27 June 2013

TENNESSEE - travel the world without leaving the state

Have you ever wanted to travel abroad, but you just don't have the time or money or you're just not sure how to tip in a foreign country? Well, you're in luck! Most of the best parts of the rest of the world are probably already in your backyard.

Memphis, TN - Have you ever been to Egypt? Me neither. Who wants to deal with all that sand? I mean I like hummus, but not that much. Good thing there is a pyramid in Memphis! The "Great American Pyramid" is the 6th largest pyramid in the world, behind 4 in Egypt and 1 in Las Vegas. You can't gamble, or search for buried treasure in Tennessee's pyramid, but soon you will be able to bargain hunt! The building, built in 1991 is currently undergoing a multi-million dollar renovation to become a Bass Pro Shops Megastore complete with a shooting range, archery range, some hotel rooms, a laser arcade, bowling alley, and a restaurant. Many people consider the Pyramid to be haunted, not because of some dead Phaoroh's curse, but by the legacy of malfeasance and fraud that surrounds the construction and management of the former arena. See it for yourself, if you DARE!!! PS. See if you can find the fiberglass replica Ramses II statue that the city moved to the University of Memphis campus because Bass Pro didn't want it.

Paris, TN - Who wants to fly all the way to stinky old France when you can take a slow scenic drive to Paris, only 20 minutes south of Kentucky Lake. In this, the first town incorporated in West Tennessee, you will find a 1/17 scale replica of the Eiffel Tower, assembled by students from Christian Brothers University and dedicated in 1993. After the wood structure started to rot, a local businessman paid to have the tower re-built in steel. Can you even believe it? If you plan right, you might find yourself in the middle of the "World's Biggest Fish Fry" which takes place annually in Paris during the last full week of April.



Nashville, TN - In 1897, just a few thousand years after the Parthenon was completed in Athens, Greece, Nashville, the so called "Athens of the South" (no, not that Athens, or that Athens, or that Athens) celebrated the 100th birthday of Tennessee by building a full scale Parthenon of their very own, even though they missed the actual Centennial by one year (details..). If you're a movie buff, you may recognize the building as the backdrop of an important scene in Nashville, a movie directed by Robert Altman. I fell asleep during that part but maybe you caught it. A couple decades later Nashvillians decided to keep their Parthenon forever, and re-built it out of concrete. Don't miss the Athena statue inside!

Nashville, TN - If you like French things, and you like Nashville things, you're going to love this. Some rich asshole built himself an exact replica of a palace originally built in France in 1724.  He is so rich even filled his fake French house with real French art. If for some reason you accidentally find yourself in Paris, that jerk's collection is on display right now in the Musee d'Orsay. Just kidding, why would you be in Paris, when there is an Eiffel tower a few hundred miles away. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Can you think of any other fake old things in Tennessee? Does your hometown have any fake old things? Let me know in the comments. Happy travels!


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