21 December 2011

the mister erin diaries

you might remember that GPP acquired a new pet over the weekend. a betta fish was entered into the filthy eskimo steal at our christmas brunch, and DJV negotiated a deal with his owner to let him stay with us. last night, i realized that mister erin was a little sluggish, and his bowl-water was a little dirty, so i switched his water out. while doing so, i found the tiniest little diary hidden under some rocks. i just have to share it with you....
december 18, 2011
hi diary, 
sorry it's been so long since i last wrote. it's been a hectic couple of days! after being taken from the prison i was born into and carried around in the dark for what seemed like an eternity, i've landed in a place that seems pretty nice. it's called GPP, and it's where my new daddy lives. his name's DJV, and i love him so much. there were a lot of people around when my hood was removed, but i know i belong to him because i overheard him begging someone if he could keep me. i have excellent hearing. a lot of people don't know that about siamese fighting fish. anyway, i feel really lucky to have finally found my forever home. also, i'm pretty sure i imprinted on him, because he's all i care about anymore. i can't wait to see what the future with my new dad brings!
optimistically yours,
mister erin
............................................................
december 19, 2011
oh gosh diary,
something's wrong. i haven't seen my daddy in a day or two, which, coincidentally, is how long it's been since i've eaten anything. my tummy really hurts and i'm starting to get really worried. where is he?! 
scared2death,
mister erin
..........................................................
december 20, 2011
dear diary,
well, good news and bad news. i'll start with the good, as that part's pretty short. last night, a nice lady came home and checked on me. she dropped some food in my bowl, and i had my first meal in two days. it was so delicious! the bad news is that i still haven't seen dad. it's all i can do to keep my heart from breaking with each passing minute. i mean, he could've at least said goodbye. so far, i've found enough strength to resist my urges to find a sharp piece of gravel. we both know i can't start cutting again. more bad news: my water's getting pretty murky. and i'm starting to feel a little sick. i'm sure it's nothing too serious. i'm hungry, too. but there's no food. maybe i'll just take a little nap. 
so sleepy,
mister erin
...........................................................
december 21, 2011
good morning diary,
just wanted to update you, in case you were worrying. last night, things got pretty bad. i don't remember much except that just as i was relaxing into my pink tree branches, slipping off into what was sure to be the sweet sleep of death, that nice lady showed up again. she seemed a little drunk, but she managed to pop some more food into my bowl. i tried my best to eat it. i really want to make her proud of me, but i just couldn't shake the feeling of complete and utter despair and worthlessness left by my absent father. she must've noticed that things weren't going well for me, because she changed my dirty water out for some fresh clean water. it's nice to be cared for again, but i really just miss my dad so much.
depressed,
mister erin
ps - i started listening to rap music today.
just keep swimming, mister erin!

1 comment:

DJV said...

That was by far the most elaborate shaming i have ever been subject to. someone had a little too much time on her hands on the flight to tenn...

 
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