if you can spare a moment from your very busy day, read this article about billy eichner

everything you ever wanted to know about Billy on the street.

that explains a lot.

from the new yorker. there's more, including a princess manor shout-out.

bonus link: how yelpers talk about restaurants in greenpoint vs. bed-stuy (hint: racist).

miss, for a dollar

Possibly the best response to me anyone has ever had on Billy on the Street. Sending her love and light. pic.twitter.com/J5MyRuDKBk

— billy eichner (@billyeichner) November 13, 2015

the new yorker radio hour

co-produced with wnyc. it's wonderful. 

there have been two episodes so far, and the guests have included kirsten gillibrand, ta-nehesi coates, alison williams, jorge ramos, and amy schumer. you can listen  HERE and HERE.

long read

you have maybe heard about how california will break off into the ocean at any moment, but did you know there is a 10-33% chance that the entire pacific northwest will break off into the ocean within the next 50 years?

READ IT.

nyc anniversary for this big green lady

Lady Liberty arrived in New York 130 years ago today. http://t.co/FPaZO0Ggnb pic.twitter.com/nCrbWiEXDT

— NYT Archives (@NYTArchives) June 17, 2015

peter eisenmann used to call shigeru ban sugar bear

that story and more in this new yorker article

hey new yorker...

FUCK you!

that's right, i said it. the magazine reported today that snoozing is losing.

It may seem like you’re giving yourself a few extra minutes to collect your thoughts. But what you’re actually doing is making the wake-up process more difficult and drawn out. If you manage to drift off again, you are likely plunging your brain back into the beginning of the sleep cycle, which is the worst point to be woken up—and the harder we feel it is for us to wake up, the worse we think we’ve slept. (via)

i do plan on milking the excuses of "sleep inertia" and "social jetlag" for all they're worth, though.

ugh, mornings.

2pzGifGuide - Bonus Round for Classy 2Pz Gif Givers

(perhaps only Thomas Wilhelm is in this demographic)

Marking the only time buying books online saves a real live bookstore, the St. Mark's Bookshop is hosting an online auction to raise funds for their future move out of a pricey space owned by Cooper Union. Up on the auction block are signed books from classy New York authors like Junot Diaz, Paul Auster, Patti Smith, and David Byrne. Perfect for your favorite Rockefeller or Astor descendant. Just don't bid on that signed copy of Maus by Art Spiegelman, because I've got my eye on it.

2Pz national treasure

joel's recent installment reminded me that i've been meaning to share this comprehensive look at the acting career of claire danes, who obviously qualifies for national treasure status. it's really old (from before the homeland season 3 premiere), but richard lawson had told me that he just read it, so you can stuff your comments in a christmas stocking.

2Pz long-ish reads

i recommend these articles to you personally.

this one is written by david sedaris about his sister's suicide, but don't worry. it's full of laughs.

Unlike the cottages of our youth, this one did not have a maid’s room. It was too new and fancy for that, as were the homes that surrounded it. Traditionally, all the island houses were on stilts, but more and more often now the ground floors are filled in. They all have beachy names and are painted beachy colors, but most of those built after Hurricane Fran hit the coast, in 1996, are three stories tall and look almost suburban. This place was vast and airy. The kitchen table sat twelve, and there was not one but two dishwashers. All the pictures were ocean-related: seascapes and lighthouses, all with the airborne “V”s that are shorthand for seagull. A sampler on the living-room wall read, “Old Shellers Never Die, They Simply Conch Out.” On the round clock beside it, the numbers lay in an indecipherable heap, as if they’d come unglued. Just above them were printed the words “Who cares?” (via)

this one is the new yorker's take on college football fandom in alabama, or as they call it, "mayhem". it's real snooty, and i loved reading it.

Then there is the fact that, like any one person or institution, the state is rightly proud of the thing in which it is most successful. After the game, Auburn’s athletic director declared that, if his team wins next week’s S.E.C. championship, against Missouri, it would be “a disservice to the nation” were Auburn to be left out of the national championship. (Barring losses, Florida State and Ohio State seem likely to face off in that game.) It’s a ridiculous sentiment, but one I sympathize with: there is no other moment, save for regularly scheduled football games and unscheduled tragedies, like the tornados that struck Tuscaloosa in 2011, when the state of Alabama has the attention of their three hundred and nine million fellow Americans. Who are we, in parts of the country with professional sports to cheer and (relatively) thriving economies to enjoy, to deny Alabamans a bit of crowing? (via)

and while we're discussing things you should and should not read:

i know it seems like something you should avoid, and i did avoid it for a couple of days, but my morbid curiosity won out in the end, and i read the nymag "my abortion" feature. i have to say it was quite illuminating and moving at times and only contained a couple of medical nightmares, so i encourage you, especially, to check it out.

BUT.

whatever you do, do NOT read this new yorker piece about a woman who had a late-term miscarriage while traveling in mongolia. do. NOT. i haven't been able to close my eyes all week.

a lovely facelift for the new yorker

the video is annoyingly set to autoplay, so click here to learn all about it.

the anthony weiner new yorker cover

(via)

bolshoi juice

i'm halfway through this article detailing the inner workings of the bolshoi ballet, moscow's storied dance company, in light of the recent acid attack on its artistic director. it's riveting and i recommend it if you're in the mood for some longform.

At around eleven, Filin, feeling tired and eager to see his wife, steered the Mercedes into a parking lot outside his building and headed for his door. The snow was icy and thick. Filin was reaching for the security buzzer when he heard someone behind him call out his name. Then the voice said, “Tebye privet!”—literally, “Hello to you!,” but more abrupt and menacing, as though someone were relaying an ominous greeting from a third party.

Filin turned and saw a man in front of him. He was neither tall nor short. He wore a woolly hat and a scarf wrapped around his face. His right arm was crooked behind him, as if he were concealing something.

A gun, Filin thought, in that flash of confrontation: He’s holding a gun and I am dead. Bolt! But, before he could move, his attacker swung his arm out in front of him. In his hand was a glass jar filled with liquid, and he hurled its contents at Filin’s face. A security camera in the parking lot fixed the time at 23:07. (via)

did you ever wonder how rihanna's sausage is made?

well you're in for a treat because the new yorker spent a few thousand words trying to figure out who are the movers and shakers that create contemporary pop music. if you read it, then we can talk about it next time we are drinking beers together.

the latest new yorker cover

get it?

ctm.

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
"Oh my God, this is too hard! It's a tie between Amy Poehler and Peter Stuyvesant."
-rachel dratch

longer interview here.

take two of these and call me in the morning.

roger ebert won the new yorker caption contest! here's an article about his numerous previous attempts.

hey, did you read that scientology story in the new yorker?

in the latest issue, there is a 28-page-long expose, inspired by director paul haggis's 30+ year involvement in the church, which ultimately ended in his leaving. it took me about 3 hours to read, but it really is quite riveting. it even made the approval matrix! i really liked the end of it.



above is an interview with the author on npr's fresh air, detailing the incredible amount of fact-checking that accompanied the publishing of the article.