huh.

curly sue won the voice for team christina

no, for real.

I only found this out because I was trying to find a video of the Aguilera-Grande duet.

You know, Christina was supposed to duet with a hologram of Whitney Houston, but the Whitney Houston estate decided that the hologram didn't look good enough (side eye) so they replaced her with Ariana Grande.

daily ri ri

Alert: @rihanna will be an advisor on #TheVoice this season.

— Vulture (@vulture) August 13, 2015

THE VOICE REPORT FINALE AND WINNER EDITION

i hope that you haven't tired of my voice reports. this is probably the first time i've watched a full season all the way to the end. and i worked late monday which means i watched all four hours of the last two episode in succession last night. so i am going to hit you with all my favorites in a row, and there's a bunch, so buckle up.

jicyww, the first of two finale episodes included each finalist doing a traditional performance of a song selected by the coach, one duet with the coach, and one original songwriter-written song picked by the coach (matt wrote his own).


boyfriends chris jamison and adam levine do robin thicke's maybe-best-song "lost without u".


here's what damien as an actual solo artist might look like, singing a max martin-penned original song "soldier". boring.


more falsetto in matt's duet with adam singing an adam levine song from some movie?


we were also treated to chris jamison doing some timberlake.

on to the second part of the finale, which was an amazing collection of guest performances, some including contestants. there was so much to see here.


if you've never seen hozier do "take me to church" live, you should check this out. talk about the VOICE.


watch bruno mars do that funk song in CURLERS!!!!


damien joined j-hud for one of her songs and omg she looks incredible!


and i absolutely loved this performance by jessie j with chris j.

you may have noticed that nowhere in this post was craig wayne boyd mentioned. despite my complete lack of interest in his brand of musicianship, he won the voice. so WHATEVER. #teamelyjuh

i did love his "bring back" performance with fellow contestants danica, taylor brashears, and sugar joans. worth a watch.

also, please do not miss gwen vamping in this little christmas diddy by the coaches.

see y'all next season!

the voice report

well well well, the stylists at the voice certainly took pantone's 2015 color of the year very seriously. everyone in the top 5 was basically dressed in head-to-toe chicken marsala.


lets begin where it ended, the last performance by chris jamison, dressed as mentioned. he's singing bruno mars' "when i was your man", which is confusing because bruno mars is clearly a lady.


hands down, my fave performance of the night was taylor john's take on taylor swift's hit "blank space". as you can see, he's also wearing chicken marsala.


and damien, who i've always said sings flawlessly but is boring, finally did something i could get behind. and that is a pAuLa CoLe cover!!!! omg i just loooooooved it.

watch them all at the voice's youtube channel. gawker recap here!

tonight, two more will be cut. then they will add back someone from the top 12, based on america's vote. it better be a woman (not you, sugar joans).

the voice report

omg you guys last night was sooooooo good. did you know that of the top 8, there is only one lady left? that lady is danica, and she is amazing. she did just fine with pharell's choice of legendary 80s female pop-duo heart's (!) "these dreams", but it was just nothing compared to these three performances:


adam asked his boyfriend chris to sing "sexual healing" just for him.


i continue to love taylor john's re-arrangements, and this version of "royals" was just wonderful.


and good luck not crying during matt's "the blower's daughter"

they are cutting three tonight, and my predictions are: ryan / craig wayne boyd / damien

gawker recap here (she nails it this week, but doesn't she always?)

the voice report

i hope its ok with you all if i don't go into too much detail this time. i'm still reeling from the loss of elyjuh. his absence was painful and palpable last night. i didn't like anyone's performance that much. anyone else's best performance would pale in comparison to elyjuh's worst. i'll try to move on soon, but for now:


there's this, wherein glasses shows off his screamy side.


this, wherein danica flawlessly if not boringly executes a jazzy radiohead cover.


and this, wherein chris sings everyone's new favorite nick jonas song, and bros out mid-performance with adam about how sexy and beautiful he is.

gawker recap here (wherein luke messes up real bad but pulls it off anyway).

'jealous' remix feat tinashe here (wherein she says her own name so now we know once-and-for-all).

#teamelyjuh

TRAGEDY STRIKES

elyjuh has been voted off the voice. pharrell, you are dead2me.

#RIP

the voice report

it's the first week of "live playoffs". right now, every coach has 8 members. monday night, team adam and team blake all sang, and last night it was team gwen and team pharell. this is the first week america gets to vote (i did.), and tonight they announce 2 winners from each team. then each coach picks two more, leaving each team with 4. now you know everything.

so i'll tell you my favorite from each team, and tonight we'll see if i have what it takes to become america's next top voice-winner predictor.


team adam's best was...damien.


team blake's best was...james david.


team gwen's best was...anita!


and team pharell's best OF COURSE IT WAS ELYJUH OMG #TEAMELYJUH!!

honorable mentions to hat taylor and girl taylor.

pharell debuted a new gwen stefani song about feminism

he played it off of his cell phone! i think it sounds awesome.

i wonder if they'll perform it tonight on the voice.

the voice report

so last night, you'll never believe this, but elyjuh kind of sucked it up. he decided to sing an unimpressive chris brown song, and here's what i'll say. the lyrics were all about a boy who really loves a girl, and all of the coaches basically had the same criticism: "this is not your story. you need to sing your story." so.

pharell still picked him as the winner, keeping him on his team for reasons of "unfulfilled potential"................................................................................


the loser of the knockout, despite clearly winning, was ricky who killed "wrecking ball". he received some admittedly excellent performance advice from taylor swift, and it really paid off. gwen stole him right away and declared "i feel like i just won the voice!"


my fave performance of the night was taylor john's rendition of "mad world".

gawker recap here.

the voice report

taylor swift is a guest coach on the judge on the voice this week, everybody. y'all know how i feel about her, but i kept my mind open. she was a helpful, competent advisor, and also a total weirdo. she made adam look stupid, which i liked. she seemed legitimately nervous around pharell and gwen, which i also liked.


this was my fave performance of the night, and it somehow wasn't good enough to stay. at this point, i would like to go on record by saying "trend alert": the judges have allowed three (3) excellent black female performers to be eliminated. i don't care for this trend.


also, this. this guy's probs my second fave (#teamelyjuh).


and i'll show you this one because i can't stand this bitch, but the coaches think she's just great. this is the second ellie goulding song she's done in a row and i wish she'd stop it.

if you're #teamelyjuh don't worry, he will be performing tonight. in the preview they show gwen making a dramatic steal, after which she stands up and exclaims "i feel like i just won the voice!" wonder what that's about.

gawker recap.

the voice report

well last night was GREAT. and i have three favorites this time.


the first performance of the ep was this team adam pairing of energetic damian and really-good-but-a-little-too-meek kelli. they performed it pretty flawlessly, but she really didn't stand a chance. pharell was all "YAAAAASSSS".


i also really loved this version of "yellow" by matt and ethan. matt's a poor kid who chokes up when he says he just wants to be able to take care of his mom, so i am always rooting for him.


and if you only watch one performance from the night, you're going to want to watch toya and danica go to TOWN on "halo". the magic of this one was when, once again, alicia keys solved the riddle of how to make the performance great, by asking them "whose halo do you see?" and they both ended up having dead dads and started sobbing. then pharell said things like "sing it like you're in the bathroom" and "you're both standing there like backup singers but YOU ARE STARS." and then they killt it.

last round of battles tonight. gwen has one steal left, even though she keeps trying to last-second-steal adam's steals. not really working for her. and at this point i'm kind of glad because she is making interesting (terrible) choices with her team and i don't usually care for the results.

gawker recap here.

oh and you guys.... gwen stefani has a new song!

UPDATE: and a new video!

more voice battlez

there was another hour of the voice last night, and things were just fine. but i'd rather show you a second fave from monday night (also team pharell). what you don't see in the clip (which is why you should just be watching all of it), is when the two singers are doing everything perfectly, but no one's really feeling it. and alicia keys has an idea. she asks the band to play the "aretha franklin version" of the song. luke exclaims that he didn't even know that existed, to which alicia replies "we just invented it."

then everyone let their souls shine and it all came together. thx AK.

side note: griffin is from nashville and designs bowties. luke got his eye shot out by a paintball when he was a kid.

monday recap
tuesday recap

the voice report

THE BATTLE ROUNDS HAVE STARTED. this is all you need to know from last night!

second night of battle rounds TONIGHT!

#teamelyjuh

the voice report

well all the teams are set. last night didn't have really any contestants that i got super excited about. no elyjuhs, iykwim. i guess if i had to pick a best, it would be this southern white girl who murdered a beyonce song.

my favorite would probably be this teenager who had the good sense to sing some macy gray, which we all know is a crowd pleaser.

now that it's all said and done, i think that pharell has the most talented team, and will have a great chance at winning. i will be pulling for gwen, of course. she pulled out the "you like clothes?" bribe on another woman just because she's a woman last night, and that gag never gets old for me.

next week, we start the battle rounds, and the coaches bring in helpers! gwen trots out her husband gavin, which. and there was a preview of what happens when elyjuh (#teamelyjuh) sees pharell's guest coach, alicia keys. he lets out the highest pitched scream i've ever heard and my heart just soared! also, STEVIE NICKS IS COMING!!! this is a perfect time for you to start watching if you haven't already.

read the gawker recap here.

read about stevie nicks making HAIM her moon sisters here.

the voice report

well last night's ep was a bit underwhelming, i have to say. i'll share the best one, a jamaican gal that sounds exactly like lauryn hill. which is a good thing because we defs need a new one of those.

you can read about the rest here.

the voice report

last night brought another incredibly entertaining blind auditions ep. this was the obvious standout performance from a seasoned back-up and session singer, who has maybe the world's most flawlessly supportive mother. the only thing better than her performance was gwen's shameless recruiting tactics. "you like fashion?"

i will note that i don't think i've once seen gwen be the first to push her button, though.

gawker round-up here.


 UPDATE!!!!

This is awesome - @MaiyaSykes1 who sang the #BillyontheStreet theme song killed on The Voice last night!! CONGRATS!! https://t.co/NEtIi7VWaQ
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) September 25, 2014

please welcome...

...my official early favorite voice contestant, elyjuh rene!

he is 18 and adorable and loves his mom and has braces and sang beyonce and picked pharell to be his coach and it was thrilling. it should be noted that i watched the first ep of the season last night and the new judges have wonderfully entertaining banter and gwen is still amazing and pharell is the sweeeeetest. second episode is on tonight if you wanna get in early.

bonus link: all 4 judges perform "hella good" together.

have you heard that gwen stefani is going to be a voice coach this year?

here she is in a lip-sync battle with fellow coach blake shelton on jimmy fallon.