just something i found while inventing a new olympic event called "summer pony" over the weekend

mondays w/ kylie

me walkin' into work today, after last night's mad men.

sorry, flim.

M$D∆NG€L$ presents SHOTGUN CHAR'S SPIRIT ANIMAL

alternate title for this post is 

"This is how I will sound after I get wasted at Melissa's wedding"

this is what i always assume will happen when i get in a kayak.

ooohhh nooooooooooooo.

thx brother ben!

what brunch in murray hill is like

(via)

fave part is that one soberer friend's cab-hailing stance at 1:09.

what is it, disaster week or something?

first, the mysterious missing malaysian airliner, then the exploding building (which, jicyww, could happen anywhere at any time), and now this.

Early Thursday morning, a driver fleeing a DUI check point crashed into a crowd of people at the South by Southwest festival in Austin, killing two and injuring 23 others. (via)

has anyone checked the levels in the disaster eggs...

drunk in love, emoji edition

thx dale!

we are so lucky.

surfboard.

this guy is my soulmate

popcorn

help get these two drunk bitches to knoxville

The Today show will be live on campus Wednesday, and this is your chance to be seen on national TV! UT is one of six finalists in Today‘s “Kathie Lee and Hoda Go Back to College” challenge. We’re now in competition to have the show broadcast live from campus in early October. A Today reporter will be doing live segments from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m. on Wednesday from the south side of Ayres Hall to introduce UT to viewers and promote the competition. You are invited to be part of that broadcast. So wear your orange and turn out to prove to Today viewers that UT has the best college spirit in America. For more about the challenge and to vote for UT, visit the Today website. The other five finalists are Syracuse University, The Ohio State University, Brandeis University, the University of South Florida, and Creighton University. (via)

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

#nobodyslookingatyourpants

drunk uncle

GO AWAY!!!

Paul William "Bear" Bryant is Spinning in His Grave!

This is some week-old news, but it seems when Bama fans aren't destroying public property, Bama alumni are sexually assaulting unconscious strangers in public.  I can't say I'm surprised.  This quote from CBS 42 in Birmingham sums up the incident using an excellent choice of words [emphasis mine]:

It all stems from a video that went viral showing [Brian] Downing and friends abusing a passed out LSU fan in a burger restaurant on Bourbon Street after the BCS game. Downing's companions performed a series of pranks on the passed out LSU fan and then the man identified now as Downing proceeded to drape his scrotum on the man's head...that led to the sexual battery and obscenity charges.

Here's the NSFW video:



CBS 42 also gives us some insight into who Downing is:

So who is Brian Downing and how did he find himself with both notoriety and a possible lifetime designation as a sex offender? He's married with a wife, a (sic) child. He's already been fired from his job with Hibbett Sports. And he has a second cousin who’s the sheriff of Russell County...Russell County Sheriff Heath Taylor recognized his cousin in the video and told him to come on down to the county jail. After checking with New Orleans police, Downing drove to New Orleans to turn himself in.

Fun Fact : Deadspin is reporting that one of the other "gentlemen" in the video is the son of the sports director at the CBS affiliate in Mobile.  So there's something to be proud of all around.

If you want more details on this story, Deadspin has plenty of thorough coverage.

I said it once, and I'll say it again; it's time to DIG HIM UP...F HIS CORPSE!

what a wonderful christmas story!

“Gossip Girl” star Ed Westwick took out the trash the other night at the Barrow Street Alehouse in the West Village. The British actor stepped in to remove an unruly patron who knocked all of the drinks off the bar (joel?) after the bartender refused to serve him Guinness. “Ed lifted him up by the collar and dragged him out,” a spy said, adding that after Westwick removed the “aggressive and violent” boozer, he calmly returned to his group of friends “like nothing happened.” (via)

where'd kylie go?

she gone picked up her new cornhole bags. "if that ain't love, then tell me what is"

how aggressive

“having sex at 85 miles per hour while drunk on a freeway is willful and wanton negligence.”


85 miles an hour. cruise control. drunk driving. having sex. in the back seat.
story

from @dantrharne

Girl drunk dials boy the same night she gets his number.

let's see just how smart you are

i only got 3 out of 10 right.

what starla is like at bennys burritos

via

bear, chillin in the car to the max

“I live on a ranch where there are lots of bears…there was one that learned how to open open door handles. It got in and the wind must have shut the door, it got into 3 other peoples cars before getting shut in mine. it drank 4 beers, ate a bottle of mallox, and crapped all over the place.”
via

country strong

best movie ever? maybe. i think gwyneth should move to nashville and pick up a drinking problem and start calling herself kelly. make. it. real.