YAS THAT'S FUNNY

Melania giving Michelle her speech back pic.twitter.com/wADXYZfKrh

— ʎǝɔunɐɥɔ 🌐 (@chauncey_murphy) January 20, 2017

burn city

burn burn city.

manatee advice

Still the best. pic.twitter.com/bi0VMBvNEA

— EwaaaAAARRRGGHHHHH~~ (@EwaSR) August 17, 2016

tell me how you really feel...

jerry saltz did NOT care for the bjork show at MoMA and seems to be kind of mad in general:

That sadness has mushroomed into dejection of late. Since 2004, when it reopened in its bland new Taniguchi building, many art-world conversations about New York museums circle back to and then plunge into people's pain, anger, sadness, and frustration about the Museum of Modern Art. On the one hand, the museum has the greatest collection of modern art on Earth. It always will. Yet not only is most of this collection permanently held captive in storage, what little of it is on view is seen in perhaps the most unpleasant viewing conditions in any major museum in the world — in far too few galleries that are far too small and poorly designed. Then there's the museum's twisted bid to transform itself into something like a multiplex mall, specializing in whiz-bang pop-cultural events. Now comes a Diller Scofidio + Renfro expansion plan meant to fix the problems it created in 2004, which looks much more likely to exacerbate them. (via)

you can have all my mittens

People are being urged to donate mittens to help koalas with burned paws http://t.co/DzwRVNdxbt pic.twitter.com/R7Im2pEPBm

— BuzzFeed (@BuzzFeed) January 9, 2015

shout out murfree(r?)sboro

John Mulaney is going to be one of the biggest names in comedy for years to come. If you don't know him from his stand-up or his work as a writer on SNL (he created Stefon with Bill Hader), you'll know him soon enough. On Sunday, his new neo-Seinfeld-ian sitcom Mulaney will premiere on Fox, and last night he stopped by The Tonight Show to promote it. In addition to telling the story of how he got Ice-T to read his new show's intros, he shared what has to be one of the greatest stand-up comedian heckle stories of all time. It involves an unpronounceable Tennessee town, a beer truck, and some unexpected Southern eloquence. Check it out above. We can only hope Mulaney will be as funny as its star. (via)

aw.

@AnnaKendrick47 @ChoMatic she once said my tats looked like Michael J Fox drew them and Stevie Wonder filled them in <3
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) September 4, 2014

SHADE.

(via)

better stock up on your sriracha

A Los Angeles Superior Court judge believes that the humans of Irwindale, California, are more important than Sriracha, the life-giving hot sauce with the comforting rooster on the bottle. That judge ordered the company that makes Sriracha hot sauce to shut down its Irwindale processing plant, which local residents say produced fumes that burned their eyes and throats. (via)

australia is burning up into a crispy crisp.

have you heard? are the koalas' pawz ok?!! i demand a comment from the prahm meeyinistah!!

hands off, mittens.

Governor Romney:

I created the TV show “Friday Night Lights” and came up with the phrase “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose.”

I was not thrilled when I saw that you have plagiarized this expression to support your campaign by using it on posters, your Facebook page and as part of your stump speeches. Your politics and campaign are clearly not aligned with the themes we portrayed in our series.

The only relevant comparison that I see between your campaign and “Friday Night Lights” is in the character of Buddy Garrity – who turned his back on American car manufacturers selling imported cars from Japan. Your use of the expression falsely and inappropriately associates “Friday Night Lights” with the Romney/Ryan campaign. Mitt, we all wish you and your family all the best. We are grateful for your support of our beloved show, but we are not in any way affiliated with you or your campaign. Please come up with your own campaign slogan.

Sincerely
Peter Berg

(via)

burn.

y'all might've heard about the hot new twitter, @CondeElevator, which broadcasts events and conversations witnessed in the elevators of conde nast's building in times square. it's become an internet hit, so of course the company (and everyone) is dilligently searching for its author. whoever's running the twitter has indicated that for fear of being fired, he or she is retiring.

this might be the best part:

Meanwhile, the Post points out that the feed is far more successful than many of Condé's own digital ventures. Since its launch on Saturday, it has already gathered 45,000 Twitter followers, which is more than twice that of Details (20,000) and approaching that of Allure (55,000) and Glamour (86,000). So basically, whoever is writing this thing should get promoted. (via)

quotes from ladies.

reading sarah palin's spoken words on paper kind of feels similar to trying to pull a hidden image out of a magic eye poster...

""No administration in America's history would I think ever have considered such a step that we just found out that President Obama is supporting today.

You know that's kinda like getting out there on the playground, a bunch of kids ready to fight and one of the kids saying 'Go ahead, punch me in the face and I'm not going to retaliate. Go ahead and do what you want to with me.'"
-sarah palin

don't worry, he burned her up.

""I really have no response to that. Last I checked, Sarah Palin's not much of an expert on nuclear issues."
-barack obama

UPDATE: sarah palin again mocks the president by suggesting that he is the one who lacks the credentials to dictate nuc-ular policy because he is nothing but a part time senator/ community organizer. (click here)

...one thing that she forgot to mention in his resume is that he is the president of the united states, in constant communication with the secretary of defense and the joint chiefs of staff.

burn.

new york times op-ed columnist bob herbert burns the GOP up alive:

This is the party of trickle down and weapons of mass destruction, the party of birthers and death-panel lunatics. This is the party that genuflects at the altar of right-wing talk radio, with its insane, nauseating, nonstop commitment to hatred and bigotry.

Glenn Beck of Fox News has called President Obama a “racist” and asserted that he “has exposed himself as a guy, over and over and over again, who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture.”

Mike Huckabee, a former Republican presidential candidate, has said of Mr. Obama’s economic policies: “Lenin and Stalin would love this stuff.”

The G.O.P. poisons the political atmosphere and then has the gall to complain about an absence of bipartisanship. (via)

what did you do this weekend?

i did this around 4:30am saturday night.

thx liz!

more like channing taint-um!

hunky carol channing tatum is the cover star for this months issue of details. inside, he relays a little story from the set of "the eagle of the ninth" [to be released in 2010] :

"Tatum was pretend-soldiering one raw, wet October day in the Scottish Highlands. The action required him to wade in ice-cold water, which, despite a high-tech wetsuit, could be withstood for only a few minutes. 'The only way to keep warm was by pouring a mix of boiling water and river water down your suit. We were finally done shooting for the day, and one of the crew guys asks if I want to warm up before I go. I'm like, Nah, I'm good. And then I thought, Why not? Thing is, he'd forgotten to dilute the kettle water. So he poured scalding water down my suit. And I was trying to pull the suit away from my body to somehow get away from the boiling water, and the more I pulled the suit away, the lower the water went. It just went straight down and pretty much burned the skin off the head of my dick.'" sad!

the obvious question should be, why couldn't the crew just use warm, non-penis-burning water? oh well, hind sight is 20/20. [details]

kiffin gets it. hard.

gene wojciechowski of espn says what everyone's thinking:

If there were a stock car race between all the frauds, egomaniacs and two-faced weasels I've ever covered, Lane Kiffin would have the pole position all to himself.

Kiffin is a spin doctor without a medical degree. He thinks truth comes in different shades of gray. He demands loyalty, but gives none himself.

Kiffin is a used car salesman with a whistle. Wait, that's not fair to used car salesmen. He ditched Tennessee for USC after just 13 games. The remaining five years on his contract, the players he left behind, the nine high school recruits who enrolled early, they all meant nothing to Kiffin. (via)

thx char.

the gay[er] gap ad

i refuse to embed the original one because i can't stand those shrill prepubescent girls. but if you haven't seen it (which i'm sure you have) you can subject yourself to it here.

guuuuuuuurrrrrlllll

burnt up alive

via