an open letter to ciara

Hi Ciara,

Let me start with saying that you had me at "My goodies, my goodies, my goodies, not MY goodies." So, you can imagine my disappointment when I heard your new snoozefest of a song. You clearly thought all you needed to do was get Justin in the room and the rest would take care of itself. Well, listen, even JT makes mistakes sometimes.

Anyway, I just want you to know that if you wanted Beyonce's fringe glasses so badly, you could've just asked her. I'm sure she wouldn't have minded. And that pole you're dancing on...it doesnt even have a light inside. Trust me, I know what it feels like to wish you were Beyonce. We all do. Most of us just try to be a little less conspicuous about it.

Sincerely,
Team Beyonce