chipotle tweeted a masturbation joke?

Eating a burrito left handed is like being fed by a stranger.

— Chipotle (@ChipotleTweets) September 1, 2015

tweet beat

When I started at Gawker 3 years ago, "Bye, Felicia" wasn't even a thing. But now it is and I'm leaving so bye, Felicia!!!!

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) July 28, 2015

best of luck in all of your future endeavors, caity!

her colleague had some nice things to say about her.

tweet beat

Wrote a song abt Gawker & asked Will Smith to record it http://t.co/BBMXcO5Ixp Pretty close but instead of keyboard imagine demons' screams

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) July 22, 2015

When the gospel choir comes in at the end of "Unwritten," I simply wail.

— Bryan Safi (@bryansafi) July 21, 2015

baby goats taking over the world pic.twitter.com/gZsxFdnWdd

— Baby Animals (@BabyAnimalPics) July 22, 2015

someone shuffled off to buffalo and got trayupped!

@DeltaAssist @Delta why was flight DL6204 canceled? No reason was given.

— thomas wilhelm (@_thomas_wilhelm) July 21, 2015

@DeltaAssist no, I booked myself on 7:02 flight that's delayed until 8:25, almost 5 hours after my original flight. Will I ever get home?

— thomas wilhelm (@_thomas_wilhelm) July 21, 2015

she's going to miss RHoNYC. #trapqueen

tweet beat

I just put some fake candles in my non-working fireplace. (That's code for dildas in my old cootre)

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) July 10, 2015

I have a theory that when Beyoncé dies it will be revealed that Blue Ivy has a SECRET first name beginning with H to make her initials HBIC

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) July 7, 2015

flashbacks watching @julieklausner at @JoesPub last night. I didn't take any pictures but it looked like this pic.twitter.com/SGzIFrB5sO

— joel v melton (@JVMmonogram) July 14, 2015

(retweeted by @julieklausner)

tweet beat.

Song of the Summer, @CountessLuann!!!!! 💖💖💖💖😎😎😎😎

— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) June 24, 2015

There might need to be an adult toy store called Hole Foods.

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) June 20, 2015

A backpack but it has wings attached to it so u can fly RT @MarthaStewart What products would you like to see at your local Petsmart store?

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) June 24, 2015

tweet beat

Every minute I spend at work is like walkin on sunshine. My feet burning up and dissolving. The glowing hot plasma cooking my blood. :) TGIF

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) June 10, 2015

I gave you a long back rub. Yours better not be bullshit. pic.twitter.com/hPuK7UjsXe

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) June 9, 2015

My hobbies include chewy textures and canceling plans.

— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) June 6, 2015

tweet beat

Hudson Valley Ballers Otra Vez is HAPPENING! Truth Basset is holding out for more treats. pic.twitter.com/8on2eVoPaB

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) May 18, 2015

Can't believe it's Red Nose Day already.

— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) May 20, 2015

Went to my hometown local news website to see what was new in Harrisburg. The answer is: Fucking E V E R Y T H I N G. pic.twitter.com/WoNBsmI6oq

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) May 16, 2015

tweet beat

new blog featch get excited.

Spring can really take it out of a spirited hound. pic.twitter.com/80nCaBSCQs

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) May 11, 2015

THIS COFFEE TABLE BOOK IS BROKEN pic.twitter.com/lqe5mMHcyy

— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) May 11, 2015

I see no one spent the winter practicing how to throw a frisbee; everyone instead learning right now today in the middle of a crowded park.

— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) May 10, 2015