09 March 2010

swans want to kill you


I know, you probably haven't thought about swans recently. Why would you?! But one thing is sure, you will run into them again in your life--most likely at a park that has some kind of lake or water in it.

Some things you might not know about swans: a male is known as a cob, and a female is called a pen, and the young are called cygnets. But that's where the cool things about swans end.

Other information about swans reveals that they are totally messed up. Like how most swans swim with just one leg, with the other leg tucked up under them. Thats just asymmetrical! The really bad thing about swans is how they pretend to be all cool and stuff but are really total freakshows.

Some firsthand facts: a cool friend's mother was chased by a swan in a park in Hamburg. I know, you think this couldn't happen to you, but it can and it will. My friend's mother's mistake? Trying to feed the mallard behind the swan. That angry, possessive, irrationally aggressive swan chased that nice 40 year old woman trying to eat her ham sandwich.

Bottom line: don't trust 'em.

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