long read(s)

y'all should check out this NYT series that is underway, called the outlaw ocean. so far there are 4 pieces, all presented in their interactive format. so far, my favorite is the latest one, in which the sea shepherd vessel, the bob barker, of whale wars fame, chases one of the world's most wanted illegal trawlers called tHe ThUnDeR!!!111

READ IT.

the fall, season 2

Hi America. 2nd series of @TheFallTV now available on @netflix . Cancel all your plans and enjoy

— Jamie Dornan (@JamieDornan) January 16, 2015

"the bad guys stole my kitty bank"

this four year old hero can tell the difference between white people and black people.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS T SHIRT

thomas wilhelm is missing his pug t shirt. if you see anyone on the street wearing this t shirt, ask them if they took it from thomas wilhelm. cross your fingers that it shows up.

DJV is a criminal

the fit looks cute, though.

i have it on good authority that he's attempting to get himself a tennessee driver's license today. i hope they dont give him a rulez test.

britney spears : criminal

look at this ridiculous video, starring her irl bf. so you're not working the street corner tonight, i see. good one, brit. there's a higher resolution version here.

in my head, All Day Long

how creepy is hosni mubarak right now.

he enjoyed his court date today from the comfort of a caged hospital bed.

how aggressive

“having sex at 85 miles per hour while drunk on a freeway is willful and wanton negligence.”


85 miles an hour. cruise control. drunk driving. having sex. in the back seat.
story

from @dantrharne

BEAR HANDS!!!

thats really the name of the group.

SURPRISE! the Baltimore police chief hates The Wire

During a public engagement last week, Baltimore Police Commissioner Frederick H. Bealefeld described David Simon's show The Wire as "a smear on this city that will take decades to overcome." He went on to cite the tenacious and glamorous cop shows that other cities like New York, Las Vegas, and Miami are blessed with. Why doesn't Baltimore merit such pretty and hardworking cops? Hmmm.

Simon responded : "Others might reasonably argue, however that it is not sixty hours of The Wire that will require decades for our city to overcome, as the commissioner claims. A more lingering problem might be two decades of bad performance by a police agency more obsessed with statistics than substance, with appeasing political leadership rather than seriously addressing the roots of city violence, with shifting blame rather than taking responsibility."

Aaaaa-BURN.

what are you doing tonight?

according to the new york times, criminals wear yankees hats more frequently than other teams' hats:


A curious phenomenon has emerged at the intersection of fashion, sports and crime: dozens of men and women who have robbed, beaten, stabbed and shot at their fellow New Yorkers have done so while wearing Yankees caps or clothing.

Criminologists, sports marketing analysts, consumer psychologists and Yankees fans have developed their own theories, with some attributing the trend to the popularity of the caps among gangsta rappers and others wondering whether criminals are identifying with the team’s aura of money, power and success. (via)

go yankees!!

on a related note, melissa is in new york, and she's taking me to a mets game tonight! i'm going to root against them most likely, as i am a devoted yankees fan. it's because of their aura of money, power, and success. though, i'm excited to visit the new citifield. i've heard its real nice, it even has a shake shack! we're planning on having 3 or 4 dinners, so if anyone has any recommendations, let 'em fly.

after the game, we will buy some yankees gear and rob a chase bank or two.

trader joes brooklyn | crime-ridden hellhole

A thief has struck again at the Court Street Trader Joe's on Friday, nabbing a wallet from a woman's unattended purse that she left in her shopping cart. The woman didn't notice her wallet was missing until she went to check out. Last month, police caught a thief in a sting operation after multiple reports of stolen purses from that location. But the next day a thief stole a man's wallet from atop his stroller in the same store. So, can this finally be the incident that teaches people to keep an eye on their stuff in public, or at least when shopping at the crime-ridden hellhole that is Trader Joe's?

giant black bear wreaking havoc

"I have a refrigerator in the garage. He opened it up, drank a gallon of orange juice, opened the freezer above and munched two frozen pizzas and snacked on frozen chicken," Philpott said. "He broke all the shelves and racks out of the refrigerator, bit into some fruit punch and squirted it all over everywhere, then dragged the trash can outside and took a crap the size of a basketball on the front lawn."

via

cyclists vs. drivers

hooray!

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. -- Prosecutors have dropped attempted aggravated robbery charges against Tennessee freshman safety Janzen Jackson. (via)

thx bunnerz.

quit it vols

in addition to the disappointing attempted armed robbery incident last week, another Vol got caught shoplifting a brown polo shirt from Dillards.

seriously? seriously.

seriously?

Kiffin says he will run a clean program

finally.

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin has dismissed two of three freshmen players charged last week in an attempted armed robbery outside a Knoxville convenience store.

Kiffin says wide receiver Nu'Keese Richardson and defensive back Mike Edwards have been permanently dismissed from the football team.

The coach says, "Their actions have no place in our program."

Kiffin says former starting safety Janzen Jackson's status remains on hold. Kiffin says until he gets more information, Jackson will remain barred from participating in team activities. (via)

should i call the police?

i saw this story on the local news, then read about it again here on a blog...

two guys attempted to burn the rainbow flag in front of a LGBT community center in Memphis two nights ago. The cops showed up and they got into a fight with them. One of the criminals was arrested, the other escaped.

not reported in the article is the following information:

i was at a wine party two nights ago in the same neighborhood, playing wii and listening to kylie minogue with some friends when a young guy came up to the door, clearly out of breath, and said that the cops were chasing him and he needed to know how to find celtic crossing, a local bar. we gave him directions and watched him run through backyards and hop fences in the direction we had pointed. then the helicopter search lights started flashing.

hmmmm.

ugh.

UPDATE: video.

KNOXVILLE - Three University of Tennessee freshman football players this morning face attempted armed robbery charges.

Janzen Jackson, Mike Edwards and Nu'Keese Richardson, all 18, were charged this morning after an armed robbery attempt at a Pilot station on Cumberland Avenue, according to the Knoxville Police Department.

Each player faces three counts of attempted armed robbery. (via)

hey nu'keese, why dont you spend less time robbing gas stations and more time practicing your punt returns? you've been a huge let-down on special teams this year. ok?

ps, that pilot station used to be my front yard.