YAS THAT'S FINE.

Two minds. Compare. Contrast.

What have we lost … pic.twitter.com/t7SmgHbcB0

— Greg Greene (@ggreeneva) January 18, 2017

thursday vibez

me: im not doing any more work today!
if anyone tries to make me work again today, im going to forfeit this weekend's football game
Joel: LOL
me: i've created a safe space and everyone must respect it
Joel: triggers include
elevation
sketch
detail
contractor
me: hardware, bar grilles, laminate
the word "paint"
the words "diaper changing station"
Joel: proposal
contract
me: for your review. no comments, please.

why i killed emilube.

this morning i woke up to news on instagram that nirvana played a secret show at a bar in greenpoint after their rock and roll hall of fame induction at barclays last night. guest singers included joan jett, kim gordon, and annie clark.

then i walked into work and emilube goes "guess what i did last night."

and then i killed her and now she's dead.

(before she passed away, she told me that she stood next to carrie brownstein.)

vol-pride

When the image began to go viral, he confirmed that the picture was of a group of friends from the University of Tennessee. (via)

the worst octopus video i have seen today

did you know that an octopus can fit under your door and come strangle you in the night?

rodents of unusual size

as if we didn't have enough to think about with rent due, earthquakes and hurricanes...

this giant rat was killed (with a pitchfork??!????) at the Marcy Houses (where Jay-Z is from) in Brooklyn. I can literally see the Marcy Houses from my bedroom window.

from melissa:
"where do you think those rats are going to go when their houses get flooded?!?
better carry a pitchfork
or maybe a TRIDENT! "
(see what i did there)"

me: "like Finnick"

Melissa: "yep. Just like Finnick"

too hot for chips.

well, hotpocalypse is in full swing. today's forecast includes a high of 97, with a feels-like 105. that's degrees. farenheit. we've also got an "excessive heat warning", which i read is only issued for very extreme combinations of heat and humidity.

now, i know what you southerners are thinking. "that's not so bad. y'all are a bunch of babies. it's worse here." but let me tell you about a little something called an "air quality warning." we've got one of those going, too. i don't know what it means in science terms, but i do know that this morning the entire city smelled like one gigantic, garbage-y queef. i sidestepped a pile of vomit on my way to work, which sparked a lengthy chicken-and-egg debate inside my head.

all of that being said, i'd like to pass along this article featuring the city's best frozen treat offerings. if you can bear to be outside over the next few days, maybe you can check out these spots for some relief.

omf.

oh and jicydak...

these cost $104 now. ;(

monday.

spotted : garbage kills bears

spotted by blake

U2 non sequitor

f you, facebook.

that's the last thing i need.

i mean, jesus.

"is this a joke?"

Elliott Yamin - New Music - More Music Videos

that's what i said out loud when this monstrosity showed up on my tv screen this morning. worst music video i've seen in quite some time. enjoy.

ps - upon further investigation, i found that apparently he's some sort of american idol contestant. which explains a lot. but still.

kill me now.

i'm going to have to stop watching the 4th hour of the today show because of this commercial alone.

eight-seven-SEVen, three-nine-three

FOUR.

FOUR.

FOUR.

EIIIGGGGHHHTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

vomasaurus rex

the new hot mess from heidi montag. (dlisted)

what is wrong with her.