its official

things the city of new york approves:

bj's for babies and a ban on large sodas.

let's talk about old jewish men sucking blood off of babies' penises.

during my morning commute new york times reading, i nearly spat my iced coffee all over my iphone screen when i came across this story:

The grandmother carried the sleeping infant boy on a white pillow toward the synagogue’s altar, and passed him to her son. Her son carried the infant toward the mohel, or Jewish ritual circumciser, who stood amid a cluster of chanting men.

The mohel lifted the infant’s clothing to expose his tiny penis. With a rapid flick of a sharp two-sided scalpel, the mohel sliced off the foreskin and held it between his fingers. Then he took a sip of red wine from a cup and bent his head. He placed his lips below the cut, around the base of the baby’s penis, for a split second, creating suction, then let the wine spill from his mouth out over the wound. (via)

this prompted me to immediately stop reading and text thomas wilhelm (obviously), who replied with:

"oh yeah. you didn't know about rabbi baby dick sucking? grossest thing."

the most insane part is that the act itself wasn't even the newsmaking portion of the article. it turns out there is somewhat of an epidemic of mohels (baby d s-ers) transitting herpes to unsuspecting jewish infants. the city is attempting to pass legislation that will ban old men from putting their mouths on infant genitalia require parents sign a consent form showing that they understand the health risks of this religious practice.

a few hours later, i still cant stop thinking about this. so i wanted to see what joel thought about it:

me: i need to ask you a very serious question
Joel: go on
me: did you know that THIS happens? (link)
Joel: i didnt know about the jewish infant vampire blowjob
me: isnt that alarming
Joel: yeah
why take the risk
and ok, its an important tradition. whats the big deal with getting the parents to sign a consent form.
why isnt there ALREADY a consent form?
me: my question is
do they insist on tradition when circumsizing a grown man
how is it not a criminal activity in today's modern society
if a regular gentile man did that to a gentile baby
they would lock him up and throw away the key
Joel: its stupid and gross and sick and dangerous
and shouldnt be protected because it is "religious"
what if my religion said that i should kill any babies born with a vagina sorry, its my religion
i think we should use our platform on 2pz to facilitate an internet discussion
me: good idea

so?!? what are YOUR thoughts?

just in time for halloween

the nytimes has a feature on louis kahn's FDR memorial which comes to roosevelt island from BEYOND THE GRAVE. it opens october 24th.

ike and tina eat watermelon in whiteface for outta season LP album cover

awesome. thx ms.dangles

confidence i can get behind

“I think people want to wait and see how we do against Florida, but I’m here to tell them that we’re going to beat them,” Tennessee defensive end Darrington Sentimore said. (via)

just look what he did with that gator-colored tackling dummy.

new gay couple alert

zachary quinto (aka spock and aka american horror story) and jonathan groff (aka jesse st james and aka spring awakening) are dating!

if i didnt already have the best boyfriend in the world i would be so jealous. via

"very sexual, very sensual, very casual"

@jennyslate25

love her.

(via)

are you watching "the new normal"?

i watched the pilot and thought it was just okay, then i watched the premiere and it was a laugh a minute. my favorite character is goggles. and also the puppy.

what are you doing tonight?

thomas wilhelm and joel and neil and i are going to watch what looks like it might be the scariest movie ever. if we never blog again, call the police because we're probably being tortured in my living room.

you know how sometimes you know you're going to post a video on your blog before you even hit play?

(via)

how sad.

a little bird told me that liz loves dachshunds

and this one's got more to love than any other dachshund i've seen.

'yeah ... uh ... burgers'

KNOXVILLE — Derrick Brodus has completed the improbable journey from his couch to Tennessee’s starting lineup.

Brodus will take over for the slumping Michael Palardy as the 23rd-ranked Volunteers’ main kicker Saturday in their Southeastern Conference opener with No. 18 Florida. Palardy, who has missed an extra-point attempt in each of Tennessee’s first two games, will continue to handle kickoffs.

“We plan on kicking Derrick Brodus starting out as long as things stay the same during the week,” Tennessee coach Derek Dooley said. “I still believe in Mike, but he’s got some things he’s got to work through. Derrick’s certainly earned the right to be out there.” (more)

Remember that drunk kid that kicked that won the mtsu game last year?  Yeah, that's him.  He had rsvp'd for the tailgate at kylie's this weekend, but apparently he won't be making it after all.

hey space needle!

(via) #neverforget #freedomaintfree