Showing posts with label tim teabag. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tim teabag. Show all posts

24 August 2012

7 (and 6 and 5 and 4) DAYS!!!!!!!!!

2012 update : this 2009 post doesnt make sense anymore, but just deal with it, ok? it's been edited just slightly, but not with very much effort because unlike 2009, i have a job now (thanks, barack!). please note the prescient hatred for penn state. 

gosh, i know! i have been slacking big-time on the UT-football-greatness list. to make it up to all of you, and to get us all back on schedule, ima do a 4sie today. here we go!

10. the pride of the southland marching band
9. smokey
8. rocky top

7. the color orange!!

this should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me. orange is my favorite color. just ask anything i own. like my bike.

pantone 151c = where it's at.

6. eric berry!!

good luck! you're never going to catch him!

i love eric berry so much that i named my bike after him, and she's a lady! the UT safety is the first heisman-candidate we've had since peyton manning (i'm pretty sure). i hear what they're saying, that his chances are slim. tennessee will need to have a fairly successful season, and he'll have to pull out an amazing play in every single game. pssh. like that's even hard!!

he's the fastest runner. he takes the ball whenever he wants it. he'll run right around tim teabag. and watch out if you're georgia... he'll hit you so hard! he can play any position, just ask him! and he has the cutest tweets.

just sayin'... be sure to keep your peepers on number 14. he's a show-stopper!

5. trash talkingugh. georgia is the worst. their colors are red and black, which are ugly and boring. and they can never beat tennessee. it's like, if you put adult clothes on a bunch of toddlers and sent them out onto a football field...THAT's what it's like when georgia plays.

don't even get me started on florida. they repeatedly have poor wardrobe choices, they think their quarterback is so great, and their stadium is totes UgLy!

and auburn. second-rate at just about everything. guh-ross! their mascot is "tigers" but they yell "war eagle" like it makes any sense at all. that is 1) not an acceptible greeting, 2) not your mascot, and 3) not even an animal. more like "butt eagle".

and the same goes for the rest of you.

to be fair, the SEC is the greatest conference in all of college football, and i'd rather see all of these teams win than anyone in the big 10, especially the mf-ing nittany kitty katz. me-ouch!

4. lane kiffin!!

what a dreamboat. and he loves trash talking, too! lane's been making plenty of pre-season waves. i'm actually starting to think he might be a little bit crazy... like, beyonce-crazy. and i like it.

while we're all on p's and n's, waiting to see if he backs it up, i am enjoying the ride. my approach to tennessee football tends toward belligerent confidence, and i get the impression his does too.

keep it up, lane. can't wait til saturday! fuck this guy.

23 April 2012

good news!

tim tebow will be parking his tasteless gator tail in broboken, smell jersey where he belongs, significantly decreasing the chance of ever having the misfortune of running into him on the streets of new york. #bulletdodged

17 April 2012

tim gets his own sammy at carnegie


"the jetbow consists of corned beef, pastrami, roast beef, american cheese, mayonnaise, lettuce and tomato all crammed in between two pieces of white bread, and weighs an estimated 3.5 pounds... carnegie deli owner sandy levine said that it would be the first time in the restaurant’s 75 years that a celebrity-named sandwich would contain white bread and mayonnaise, different from its usual combination of rye bread and mustard." more at foodbeast

way to go, yankees fans.

NEW YORK -- Tim Tebow has work to do if he's going to win over New York sports fans.
The new backup quarterback for the Jets was booed at Yankee Stadium on Sunday night when he was shown on the giant video board -- even though he was wearing a Yankees cap.
Sitting in the third row next to the Los Angeles Angels dugout, Tebow cracked a smile and acknowledged the camera. There was a smattering of cheers, but most of the initial reactions were boos. (via)
UNwelcome.

09 April 2012

cry baby Bubba Watson wins the Masters



 things you should know about bubba watson:
1) he is married to a giant
2) he is a tim tebow style jesus freak
3) he is in a boy band with some of his golf buddies
4) he went to (holds nose) georgia
5) he seems like a nice guy who loves his mother.

via

06 April 2012

i wish someone would roll tim tebow's corpse into a cave and throw away the key.

Tim Tebow will deliver the Easter sermon on Sunday at the Celebration Church in Georgetown, Texas, and the expected turnout is one more indication of Tebow’s enormous popularity.
The church told local TV station KVUE that it’s erecting bleachers on its 60-acre outdoor space for what it expects to be a crowd of as many as 30,000 people.
“Obviously it’s our Super Bowl,” said Joe Champion, pastor at the Celebration Church. “Easter is the resurrection of Christ, which we celebrate in our faith. We feel like it’s going to be a testimony to the community. We want it to be a family event.” (via)
that's nasty.

01 March 2012

taylor swift ))<>(( tim tebow

are pooping back and forth forever.
A romance may be brewing between Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow and country songstress Taylor Swift. Page Six reported that Tebow was the toast of a pre-Oscars bash on Friday night, where he spent some time chatting up Swift. The pair then had dinner Monday night at Toscanova Italian restaurant in Century City. (via)
i haven't felt this way since i heard JFK's speech on the separation of church and state.

04 January 2012

a match made in the bowels of hell


Michele Bachmann has a last-minute TV ad up in Iowa in which she compares herself to Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, who will play in his first career playoff game this weekend, despite the fact he only completed six passes last week and was unquestionably the worst quarterback over the last month of the regular season. The ad mentions none of that, choosing instead to note that Bachmann and Tebow both have "no baggage" and that "like Tebow, she keeps fighting and she just keeps winning votes." (via) 
no compromise! no flip-flops!

in the end, it looks like that ad didn't work. i'm predicting the same fate for tim teabag in the NFL caucuses.

02 November 2011

"X > tebow"-ing is the new tebowing.

hating tim tebow is now an internet meme.
On Sunday night, ESPN.com posted a Bill Williamson column calling for the Broncos to get their post-Tebow plans in order. The early comments were unremarkable: the usual "Tebow sucks" and "John Fox sucks" camps doing their thing. But as Halloween dawned, the shapeless mass of discontent had taken form. Completely organically, Tebow hate made order out of chaos.
"X > Tebow" is the meme, with X being a series of increasingly negative and absurd things. It began with QuanB8's comment, "Ryan Leaf > Tebow." It moved to to other crappy quarterbacks—JaMarcus Russell, David Carr, Akili Smith—but soon became something else entirely. A few examples:
Windows Vista > Tebow
Still saying 'Whaaaz uuuppp' > Tebow
Rebooting the Back To The Future franchise with the plot centered around getting Tebow's mom to have an abortion > Tebow
...
On day two, ESPN tried a different strategy: only deleting comments that were anti-religious or otherwise objectionable under their terms of service. We've heard from commenters who have found their contributions gone, their accounts suspended. But even that's fallen by the wayside, as any number of anti-Christian or generally obscene comments can be found today. The moderators abandoned the battlefield. The commenters won.
(via)
to quote one of my favorite things thomas wilhelm has ever said, "where's your god now, tim tebow?"

31 October 2011

tebowing: update

Detroit Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch drops to one knee  in ‘Tebowing’ pose after sacking Denver’s Tim Tebow Coverage





thanks, frank

28 October 2011

...is the new...

planking owling batmanning tebowing

26 August 2011

experts agree, TIM TEBOW SUX



"He can't play. He can't throw," Esiason said at a CBS press event on Tuesday. "I'm not here to insult him. The reality is he was a great college football player, maybe the greatest college football player of his time. But he's not an NFL quarterback right now.

"Just because he's God-fearing, and a great person off the field, and was a winner with the team that had the best athletes in college football, doesn't mean his game is going to translate to the NFL."




24 February 2010

Vols lose to Florida


The Vols went down to Gainsville to play the unranked, jort-wearing Gators. Those prehistoric jerks put a hurting on the struggling Volunteers, who might be watching their March hopes go down the tuuuuuuuubbbbbbes




Somehow, this is Tim Tebow's fault.

08 February 2010

what was your favorite commercial?

i liked a lot. and disliked plenty, as well.


the one that stuck with me the most was denny's screaming chicken series. it was no nannerpuss, but still excellent.


we noticed a lot of themes emerging in this year's ads, the most prominent being violence. here are 3 examples: snickers, doritos, and kill-me-now.




ho. ly. shit. tim teabag. is it too late to abort him?

anyway, i've beaten up 3 people already today.


budweiser / bud light made me laugh AND made me thirsty.


that cow is cute as hell.

and lastly,

this one stands alone. that's just solid advertising.

18 January 2010

ykwgmg : tim teabag

Come Sunday, Feb. 7, Tebow will already be on the Super Bowl telecast. That's because Tebow and a faith group, Focus on the Family, will be debuting a 30-second commercial that utilizes Tebow's own life story to make the case that abortion is wrong. (via)

ugh. ;(



05 November 2009

Urban Meyer deserves to be suspended

During the SEC coaches teleconference Wednesday Urban Meyer criticized the officiating crew of his game on Saturday when he said that Georgia should have been called for a late hit on his boyfriend Tim Tebow on a play that happened "right in front of the referee."

Now I seem to recall that Mike Silve has stated that coaches arent supposed to complain about officials, so do you think Urban Meyer is going to be punished? These are the rules that we are all playing by, right?

Additionally, did you see how that Florida player tried to blind the Georgia player and got caught on video? Meyer suspended him for half a game, then the player was like... you know coach maybe it would be better to sit out a whole game. You think?

h8

22 October 2009

remember that florida-arkansas game?

the one where arkansas was going to beat florida until the refs made a series of questionable calls late in the 4th quarter, essentially enabling florida to come back and win?

well, those refs got suspended. for CHEATING!

"The Southeastern Conference has suspended officials from last weekend's Arkansas-Florida game after the crew was involved in its second controversial call of the year.
Referee Marc Curles' crew called a personal foul on Arkansas defensive lineman Malcolm Sheppard in the fourth quarter as the Gators were rallying for a 23-20 victory. The league said there was no video evidence to support the call.
The same group of officials called the LSU-Georgia game earlier this month, which included a late unsportsmanlike conduct penalty the league said shouldn't have been called." (via)

12 October 2009

just as we all suspected.


tim tebag and urban meyer are totes gay for each other!!!

plenty to pass around indeed!

20 September 2009

oyr florida.

looks like someone's a little embearassed about how well tennessee did against them on saturday. what a bunch of lying fakers.
 
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