your fortnightly boat

TOOT TOOT PRISON SHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111

there is a such thing as a floating prison and the largest one in the world lives in the bronx, serving as (maybe) another place for the COs at rikers to beat the daylights out of mentally ill people. 

i don't know.

i love your puppy

jennifer lopez has a new song about puppies and a sexy video to go along with it.

what happens to the zoo animals when it snows?

well the bronx zoo and the central park zoo are already shut down in anticipation of the approaching blizzard. but the bears like it! via

baby giraffe at the bronx zoo

so in this video this giant baby giraffe sees a butterfly for the first time (:42) and freaks out and flops all over himself to figure it out. this baby giraffe doesn't have a name yet, and i am going to suggest MAXWELL... because look at that thing. all knees and elbows. via.

as i was just saying: raccoons are cute but dangerous

look but don't touch people. even if you think that it might be a foxy puppy in a bank robber costume, a raccoon will tear your flesh from your body without a second thought. hey bronx residents, DO NOT PET.

COBRAWATCH 2K11

FOUND!

The venomous Bronx Zoo Egyptian cobra that alarmed and delighted New Yorkers when it escaped from its enclosure was found today, ending a six day search for the celebrated snake.


The elusive snake was found "coiled, sort of secluded in a dark corner" about 9 a.m. a couple hundred feet away from the enclosure she had slipped out of, said Bronx Zoo Director Jim Breheny.


It was recovered by a Reptile House employee using "special tongs to grip the animal," Breheny said. (via)

COBRAWATCH 2K11

you have probably already heard that this weekend, an egyptian cobra escaped from its cage at the bronx zoo. it is still missing. they think he's probably just hiding under his house somewhere and will come out when he's hungry (for people), but in the meantime, check out this probably-real twitter.

some egyptian cobra factz:
it is the same snake cleopatra is rumored to have used to commit suicide.
it can kill an elephant in 3 hours, and a person in 15 minutes.
it could take weeks to find!

ssssssssSSSSSsssSsSSsSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssSssSsssSSSssssssss!!