do you want to see the Jim Jarmusch/ Tilda Swinton vampire movie?

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let's talk about old jewish men sucking blood off of babies' penises.

during my morning commute new york times reading, i nearly spat my iced coffee all over my iphone screen when i came across this story:

The grandmother carried the sleeping infant boy on a white pillow toward the synagogue’s altar, and passed him to her son. Her son carried the infant toward the mohel, or Jewish ritual circumciser, who stood amid a cluster of chanting men.

The mohel lifted the infant’s clothing to expose his tiny penis. With a rapid flick of a sharp two-sided scalpel, the mohel sliced off the foreskin and held it between his fingers. Then he took a sip of red wine from a cup and bent his head. He placed his lips below the cut, around the base of the baby’s penis, for a split second, creating suction, then let the wine spill from his mouth out over the wound. (via)

this prompted me to immediately stop reading and text thomas wilhelm (obviously), who replied with:

"oh yeah. you didn't know about rabbi baby dick sucking? grossest thing."

the most insane part is that the act itself wasn't even the newsmaking portion of the article. it turns out there is somewhat of an epidemic of mohels (baby d s-ers) transitting herpes to unsuspecting jewish infants. the city is attempting to pass legislation that will ban old men from putting their mouths on infant genitalia require parents sign a consent form showing that they understand the health risks of this religious practice.

a few hours later, i still cant stop thinking about this. so i wanted to see what joel thought about it:

me: i need to ask you a very serious question
Joel: go on
me: did you know that THIS happens? (link)
Joel: i didnt know about the jewish infant vampire blowjob
me: isnt that alarming
Joel: yeah
why take the risk
and ok, its an important tradition. whats the big deal with getting the parents to sign a consent form.
why isnt there ALREADY a consent form?
me: my question is
do they insist on tradition when circumsizing a grown man
how is it not a criminal activity in today's modern society
if a regular gentile man did that to a gentile baby
they would lock him up and throw away the key
Joel: its stupid and gross and sick and dangerous
and shouldnt be protected because it is "religious"
what if my religion said that i should kill any babies born with a vagina sorry, its my religion
i think we should use our platform on 2pz to facilitate an internet discussion
me: good idea

so?!? what are YOUR thoughts?

needs more katniss

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i was playing a little scrabble doodle dandy

Can you guess my word based on this clue?

It has 8 letters: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hint, the gal is starla.

If you have a smartphone, download Drawsomething!

are we going to see this?

thx bunners!

fannings

dakota and elle are radiant. bitches be white.

new tv starring buffy

the vampire slayer has a whole new show on the cw. dont you just love the cw?

let me in

i saw let me in last night. if you have seen the swedish film this one is adapted from, then you know exactly what to expect. it is nice though that they were able to make the transition to english and an american setting without losing what made the original so great. it is a tense dark fairy tale with incredible performances from the two kids who have to carry the film. also, totally on the nose with all the bullying stuff going on right now. two more things: the cgi kind of blows, except for a car crash scene that is the best i have ever seen in any movie.
11 biscuits, natch

twilight baby.

they cast renesmee!


Nine-year-old Mackenzie Foy has been cast as Renesmee, and EW reports that the actress will play the younger (but fast-aging) character using Benjamin Button–style facial-transfer trickery. If the special effects are anywhere near as good as the Twilight saga's terrible CG wolves, we are in for some solid gold right here. (via)

i'll be honest, i'd all but forgotten this movie was happening. let the countdown begin!

i agree with every word of this

this. its about how bad the cullens look in the movies relative to how beautiful they are supposed to be according to the books. bad wigs. they look better in real life... etc.

hmmm.

you might remember i told you how awesome the swedish vampire movie, let the right one in, was. i just saw this trailer for the american version, which i guess is ready to come out. it looks just exactly the same as the swedish one, doesn't it?

i feel like i don't really need to see it. but i guess i will.

let's talk about eclipse.

OBVI, it was 11 biscuits, so i don't need to review it for real. i just want to share some random thoughts, and hear yours too. let's begin.

what was with bella's wig? k-stew's hair is her one redeeming quality, and a twilight star on it's own. it looked just terrible. and i never want that to happen again.

jasper, i didn't know you had a confederate southern accent. that's because you've never spoken that way before. and actually, you didn't break it out until you started rehashing your civil war stories. and when you were done talking about that, you dropped the accent again.

taylor lautner is one terrible actor. i lol'd pretty much every time he spoke. but he's a crowd pleaser. he won "most hollers at the court street theater" by a landslide.

riley was a really great addition.

bryce howard was a terrible victoria. i want old, better victoria back.

the wolves looked so much meaner. but still cute as hell! FLUFFZ!!!

ummmm.....what else? well, what did you guys think?

oh, one last thing. next time you watch it, mentally replace the word 'imprint' in the dialogue with 'come', and you'll have lolz4dayz! (as in: bella: how do you know when you've imprinted on someone? jacob: when it happens, you just know.)  you're welcome!

who is brian eno?

i told you all that i was going to go to a cd store and buy congratulations, the new mgmt album. well i did. (11 bicuits by the way) i went to grimeys. the next day i learned grimey's was voted as the 8th best indie record store in the nation (one of 2 from TN in the top 15). coincidence, maybe.

well, on the album, and on snl, there is a song called "Brian Eno."

this is what andrew vanwyngarden had to say about the track:
“It’s kind of a vampire-punk-rock song about finding Brian Eno in like a cathedral in Transylvania. He’s like a dark wizard. We originally asked him to produce the track, but he hadn’t heard of us.”
i can freely admit that while the name rang familiar, i had no idea who brian eno is. for some reason, in my head the picture associated with the name is james iha's face.

so brian eno, (nee Brian Peter George St. John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno) is an english musician and composer who basically pioneered ambient music and has produced or collaborated on some of the best music of the past couple decades. also, if you had windows 95, he is responsible for the start up sound that you probably have nightmares about when your computer crashes. from what i can tell, this musical theorist and installation artist is basically a genius, so thanks mgmt for helping me figure it out.

is...this....joel?

tell me joel doesn't dance just like that.

want to hear the new vampire weekend?

yeah, i mean. i guess i do.

let's just see what this sounds like.

team walrus.

(via)

taylor swift kills it

even though i think she is stupid, this is funny2me

starla jewlery

a vampire necklace for starla.

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chuck bass, californication

did you see the episode of californication where chuck bass plays a gay character who is obsessed with vampires and david duchovny?

buffy

im pretty sure i wasnt allowed to watch this when it came out, then i watched it anyway when i was spending the night out and it scared me a lot. now i love this movie and was so glad to see it on tv today. also it was hillary swank's first feature film appearance.

xoxo kristy swanson