martha stewart's easter eggs will donkey punch your easter eggs

the eggs are naturally blue,brown and chocolate colored- they dye much more vibrantly than white eggs-mccormicks vegetable food coloring
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) March 29, 2013

BEWARE! North Korea is coming after you.

luckily, if you have the ability to use photoshop, and you've had a sandwich and some chips today, you're probably in better condition than the north korean army.

on the other hand, barack obama needs to up his game if we are going to compete with kim jon-un's severe skin fade and THREE landlines.

richard lawson might be a carpenter, because he nailed it

What I Learned Hate-Reading the Internet - Richard Lawson

before midnight trailer

(via)

oooooh gurl. my how far we've come

i sent this to faith and had her evaluate whether or not it was good enough for the blog because i lost my headphones.

ANIMALS

The performance art collective Animals chose their name less to make some sort of intellectual statement about the nature of their work, and more because of how perfectly it could be used to solicit support on Facebook. "We'd post a picture of a lemur stuck in a tree and write, 'Animals need your help!'" says Michael De Angelis, who, along with Nikki Calonge and Mike Mikos, is one of the three artistic directors of the collective.

Animals' performances are irreverent mash-ups of video, dance and puppetry--at their recent Backstage at Horror Drag, which played in New York in February, the visual language was all camp, glitter and fake blood. Inspired by the spooky Filipino drag queen Ryan Robles, the show painted a poignant -- and hilarious -- picture of performers backstage at a down-and-out drag club. "There's a similarity between them and Animals," said De Angelis. "It sometimes feels like we're making work without an audience."

Still, the performance art community has taken note. Later this month, Animals will receive the first annual Tom Murrin Performance Award (named for the late Downtown performance art legend and former Paper theater critic), presented by Steve Buscemi and Jo Andres. "We love Tom's work, and to think in some way we get to be a part of his legacy," says De Angelis, "that's a huge honor."

PAPER magazine, 2013 Beautiful People

that's Ms. Dangles!!!

success / failure

(via)

the rich lesbian widow stirrin' up troubs in washington.

if you're like me, when you heard about the upcoming supreme court case involving edie windsor and the $300,000+ estate tax she's being asked to pay for inheriting the estate of her wife, thea spyer, you thought, "those fancy-named ladies sound rrriiiiiicccccchhhhhh..."

...and you wanted to know more about their life together. nymag has a brief piece with an accompanying slideshow.

During this vacation—one of many—the pair tried to stay only in hotel rooms with water views. “[One] day, we were in the Piazza San Marco, and Thea kept protecting me from the Italian guys. Finally one of them said to her, in this strong Italian accent, ‘If you love her, kiss her!’ She didn’t, though. We were still young enough that we just hustled out.” They arrived back in New York the morning after the Stonewall riots. (via)

i hope edie gets to keep every last penny of that gay marriage $$$$$$$$$$$$

today in "why cant all commercials be like this?"

ponies + fleetwood mac = slam dunk.

finding nashville in new york city

gothamist is hip the hot new city every is buzzing about and wants to let you know that there are places in new york where you can listen to live country or blugrass music. read all about it.

also, did you know brooklyn has a country music radio channel (Nash 94.7) and that NYC is second only to Nashville in terms of country music purchases? the more you know.

someone needs to tell me where i can get a bushwacker.

thomas wilhelm wanted me to let you know that your new favorite movie is coming out in just a few weeks

music minute with ms.dangles

how fitting...

...that the video for the 2Pz song of the winter takes place in the dominican republic.

this is what it would be like to have a house inside a swiss olympic bobsled stadium

In Residence: Rolf Sachs on Nowness.com.

check it out

should you feel bad about trying to get into the Met for free?

No. They are rich, you are not.

tilda swinton is a cuckoo pants

"Museum staff doesn't know she's coming until the day of, but she's here today," a museum source told Gothamist (who also took some fun photos.) The performance, titled The Maybe, will remain "unannounced" and "random" and will last for a full day when it happens. Swinton (who's done this before in London and Rome) hasn't said anything about the piece, and MoMA's official comments only confirmed that there would be "no published schedule for its appearance, no artist's statement released, no museum statement beyond this brief context, no public profile or image issued. Those who find it chance upon it for themselves, live and in real — shared — time: now we see it, now we don't." via

joe jonas sex tape miracle

thanks to the internet, we should soon get to see the following:

  The video features explicit footage of Joe Jonas, 23, and his girlfriend, Blanda Eggenschwiler, 28, drinking, doing drugs, and engaging in sex using a number of sex toys and BDSM devices, including dildos, a gag ball, and a slapper paddle.

via

your move nick jonas.

moleskine comes to time warner center

have you ever found yourself at barnes and noble, borders, target, walmart searching for just the right notebook to hold your doodles and meeting notes and hopes and dreams and recipes?

have you ever noticed how all the ones for sale are some stupid color or have lines or grids or are in some other way exactly not what you want?

never fear, moleskine is opening their first US store in the time warner center for all of your notebook needs.

i've been calling it that for YEARS.

from a little internet number called thug kitchen.

kapoooyah!

(via)

this is the internet.

You are looking at, more or less, a portrait of the internet over an average 24 hours in 2012—higher usage in yellows and reds; lower in greens and blues—created by an anonymous researcher for the "Internet Census 2012" project. (via)

get with the nytimes

someone just figured out that there is a rabid trend spreading out of brooklyn, and it's called "cuntry ladies". guess what, ladies who are not taylor swift who make country music are getting their shit together and making music i want to listen to. and the new york times finally noticed:

Even with the same goal the two take different approaches. Ms. Musgraves’s assault is full frontal. Her indictments come with names, or at least a boatload of identifying details. They’re about the enemy. Ms. Monroe’s, on the other hand, are sung into the mirror. They’re about the enemy within. (via)

listen to kacey "muscovite" musgraves and ashley monroe today!

"we in the mud"

check out this awesome article about Zach Randolph and Marc Gasol.

"It's amazing how from when I got here to where we are now," Randolph says. "The fans have embraced us. The city's behind us. The games are crowded and almost sold out. I love this city. I can relate to them. If they trade me tomorrow, I'm still going to be in Memphis. I'm still going to be paying people's utility bills from wherever I'm at. It's always going to be my city." 

 For Gasol, this is the only way it can be. 

 "I don't think there's another way to play basketball," he says. "When you play in a city, you have to play for the people that are there. You're representing them everywhere you go. When you play in Denver, or L.A., you have Memphis across your chest. 

 I think when you play with that pride and know you're representing people at home, you play with a different mindset. It doesn't matter, it's not about you, it's about your team and the people back home." 

 That's the story of Memphis' rise to a Western power. All heart, grit grind, the blue-collar city with the blue-collar brothers down low.

wiseacre brewing co.

Click here to read this interview with Kellan and Davin Bartosch, some friends of mine who are opening a new brewery in Memphis this year.

I really appreciated the last question in the interview, because Davin's answer touches on an ongoing dialog about craft beer that Kylie and I have been having recently.

 Are you planning to offer tours?

Absolutely. We plan on doing tons of education, because it's extremely important to us. Appreciation and education go hand in hand. This may be a stretch, but take mayonnaise for example. It's really a pretty simple thing, an emulsion of oil and acid. But, if you learn how to make it, and you understand the principles at hand, then you can enjoy an amazing fresh sandwich spread, and you realize that there's much versatility in the world of mayonnaise. Hellmans is just white vinegar and vegetable oil, but you could make it with sherry vinegar and olive oil. You could throw a garlic clove in there. You could make it with lemon juice and peanut oil. You might even go so far as to make it with bacon fat and balsamic vinegar if you wanted something rich. Then you think to yourself, "Holy $@#!, I always liked mayonnaise, but this is the best mayonnaise I have ever had. I can't believe I have been haphazardly coating buns with this stuff and never thinking about what an amazing thing this is. This mayonnaise is an absolutely divine substance." We would love for more people to think about beer like I think of mayo (although it is significantly more scientifically complicated than mayonnaise). That said, I love giving tours. The brewery is a fascinating place and the magic of turning sugar into alcohol is something that should be explained to everyone.

better than adam from girls

nick from new girl

rilo kiley - let me back in

double trouble

thx flim

chipotle does the right thing

there was some boy scout event in utah that the local chipotle was sponsoring, but once corporate heard about it they snatched the burritos out of they mouths because the boy scouts are gaycists. or something like that. via

makes me hungry for the gayest burrito i can find (thats carnitas in case you were wondering)

  In an email, company spokesman Chris Arnold wrote: By way of follow up, we have terminated our sponsorship of this event. As I mentioned yesterday, community support decisions like this are made in a decentralized way and this one was inconsistent with our own policy. We believed that terminating the sponsorship and remaining consistent with our policy was the right thing to do, and we have reinforced our policy with the team that makes these decisions to try to prevent similar issues in the future.

hey little guy, don't give up!

via

new game of thrones trailer

just kidding its princess bride/ game of thromes mashup.via

christopher guest has a new HBO show

i'll watch.

go listen to kacey musgraves

then go read this nytimes article.

    Same Trailer Different Park, the debut album from country singer-songwriter Kacey Musgraves, is easily the best thing you’ll hear this week. On the back of lead single “Merry Go ‘Round,” a dazzling portrait of small-town insularity that packs the unromantic compassion of an entire season of Friday Night Lights into one three-minute pop song, Musgraves’ first LP is quietly self-assured and breathtaking in its clear-eyed, unsentimental storytelling. More than her direct contemporaries in the mainstream country scene like Taylor Swift and Miranda Lambert, Musgraves evokes a handful of underrated alt-folk singer-songwriters from the last decade — Kasey Chambers and Kathleen Edwards, namely — with a finely honed pop sensibility and a keen knack for detail. via

vampire weekend - step

thx nscience!

is this what you want?

adam

whet sement, passed over again.

jicydak, this year's pritzker prize winner is one-wrapper-trick-pony tOyO iTo!!!!11111

he's pretty cool, i'm ok with it. one thing i learned is that his sendai mediatheque was designed to survive an apocalyptic japanese-style earthwuake, and it was caught on film doing just that in 2011. check THIS shit out:



japanese alarm sounds are weeeeeiirrrrdddddd.

today in "did you know that i don't care if you're gay?"

"now that i've left public office..." (via)

another reason to shake your sunday night tv blues

(via)

"VP stands for Very Precious"

if you're sad and maybe a little confused now that season 2 of Girls is over, just sit tight and wait for Veep.

you heard it here second - new beyonce

what a fox

the cutest movie trailer of all time - michel gondry + amelie

via

music minute with ms. dangles

Wren / FW13 / Joanna Newsom from CONNECT THE DOTS INC on Vimeo.

Wren | FW13 | Joanna Newsom, a song by Sandy Denny

today in, "did you know i'm gay?"

Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) has reversed his stance on same-sex marriage two years after learning that his son is gay, several Ohio news outlets, including the Columbus Dispatch and the Cleveland Plain Dealer, reported Friday. 

 In an interview with Ohio reporters in his Senate office, Portman said that his son, Will, came out to the senator and his wife in February 2011. 

 "It allowed me to think of this issue from a new perspective, and that's of a Dad who loves his son a lot and wants him to have the same opportunities that his brother and sister would have -- to have a relationship like Jane and I have had for over 26 years," Portman said.
via

can you guess who this is? i'm going to leave the answer in the comments.

via

bolshoi juice

i'm halfway through this article detailing the inner workings of the bolshoi ballet, moscow's storied dance company, in light of the recent acid attack on its artistic director. it's riveting and i recommend it if you're in the mood for some longform.

At around eleven, Filin, feeling tired and eager to see his wife, steered the Mercedes into a parking lot outside his building and headed for his door. The snow was icy and thick. Filin was reaching for the security buzzer when he heard someone behind him call out his name. Then the voice said, “Tebye privet!”—literally, “Hello to you!,” but more abrupt and menacing, as though someone were relaying an ominous greeting from a third party.

Filin turned and saw a man in front of him. He was neither tall nor short. He wore a woolly hat and a scarf wrapped around his face. His right arm was crooked behind him, as if he were concealing something.

A gun, Filin thought, in that flash of confrontation: He’s holding a gun and I am dead. Bolt! But, before he could move, his attacker swung his arm out in front of him. In his hand was a glass jar filled with liquid, and he hurled its contents at Filin’s face. A security camera in the parking lot fixed the time at 23:07. (via)

guess what: you're going to die.

i've recently decided to become kind-of-obsessed with the latest threat to all of our lives: CRE. you might've heard that this week the CDC announced that this was a very scary threat and we should all begin making our final arrangements. i also asked nscience how scared we should be on a scale of 1-10. he said (and i quote) "11 biscuits".

wondering what it is?

Here’s some back-story: CRE stands for “carbapenem-resistant Enterobacteriaceae.” Enterobacteriaceae are a family of more than 70 bacteria which share the characteristic of being gut-dwelling (“entero”); they include Klebsiella, Salmonella, Shigella and E. coli. Carbapenems are a “last-resort” family of antibiotics — imipenem, meropenem, doripenem and ertapenem — which are used against these bacteria when they have become resistant to other drugs.
...
CRE tends to attack in ICUs and other critical care, and also in rehab units and nursing homes. That is for several reasons. First, because patients in those settings are uniquely vulnerable to infection, not just because of their illness but because the protective barrier of their skin has been breached by ports and catheters, and also because they are visited and touched by a lot of people. Second, because they are likely to be receiving heavy-duty antibiotics which put the bacteria in their bodies under evolutionary pressure. Third, because those drugs plus others cause diarrhea, which spreads gut-dwelling bacteria into the air and area. And fourth, because those bacteria are particularly good at surviving on the kind of surfaces — plastic, glass and metal — that you find in health care. (via)

so get scared. don't go to the hospital. keep your diarrhea to yourself (thomas wilhelm). read the rest of this scary article. this is happening. and you need to deal with it.

stop whatever you're doing and read this liza minnelli interview

national treasure

blog sneak attack

me: who knew there were ada restrictions on wall sconces
is there anything these people dont control?
Joel: their lower halves
or, their bladder

martha on the today show making meatloaf

and giving me real bitch stink face like a boss.

good advice from caity weaver

NEW POPE ALERT!!!

i hope she's black!

NEW POPE

music minute with ms. dangles

 Michael: I love this song its from Before Stevie and Lindsay were in Fleetwood Mac

here in america...

...we have beautiful alive dalphins in our rivers, instead of thousands of dead-ass pigs.

According to various witnesses, a dolphin has been spotted in the East River—the most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the Eastern seaboard—near 96th Street. It was first spotted sometime after 10 a.m., and locals tell ABC that it keeps surfacing. At least one person said they saw it swimming in circles between the Randall’s Island pedestrian bridge and Mill Rock. (via)

don't die, dalphin!

taylor swift - 22

maybe it's the beautiful day we're having in new york, but (barring the stupid hipster-dressing theme), i dont. hate this.

cheerwine is the new shandy.

this year's drink of the summer is kalimotxo, or as i call it: cheerwine.

one part red wine + one part coca-cola. get on board, and i'll see you in mccarren park.

no more dead pigs!

china proves once again that it thinks the world is its own personal garbage disposal:

The Huangpu River, a source of drinking water to Shanghai's 23 million residents, should basically be called rotting swine soup. Some 3,000 more decomposing pigs have been found in the river near Shanghai since Monday, bringing the number to about 6,000 dead hogs, but authorities claim that water is just fine. (via)

6000 more reasons to stay away from china, if you ask me.

vote for christine quinn

she went on national tv monday night after the soda ban got killt, and celebrated with a giant DC. a lady after my own heart.

derek dooley's tacky ass house of broken dreams is on the market

Our loser former football coach doesn't need his ugly 5 bedroom/ 8 bathroom mansion anymore because he is going to work for the Dallas Cowgirls. If you have 2.9 millions of dollars, you don't mind living in Knoxville, and the smell of failure doesn't offend your nose, then check out the rest of the details here.

Ooooh! While you're traveling down the boulevard of broken promises that is former Tennessee coach houses, check out Bruce Pearl's home that is also for sale and is also tacky as fuck. Painted sky dome? via

its right behind me isnt it

bo obama tailing michelle on the white house lawn.

this puppy is tom hardy's jam now

via thx flim

this was my jam in the 5th grade

nothing to see here. just some wet puppies flopping around.

Newly weaned harbor seal pups make use of my old windsurf board. I mounted a remote GoPro camera and these posers seemed to know exactly where to perform! It had rained that morning and the slip n' slide ensued. These condensed clips occured over a period of about 30 minutes. via

this tiny little puppy wants to play soccer

via

Tina Turner is on the cover of German Vogue

and is perhaps the awesomest Vogue covergirl ever?

what it feels like sometimes

An opossum broke into an Australian bakery and ate so many pastries it couldn’t move. This is how they found him.

thx flim

go get the biggest DC you can find today...

...because the new york city soda ban starts tomorrow.

here's a handy guide to the new rulez.

new star trek trailer

running from things, jumping into things, being quippy and attractive.

Justin Timberlake in his Memphis t-shirt on SNL

and a grizzlies hat!

azealia banks - yung rapunxel

(via)

the knife - a tooth for an eye

(via)

ready for the weekend!

WAKE THE FUCK UP.

(via)

everyone wish Melissa good luck in the comments

She is going to be in Houston this weekend training to become a certified kettlebell instructor.


Good luck Melissa! xoxoxoxoxo

a fun look inside the domino sugar factory.

Domino Sugar Lust from 2e. on Vimeo.

a dress that came out of a 3D printer

Dita Von Teese (of course) debuted the first ever wholly 3D printed gown at the Ace Hotel on Monday, designed by Michael Schmidt. Looks like a Zaha project.

  The dress is made of powdered nylon, a flexible, fabric-like substance that's most often used for architectural modeling (and -- who knew? -- is comfy enough to wear). The dress was then polished and lacquered black and covered with 12,000 black Swarovski crystals.

Zebra Katz - Y I Do

via
from the man who brought you Ima Read, here is the newest ish.

why is it impossible to get Beyonce concert tickets?

FADER investigates.

humans yelling like goats yelling like humans

(via)

tennessee, your stupid is showing AGAIN

via

pretty!

san fransisco's bay bridge hosts a mesmerizing new installation.

today in, "did you know i'm going to be gay in a movie?"

Tim Riggins is totally going to be gay in this new movie.


The Big Bang Theory star Jim Parsons and Friday Night Lights alum Taylor Kitsch will co-star opposite Julia Roberts, Mark Ruffalo and Matt Bomer in The Normal Heart, HBO‘s original movie adaptation of the Tony-winning Larry Kramer play, which is being written by Kramer and directed by Ryan Murphy. The project tells the story of the onset of the HIV-AIDS crisis in New York City in the early 1980s. Parsons plays gay activist Tommy Boatwright, reprising his role from the 2011 Broadway revival. He was previously attached to Murphy’s adaptation when it was eyed as a theatrical feature. Kitsch plays Bruce Niles, a closeted investment banker who becomes a prominent AIDS activist. Roberts plays physician Dr. Emma Brookner, a survivor of childhood polio who treats several of the earliest victims of HIV-AIDS. Ruffalo plays Ned Weeks, who witnesses first-hand the mysterious disease that has begun to claim the lives of many in his gay community and starts to seek answers. Bomer plays Felix Turner, a reporter who becomes Ned’s lover. Murphy executive produces with Jason Blum, Dede Gardner and Dante Di Loreto. Production is slated to begin later this year in New York for a 2014 debut.

williamsburg is the new williamsburg

whole foods, anthropology and urban outfitters are either signed or negotiating leases and j.crew is poking around looking for a space too.

whole foods and anthropology: 242 bedford btw n3rd and n4th
urban outfitters: next door to the american apparel on n6th
  via

a new ciara song from a new ciara album

keep on keeping on ciara.

mila kunis is good at interviews

on the scale of anne hathaway to jennifer lawrence, mila kunis is definitely 11 biscuits.

beach house - forever still

watch this 4-song short film by beach house.

what is liz herber doing?

DRIVING ROBOTZ IN TOKYO.

nErD aLeRt!

here are the latest renderings from the ongoing quest to ruin the north brooklyn waterfront:

When Two Trees plunked down $185 million to buy the Domino Sugar Factory development site last summer, the already-approved plans for four-towers and 2,200 apartments were universally hated. The hulking buildings were bland and boxy, so Two Trees went to SHoP Architects (is there any major project these guys don't get?) and asked them to make it better—and by God, they did. Here now, we bring you the first renderings of the new New Domino. The number of apartments is the same, but SHoP added 60 percent more open space, two office buildings, a school, and more community amenities. SHoP principal Vishaan Chakrabarti and Two Trees Director of Special Projects David Lombino shared the 3.3 million-square-foot plan with us, detailing how this mega project is fundamentally different from the Brooklyn waterfront developments that came before it. (via)

i don't hate the architecture. if we've got to put some huge buildings right there, it'd be nice if they were kind of cool.

this was brought to my attention by thomas wilhelm, who raises an excellent question: how are all these people going to get to work, the L TRAIN?!?!

aaaaaaaaHAH AHaHAHAhAHA HA ahAH!!!

oh yeah. this please.

check out this baby b-girl going hamburger on an older boy in a breakdancing competition for babies. her entrance move is how i go from my bed to the shower each morning, jicyww.

monday morning desk cry

i had no idea that this song i loved was about hoping your grandma doesn't die.

here's the original, electrified version.

and i recommend checking out autre ne veut's whole album. it's excellent.

bad news beach bums

ft. tilden beach is going to be closed all season and maybe even beyond. it just isnt a priority. now where am i supposed to go drink in the sand? is instagram going to make it through the summer without all those ft. tilden pics? where is g.animalz going to wear her caftans? someone answer me!

pedro almodovar is so weird, but his movies are beautiful

this one looks good too. via.

amy poehler punks seth meyers on watch what happens live

fairway's back

fairway market, an anchor in red hook, reopens

see what they did there?

harbinger of your doom

this robot can rip your head off.

did you guys see what happened to thomas wilhelm last night?

A 100-foot wide sinkhole opened up directly under a house in the town of Seffner, Florida, last night, nearly killing two brothers and forcing authorities to evacuate the entire neighborhood. One of the brothers, a 36-year-old man, is missing and presumed dead, but firefighters have been unable to fully investigate because the house itself is deemed too unsafe to be inside. The hole underneath the house is estimated to be more than 100 feet wide, but it is not visible from outside the house.

The other brother told rescuers that he heard screams coming from his brother's bedroom around 11:00 p.m. last night, but by the time he got to the room, the bed and everything in it had been swallowed up by the ground caving in beneath it. (via)

david bowie - the next day

the new album is surprise streaming on itunes.


click here!

dedicated to kylie

Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!