alternate title for this post is
"This is how I will sound after I get wasted at Melissa's wedding"
30 January 2015
Practice makes perfect...
PETPETPETPETPETPETPETPETPETPETPETPETPETPET
click the link above for a sneak peak at the puppy bowl practice
(its autoplay...so, you know a link it is)
Now, to meet some familiar MVPs:
click the link above for a sneak peak at the puppy bowl practice
(its autoplay...so, you know a link it is)
Now, to meet some familiar MVPs:
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| always a winner |
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| fridayz are her fav |
 | ||
DIVA's doppelganger
|
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| who does this little girl remind you of?!? |
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| Oh haaayyye- puppy Dharma here...meow! |
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| TW - just barely making it |
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| Last but not least...a Kismet + Bella hybrid, who shall be named Rascal (you're welcome Ms.D) |
definitely going to see this with thomas wilhelm.
One of the most intriguing — and most discussed — films at this year’s Sundance Film Festival is a curious documentary called The Nightmare, which recounts and restages the experiences of various people who suffer from extreme forms of sleep paralysis. The subject is fascinating enough on its own, but The Nightmare was directed by Rodney Ascher, who made a splash at the 2012 festival with Room 237, his experimental documentary about different, out-there interpretations of Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. As might be expected, The Nightmare, not unlike the previous film, is by turns playful, probing, and terrifying. (via)
an international North Korean gay sex scandal!
Actually, it looks more like a gay kiss and some heavy gay petting. Faith told me about these photos taken by South Koreans across the border of two North Korean troops engaged in a special hug.
via
Gay Star News reports that the Korean Friendship Association, which is sponsored by the government of North Korea, (DPRK) commented:
"While 'it is not customary for individuals of any sexual orientation to engage in public displays of affection... Homosexuals in the DPRK have never been subject to repression, as in many capitalist regimes around the world."
29 January 2015
28 January 2015
here's a look at that paula pell movie we've all been waiting for since the day we were born.
In a script penned by SNL writer Paula Pell, Jane and Maura are visiting their hometown and learn that their parents are selling their childhood home. The sisters decide to throw one epic house party before their parents move out.
Due out this coming December, Sisters will be the first Fey-Poehler movie collaboration since 2008's Baby Mama. The hilarious stars previously worked together on 2004's Mean Girls. (via)
there was a blizzard and now suddenly it's broad city day!
Get More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV Shows
27 January 2015
don't forget about the girls
These are your new #Ghostbusters: http://t.co/qE9C3Pbqp4 pic.twitter.com/lrzhvVBosI
— Vulture (@vulture) January 27, 2015chris pratt could hit it
Chris Pratt mght be the new Indiana Jones: http://t.co/FnKcJxySKq pic.twitter.com/2EiTBnWRbN
— New York Magazine (@NYMag) January 27, 2015i dont think any of you are interested in this but i'm just going to leave it right here
Bryce the baby harbor seal is learning to live without any eyesight http://t.co/wgf5GizYef pic.twitter.com/nWnHTtZ0Ux
— Mashable Watercooler (@watercooler) January 27, 201526 January 2015
LOL weather
RT @MTA: "@NYGovCuomo: all @NYCTSubway, @NYCTBus, @LIRR and @MetroNorth operations will be fully closed by 11pm." pic.twitter.com/epMoHX44xI
— Dustin Ross (@DustinRossSaid) January 26, 2015louis ck cancels MSG show in very funny fashion.
Dear friend,
Hi. It's Louis CK here to make sure everyone knows that my show show tomorrow at Madison Square Garden has been canceled. All ticket holders will automatically get a refund. I am really sorry about this and I am surprised to learn as I write this that there is only one L in the word canceled. I'll have to take my phone's word for it. But it doesn't look right to me.
In any case, there seems to be a massive storm approaching New York City. They are calling this storm "historic" which.... Well I didn't know you could call a thing historic if it hasn't happened yet. But I'm not one to defy future historic events. And I have to be respectful of the responsibility I have to the 15,000 people who are holding tickets to the show and could be stranded somewhere historically trying to get to or from my show. I think it's clearly better that I alter history in the name of safety and cancel. Besides, if you've ever tried to get your deposit back when you rent a banquet hall for a wedding that gets snowed out, you don't want to even know what the deposit is on Madison Square Jesus Christing Garden is.
So. No show. I will be on Letterman tonight, though. So you can yell boo right at my stupid and very handsome face on your tv screen or on your paper towel or your watch or whatever you view Letterman on.
Also I will be contacting you very soon about my new standup special which will be historically available only on my website louisck.net very soon.
I really want to thank everyone who came to the shows at MSG. It was an incredible experience. The audiences were great. And the crew at MSG is classy and professional.
Okay. That's it. I have to do some laundry now.
Take care of yourself and don't be a jerk to people.
Louis CK.
23 January 2015
enjoy your weekend
Your inspiration for the week: Budi the orangutan is recovering after almost a year of neglect http://t.co/kLUpn6EKXx pic.twitter.com/pXv3ABCWNr
— Mashable (@mashable) January 23, 2015the scientific term for this is "poopnado"
this short workweek SUCKED. here's to getting out of that sperm whale's poopnado.
you right, maddie.
Statistics show that @Wellesley alums make great Secretaries - right @HillaryClinton ? Thx @AlbrightInst! pic.twitter.com/ILiESssXzP
— Madeleine Albright (@madeleine) January 23, 2015
Melissa's wishlist
ps. beyonce is PISSED people are spoofing her name but that shouldnt deter you from getting this for me...I'll only be a feyonce for 50 more days so hurry!
22 January 2015
you have my undivided attention
CUDDLE CLONES! Plush versions of your pet! http://t.co/EE42OIMFBS pic.twitter.com/i2b47nFUIT
— Pee-wee Herman (@peeweeherman) January 22, 2015DO NOT FREAK OUT
the aliens are here. if it makes you feel any better, they have probably been here for a very long time.
21 January 2015
new hobby alert!
Anthropomorphic Mouse, recently held above an American cabaret in what used to be the Bank of New York in London, is not a taxidermy class in the strictest sense: It is more like a cross between taxidermy and arts and crafts for beginners, using mice. The aim is to create scenes that look as if they are out of Beatrix Potter’s “Peter Rabbit” books, in which small animals wear clothes and hats and enjoy picnics, tea parties and lives of their own. (via)
a short interview about an interesting topic
Get to know the greatest sleight-of-hand artist alive http://t.co/Xgnq65CRhQ pic.twitter.com/rBtIYWFORg
— VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) January 21, 2015ALL THE ARCHITECTS I KNOW HAVE FAILED AT EVERYTHING BC THEY DIDN'T DO THIS FIRST.
http://architecturefordogs.com/architectures/
They come with blueprints, DIY kits, and other nonsense. Get to work, you lazy architects!
They come with blueprints, DIY kits, and other nonsense. Get to work, you lazy architects!
volumni!
the latest issue of the torchbearer brings a list of famous vols in history, including dixie carter! and kurt vonnegut! and the twin brother of the astronaut married to congresswoman gabby giffords who is also an astronaut!
i said it's great!
i said it's great!
20 January 2015
burn it to the ground
La Guardia is finally getting an AirTrain that will connect it to the subway: http://t.co/ahlrZvO5YI
— New York Magazine (@NYMag) January 20, 201519 January 2015
lordy lordy
On January 5, NASA released an image of the Andromeda galaxy, our closest galactic neighbour, captured by the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope. The full image is made up of 411 Hubble images, takes you through a 100 million stars and travels over more than 40,000 light years. Well, a section of it anyway. (via)
smdh
Arkansas goddamn RT @rodimusprime: Woah pic.twitter.com/FsTyufNLmI
— Joel D. Anderson (@byjoelanderson) January 18, 2015
broad city long read
this article's real long and real good.
“Should I fist the tree first, you think, Ab?” Glazer asked. “Or should I give it a rim job? What’s funnier?”
“Definitely fisting!” Jacobson hollered back. “The tree may say no but its heart says yes!”
Glazer went to work. She is a brilliant physical comedian — both women are — and gyrated her compact frame around the tree, oozing over its limbs, French-kissing its bark, straddling it, slapping it, twerking on it, poking it in various orifices. (Jacobson chimed in from the sidelines, “We are always coming up with new holes!”) A crew of about 25 people looked on, but Glazer showed no signs of embarrassment — she only requested inspiration in the form of slow jams — “Give me some dirty music, baby, lemme get my griiiind on!” — and suggested to the director, John Lee, that perhaps she should “try some shots with reverse cowgirl, like my ass right up to the camera. It should feel grotesque, right? We need dat bounce!” She tried different rhythms and angles, holding back laughter while slapping the trunk of the tree with loud thwacks.
Meanwhile, Jacobson was giggling so hard she had to crouch on the ground. “This is so fucking funny,” she said. “This is so fucking funny.” Then, turning to me, she put on a serious face: “She’s not doing this to fall in love with the tree,” she said. “She is doing it to find … answers.” Then, after a pause: “I just hope the tree is over 18.” (via)
i have a dream
that terry gross talked to abbi and ilana for 20 minutes. yaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssss.
sharon van etten on ellen
not sure why, but SVE premiered a new song on ellen's show last week, and i just love it.
16 January 2015
the fall, season 2
Hi America. 2nd series of @TheFallTV now available on @netflix . Cancel all your plans and enjoy
— Jamie Dornan (@JamieDornan) January 16, 2015never forget
Aaliyah would have been 36 today pic.twitter.com/U8N3M1dJ3R
— 3030 (@jose3030) January 16, 2015send this to your dad
A new poll by Quinnipiac University suggests that the city's voters have seen through the police union's tactics, and that its temper tantrum will cost it political support.
Consider the following findings:
"Police union leader Patrick Lynch's comments that the mayor's office had blood on its hands are 'too extreme,' voters say 77 - 17 percent, the independent Quinnipiac University Poll finds. There is no party, gender, racial, borough or age group which finds the comments 'appropriate.'""Voters say 47 to 37 percent that Mayor de Blasio's statements and actions during his 2013 campaign and during his first year in office show he does support police."
"The recent slowdown in police activity is more of a protest, 56 percent of voters say, while 27 percent say it is because police officers fear for their safety."
"Voters say 57 to 34 percent that officers should be disciplined if they deliberately are making fewer arrests or writing fewer tickets. Black, white and Hispanic voters all agree."
" Voters give Patrolmen's Benevolent Assn. President Patrick Lynch a negative 18 to 39 percent favorability rating and say 43 to 27 percent that he is a mostly negative force in the city."
50 percent of voters approve and 41 percent disapprove of the way Mayor de Blasio is handling crime.
Just 41 percent approach and 52 percent disapprove of the way de Blasio is handling relations between police and the community (a number that presumably includes people who think he is too pro-police and too anti-police.)
56 percent approve of the way the NYPD is doing its job. (via)
re: dogs
i've been watching the broad city web series episodes, because i never really did that. i loved this one because i found it really relatable when ilana goes fucking nuts about having a dog to hang out with. (see flim post below.)
also, how cute is this one:
15 January 2015
kylie and i were just discussing the lack of dog time in new york.
so someone wants to start a dog cafe just like that cat cafe trend in nyc/japan but better bc it's DOGS. except it's for LA so I'M NOT MAD I JUST DON'T EVEN CARE
the oscars
I think Academy members made all the white decisions this year.
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) January 15, 201514 January 2015
wonderful news!
Netflix's Wet Hot American Summer series is turning into quite the celeb-packed event. Deadline reports that a slew of guest-starring and recurring characters will pop up in the form of Lake Bell, Josh Charles (as a rival camper), Rob Huebel (a rival professor), Jayma Mays, Randall Park (a librarian in love with Shannon), Paul Scheer (a journalist), Richard Schiff, John Slattery, and Michaela Watkins (a brash New Yorker). The new recruits join the already-large amount of original cast members for the eight-episode series, to be directed by David Wain and written by Wain and Michael Showalter. While the 2001 movie was set on the last day of a fake Jewish summer camp, the Netflix installments reportedly take place on the first day of camp. No other details about the series are available, but rest assured, summer is coming. (via)
broad city is back tonight bitchez!!!!!!!
don't toss out those expired bb&b coupons just yet - cuz broad city comes back tonight. also, they've been renewed for a third season. also, lincoln has never really gotten over the death of amy winehouse.
13 January 2015
on repeat.
“Tim dropped the beat in the studio and it instantly gave me a hip-hop vibe,” Tink told FADER. “I wanted the video to match that same feeling. Raw and simple.” (via)
you can have all my mittens
People are being urged to donate mittens to help koalas with burned paws
http://t.co/DzwRVNdxbt pic.twitter.com/R7Im2pEPBm
— BuzzFeed (@BuzzFeed) January 9, 2015preach
Nene is a stegosaurus who was ratchet and greasy and funny and it got her some new noses and a script and now that bitch is rude. I hate her
— Downtown Fury Brown (@KidFury) January 12, 2015
12 January 2015
ctm
oh shit. oh shit. it's her. #goldenglobes pic.twitter.com/2QIyqdyuLY
— Zoë Klar (@madamezooble) January 12, 2015
09 January 2015
can you see it? the weekend ahead, that is.
my weekend world includes thrift stores, brussels sprouts and bacon, and couch time. hope your weekend world makes you very happy.
go rihanna go!!!
Above, a trio of rhinoceros—led by a female named Rihanna—takes a heroic but understated stroll through the front gate of Ramat Gan Safari Park in Ramat Gan, Israel, as a zookeeper futilely gives chase. The security guard tasked with watching the entrance was asleep on the job, according to the Daily Mail. (via)
fuck no.
A group of flight attendants say United fired them for refusing to fly on a Hong Kong-bound 747 that had the words "BYE BYE" and a frowning face mysteriously written in oil on the fuselage.
The 13 former employees sued the airline over the July 14, 2014 flight, which they say was preparing for takeoff at the San Francisco airport when workers discovered the six-inch-tall graffiti written on the tail about 30 feet off the ground. (via)nonononononoonononononoNO.
nothing is real
i lol'd on the train this morning when crissle asked kid fury if he'd seen the justin bieber CK ad, and he said "that's none of my business."
08 January 2015
thank you
#TodayinBeyonce RT @andrewtaflan: @janetmock YAAAS RT @Beyologist: When you recognize your name as a compliment http://t.co/nkwIBwQo1W
— Janet Mock (@janetmock) January 8, 2015thank god someone finally made homeward bound 3
i'll definitely watch this movie.
at some point in my life.
BREAKING BEARS NEWS ALERT!!!11
ATTENTION ATTENTION!
central park's got some new BAAYYUUURRRRRZZZZZZZZ!!
2PzNaPpod: you heard it heresecond third.
central park's got some new BAAYYUUURRRRRZZZZZZZZ!!
2PzNaPpod: you heard it here
welcome to the family, betty and veronica
meet betty and veronica, 2 new grizzly bears in the central park zoo. evidently one is more blonde and the other brunette, but i'm sure she's just dyeing it to meet with manhattan's high standards of beauty.
gimme a park with BEARS big beautiful BEARS
here are Veronica (L) and Betty (R) the new Central Park Zoo BEARS!
no spoilers, i'm going to try to watch it tonight on the fox app
New hip-hop soap-opera @EmpireFOX debuts to huge ratings that blew past @AmericanIdol: http://t.co/OSZM2sGz4C pic.twitter.com/RncHI19fOB
— New York Magazine (@NYMag) January 8, 2015explain yourself martha
Ever hear of hoar frost and sea smoke? Both exist in this photo of my maine property pic.twitter.com/8Bep8lhokG
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) January 8, 201507 January 2015
06 January 2015
what the
Tippi Hedren, Melanie Griffith, and their lion Neil. http://t.co/8FhpsR5lPe pic.twitter.com/fJq6lKe2Wk
— Boing Boing (@BoingBoing) January 6, 2015did i ever tell you about that thing i saw while i was in tennessee?
thomas wilhelm and i were remarking on how broad a category "country folks" is...
congress looks fuuuuuuuuun.
Rep. Kyrsten Sinema, everyone's favorite congresswoman of the day. pic.twitter.com/AnBzY1kT8U
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) January 6, 2015
ever heard of a disco clam?
you won't believe the stuff that goes on in this article:
In an experiment, Dougherty put a mantis shrimp in the same tank as a disco clam and monitored the animals’ activity. But as she quickly learned, the bivalve was not to be bullied. Once attacked by the shrimp, the clam spewed acidic mucus at the crustacean, disarming the shrimp and sending it into a catatonic state. Upon further investigation, Dougherty and her team found that the clam’s fleshy lips were laced with sulfuric acid, a substance commonly found in car batteries and drain decloggers. (via)
remember mad cow disease?
well forget about it because the US is starting to lift the embargo on European meat, starting with Irish beef. Mooooooooooo!"no faster than a running possum"
i highly recommend this tasteful piece by the new york post about a former new york city medical examiner.
And she has a final warning for New Yorkers who live alone with cats: The urban legend is true. “Your faithful golden retriever might sit next to your dead body for days, starving, but the tabby won’t,” she writes. “Your pet cat will eat you right away, with no qualms at all. I’ve seen the result.”
05 January 2015
we won something!
i think i speak for all of 2Pz nation when i say that we couldn't be prouder. see everyone at the national championship game next year!
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