR) from which it is exceedingly more difficult for me to get home to Brooklyn than my original destination of LGA, which is a short, inexpensive cab ride. the ride from EWR will cost me around $60.

I paid over $500 for this reservation, and at no point did United fulfill their end of the transaction. in addition, your airline was unwilling to ease my burden by picking up a hotel tab which equalled a fraction of the cost of my ticket. I'm asking for compensation now, without which I can not ever envision myself booking travel with United again. A full refund or voucher for future travel would go a long way in improving my opinion of your airline moving forward.

On a positive note, I would like to compliment United's iPhone app. it is incredibly useful, and did its part in keeping me updated and informed (though it was almost always bad news...).

thank you for taking the time to address my experience / issues, and please let me know if I can offer any further information.

Kylie Kaiser


what did thomas wilhelm do on christmas day?

just popped out to the mobile walgreens for some last minute presents...in a TORNADUH!!

brace yourself.

you'll never believe what this puppy can do.

more girls!

"wish there was a lord, but i know there isn't."

thx maxwell!

20 December 2012

what's yella bear doing?

shining bright like a diamond at overton bark.

watch 12 minutes of pathetic losers

what is hank doing?

nappin' and smilin'.

thx erin!

who was the last Miss USA to win Miss Universe

the year: 1997
the girl: Miss USA, Brook Lee (Miss Hawaii)
the look: flawless

miss usa is miss universe

Miss Olivia Culpo, a 20 year old (born in 1992 for those keeping track) college student was crowned Miss Universe at Planet Hollywood last night. Isn't she lovely?

Actually, this is probably why the ancient aliens are coming back tomorrow to set things right. They are all, "bitch please you forgot to consider Miss Mars or Miss Jupiter when you crowned that little bitch from Rhode Island Miss Universe." via via

poor, poor red hook fairway

Like much of Red Hook, Fairway was destroyed by the flood waters. Every single component of the store—from the food products to the cash registers to the shelves—was irreparably damaged. When I visited last week it was startling to see how completely the space had been stripped. What was once a bustling grocery store is now a brick-walled shell. However, Fairway will be able to come back. Unlike many of the other small businesses that were damaged, Fairway has the reserves to rebuild. It's taking a particularly long time because of the massive amounts of equipment that needed to be re-ordered. It's not the kind of stuff you can get from IKEA. In the meantime, though, every single worker who had been employed at the Red Hook branch has been reassigned to other Fairway locations and provided with free transportation to those satellite stores. (via)
she won't re-open until march. ;(

who didn't see this coming.

bethenny + jason = splitsville.

thx jess!

a new great gatsby trailer

19 December 2012

kylie's wishlist


it's corgi time again.

click here to see the year's top 40 most influential corgis.

protect your hoovez.


newtown survivors + golden retriever "comfort dogs".

good thing no one ever flipped joel upside down.

actually, it's puppeh time.

you will. NEVER. believe what happens to this puppeh.

it's corgi time.

james franco's gay porn trailer

interior. leather bar.


these guys document their illegal mission to climb europe's newest tallest building in moscow. turn on the closed captioning on youtube for subtitles. and hold on to your armrests.

tooot tOOOOt, taco bell for dinner

couldn't not ctm at this.


The downtown Tomato Head may soon have more space.
Architect Elizabeth Eason has submitted an application to the Historic Zoning Commission that outlines a renovation plan which includes expansion into the space at 14 Market Square, formerly home to Marble Slab Creamery.
Among other things, the application outlines plans for an additional black metal fence enclosure; a new metal awning; and new wood windows.
In 2009, Tomato Head owners Mahasti Vafaie and Scott Partin paid $740,000 to buy 14 Market Square.
Partin said Tuesday that the restaurant is aiming to expand by February or March. (via)
plenty of room up here in brooklyn, too....

a lady president for South Korea

Park Geun-Hye has won the election to be the nation's first lady president. She is a member of the conservative party, and her father was former President (slash dictator) Park Chung-hee who was assassinated in 1979. Read the CNN report, it sounds like an interesting election.

its corgi time


18 December 2012

what is thomas wilhelm doing right now?

no question.

is this the best youtube video of the year?

a truck carrying a bunch of cows tumps over and the cows escape

oh hiii


dont take any candy from nscience



you fancy, huh?

$4000 gucci leather checker set.

monger monger monger

from instagram's new terms of service, effective january 16:
“You agree that a business or other entity may pay us to display your username, likeness, photos (along with any associated metadata), and/or actions you take, in connection with paid or sponsored content or promotions, without any compensation to you.” (via)

thx (for nothing) nscience.

17 December 2012


Norwegian scaredy cat Basse Andersen has such a hair-trigger panic button that he's become something of a media sensation in his homeland. (via)

williamsburg cinema

paper magazine and gothamist tell us that the new state of the art 7 screen theater at driggs and grand will be open on wednesday. i can verify that the smell of popcorn has been keeping me up at night.

if you watched homeland and have questions

nymag recaps a podcast where the homeland showrunner responds to some criticism.

dont worry kitty, just one more week til christmas!


13 December 2012

taylor swift - trouble

presented without comment. i would like to hear yours.

(if you cant see it, click here.)

thx starla!

hang in there


GIRLS is coming.

thx starla!

keekerz top 25 speakerz of 2012

last year my top 25 was 35 songs long, this year i got it down to 39.

top 10-ish albums to follow. enjoy!

for thomas wilhelm's eyes only

he's going to just DIE.

thx hannah!

how many other movies can you squeeze into one big movie?

the trailer for guillermo del toro's upcoming disaster flick, pacific rim. this thing's got everything: cloverfield, iron man, prometheus, godzilla, transformers, etc. etc., etc. also, does every apocalypse movie have to come with the inception fog horn toots in the trailer now? i don't mind it.

did you know tina and amy are hosting the golden globes?


internet famous dog receives best present ever


cute mistletoe prank


do you think you know when you see something cute?

well take this quiz and find out for sure.

stolen straight from carlygoogles' facebook wall.

12 December 2012


and now, 2012 by google

spoiler alert : i saw two of my favorite things in there.

facebook's year in review

click here to find out what facebook thinks your year looked like.

grumpy cat!

thx ms. danglez!!11

stuff is happening in north korea

just listen to what this lady has to say about it!

looks like someone's getting an A.

11 December 2012

zero dark inbox

What's the number of unread emails—right now, at this moment, without changing anything—in your inbox? That would be 3,487 in the case of Jen here; 1 in the case of Rebecca. More about what that means in a second, but first, a bit of backstory: The New Yorker's Silvia Killingsworth has embarked on an exploration of what she dubs in her headline as "Zero Dark Inbox," or having absolutely zero unread emails in one's inbox. (via)
read the rest and tell us in the comments which kind of sick relationship with email applies to you!

i'm somewhere between email hoarder and richard lawson.



that dog can drive. i don't think you need to speak to it in that baby voice.

take some notes, chipotle.


every baby should be a baby elephant

thx flim

soy sauce movie alert!

thats right, i said soy sauce movie.

superman movie alert!


The giant squid has been captured on video in its natural habitat for the first time ever.
This long-sought after footage — considered by many to be the Holy Grail of natural history filmmaking — will be revealed by Discovery Channel and NHK in January 2013.
With razor-toothed suckers and eyes the size of dinner plates, tales of this creature have been around since ancient times. The Norse legend of the sea monster the Kraken, and the Scylla from Greek mythology, might have derived from the elusive giant squid.
This massive predator has always been shrouded in secrecy, and every attempt to capture a live giant squid on camera in its natural habitat has failed. Until now. (via)

2Pz friend fame : nscience edition

someone thinks he's all that and a pack of crackers because he got his science stories published:
Brianna Commerford felt a lump. After a few months of feeling mildly ill, she was diagnosed with stage IV Hodgkin’s lymphoma. She was devastated, she was scared, and she was only 9 years old.
Five years later, Brianna is still alive thanks to an experimental treatment she received from the Children’s Oncology Group. Devoted to curing childhood and adolescent cancer, the COG is a clinical trials group that is primarily supported by the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH), the largest sponsor of biomedical research in the world.
This month scientists nationwide are petitioning to protect lifesaving research programs like this one before January, when the federal government will automatically slash—or “sequester”—8.2 percent ($2.5 billion) of the NIH budget for 2013 unless Congress stops the move. The money will be withheld because of provisions in the Budget Control Act of 2011 that aimed to cut spending. Combined with the scheduled finale of the Bush-era tax cuts, the provisions are expected to push the country over the now proverbial fiscal cliff. (via)
congrats, sneakerz!

y'all, it's jenny cook's bearthdie!

28 BEARS OLD!!!!!111111

10 December 2012

brooklyn livin'

The spaces of Brooklyn can hardly be contained—they multiply seemingly overnight—but what follows are a selection of some of Brooklyn’s most sought-afer interiors: the brownstone, the converted warehouse, the microspace, the mansion, the glass condo. Each space represents one of Brooklyn’s multitudes, each interior designed to inspire wonder about the possibilities inherent within. (via)

two smiths dont make a right.

will smith and one of his nearly identical offspring are in a movie together that is basically the same thing as this other tom cruise movie, except more avatar-ish. looks like our scientologist friends are busy preparing for the end of the world.

dave, we're going to catfish you.

if you're not watching catfish, you had better start because its the best show on music television.

portlandia's back soon.

january 4.

beyonce's pepsi can

swiperboy approves

'nuff said

can. not. wait.

thoughts, sara jane?


According to various reports, a very fashionably dressed monkey was found wandering around an Ikea in Toronto. Apparently, the monkey, who was wearing a shearling coat and a diaper, was brought to the store by his owners and left in the car while they went inside. But, as you might have guessed from his coat, this wasn't your regular, run-of-the-mill monkey, content to stay in the car while his owners had all the shopping fun. (via)

bend over.

Less than five years ago, an unlimited monthly MetroCard would set you back just $76. Those halcyon days will seem like a lifetime ago when the MTA board votes on Wednesday on its latest fare-hike package. According to the various reports this morning, a monthly card will go from $104 to $112, a weekly from $29 to $30, and a single ride from $2.25 to $2.50. (via)

the little dog from Shahs of Sunset

Faith:  also, this thing
how it has some ear imbalance or something and only walks in circles
 me:  and why is he always all hunched up like that

09 December 2012

lindsay lohan news

she lost her hands. here

07 December 2012

coach butch introduces himself to the volnation

st. lucia - september


roll models



he's agreed to step aside to allow the head coach from cincinnati to take over for the vols. here's a little introduction to the man who's going to try to fix us, BUTCH JONES.

fun facts: derek dooley beat him last year. but, he's 2-1 against our first second third choice, charlie strong. so that's something. i like his spirit, too.

06 December 2012

star trek trailer

a meeyehsudge from your fyvuritt prohm myinistah

i don't really get it, but whatevs.

a little extra girls

a deleted scene, just for you.

ashley judd for president!

or at least senator of kentucky:
The Hollywood movie star and eighth-generation Kentuckian is seriously exploring a 2014 run for the Senate to take on the powerful Republican leader, four people familiar with the matter tell POLITICO. In recent weeks, Judd has spoken with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) about the possibility of a run, has discussed a potential bid with a Democratic pollster and has begun to conduct opposition research on herself to see where she’s most vulnerable in the Bluegrass State, sources say. (via)

05 December 2012

christmas lights in madrid

by teresa sapey (via)

BREAKING: coach corgnelius has announced his offensive coordinator!

thx ktv!

May I present, the new Tennessee football coach, CORGNELIUS

hmmm what? Jon Gruden who? Mike Gundy sounds too much like Rob Bundy. Charlie Strong, never heard of her. Give the job to Corgnelius, the cutest damn corgi on the internet.



the word on twitter is that louisville head coach charlie strong has been mulling over his offer to hold the most prestigious position in all of college sports: football coach for the tennessee volunteers!

folks're sayin' there's a UT press conference and / or a louisville team meeting in just a few minutes. therefore, we would like to make our official 2Pz projection.


elephants take a saw dust bath

PS. that baby elephant is 4 days old.

the more you know

If, god forbid, I fall onto the tracks or someone I am willing to risk my life for falls into the tracks and is knocked out - and a train is coming (lets say 30sec away) - what should I do? Are those pits between the rails by the platforms made for people to hide in in a worst case scenario?

The best thing you can do is run as far down the platform as you can (in the opposite direction from where the train enters the station) and wave your arms frantically to get the train operator and passenger's attention. Believe me, the passengers WILL be doing the exact same thing, as nobody wants to see you get run over and their train get delayed. If you can get to the far end of the platform, it gives the train more room to stop, and there is a ladder at the end of each platform where you can climb back up -- do NOT try to climb up from where you are. So many people have been killed trying to jump back up rather than getting away from the entrance end of the station.

Do NOT trust the pits between the tracks --- they are often right next to the third rail which can be just as dangerous (and note that the wooden planks are not designed to hold a human's weight - they are there to protect the energized rail from drips and weather) and the train operator is less likely to see you if you're in there. And don't duck under the train, because most stations do not have enough clearance for the average human. And do NOT jump down onto the tracks to try to save someone else. The best thing you can do is run on the platform towards the tunnel where the train enters so you can get the operator's attention sooner. Waving your arms over the tracks will tell the operator to stop immediately.

this is the answer the MTA does not want you to know.


UPDATE!!!   that motherfucker rejected us. fine with me. i never even wanted him to be our coach anyway. 

Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy has been offered the Tennessee head coaching job, a source told CBSSports.com Wednesday morning.
The 45-year-old former standout OSU quarterback led the Cowboys to a school-record 12 wins and its first BCS bowl appearance last season, and finished No. 3 in the nation. This fall, despite having had to play three QBs because of injuries, the Cowboys finished the regular season 7-5. He is 66-35 in eight seasons at his alma mater.
The coach's name has come up quite a bit this month for top coaching vacancies. Friction between Gundy and OSU AD Mike Holden has added to the intrigue.
Tennessee is replacing Derek Dooley who was fired last month after going 4-7 and having gone 1-14 in SEC play the past two seasons. Sources say UT hopes to have its new coach on board by the end of this week. (via)
not as handsome as derek dooley, but at least he's used to orange...

gay power couple

Mark Zuckerberg's college roommate and current owner of The New Republic, Chris Hughes and his butch boytoy Sean Eldridge have a huge loft in Soho they use for parties, but live upstate on a former Vanderbilt estate. They are rich and powerful and married and I am jealous. nymag nytimes 

a hutch is not enough


RIP dave brubeck.

sorry, dave.

inside Johnny Depp's new house in Nashville

looks real ritzy glitzy if you ask me

the grizzlies still have the best record in the league

beat the suns 108-98 in overtime at home last night

Go easy on the Pepsi Thomas Wilhelm