2PzNaPpod: 07/01/2013

31 July 2013

via

lifetime ordered a tv pilot based on this short film. could be good. probably wont be.

via

important science information.

dog emotions.

30 July 2013

nicki minaj's new perfume bottle

i think this would look so good on thomas wilhelm's cabinet of curiosities.

reminds me of this.

oh wow, christina aguilera is skinny again

dirrty

i didn't know....you could DO that.

with raccoons....

(via)

John: oh, sorry, i have to change the subject really quickly. speaking of serial killers
me: k
John: i was walking down broadway
and this guy comes up behind me singing opera or something
terribly
just sort of shrieking
so i avoided him and let him pass
wanted to keep my distance
that was probably at like 20th and broadway
then i was on 5th at about 24th
and i see this tall thin well dressed black guy
and i like the shirt he's wearing
so i sort of turn to get a better look as he passed me
and i hear someone say "i saw you look BEEEYUUUUTCH!"
me: omg ctmol
John: and for a moment i just keep walking looking forward
not sure what just happened
so i turn around, and i'm just sure it's going to be someone i know
and it's that weird guy who was shrieking
and my mouth falls open a little, and i say, "i just liked his shirt!"
me: omg you engaged?
John: and he goes, "it's okay, we ALLL look."
and we went on our merry little ways
me: aaaaahahahahha
John: it was so fucking weird

de Blasio update!

thanks to anthony weiner's stupidity, 2Pz-endorsed mayoral candidate, 2Pz twitter follower, and dreamboat bill de blasio is now polling second, behind christine quinn, who is probably our second choice.

my name is kylie, and i am a fan of the new robin thicke album.

i didn't want to like it, but despite the substitution of a number ~~for~~ 4 a word at every opporunity, i do. i like "give it 2 u". i like "go stupid 4 u". i like "ain't no hat 4 that".

i like them all!

the ladies of OITNB

couple of features on the internet of some of the actresses from 2Pz new fave show:

click here to chat with laverne cox, who we saw in madison square park on friday and who plays sophia.

click here to get to know taryn manning, who plays pennsyltucky, and apparently only poses for sexy pixies otherwise.

tell us in the comments who your favorite character is. mine's crazy eyes.

29 July 2013

more Taystee, better

The new best show, Orange is the New Black, just announced that my favorite character Taystee is going to be promoted from recurring character to featured character. TWERK

HOMELAND season 3 is still a thing and don't forget

what's for lunch?

barry and hillz are having salads.

homeland teaser

it's coming.

26 July 2013

im sorry im just reposting all the PAPER magazine friday funnies

4Pz

via

this is kylie, this weekend

via

memphis makes the big time(s)

my city (and joel's) gets the frugal traveler treatment in the times.

I want that sandwich in my mouth right MEOW.

the anthony weiner new yorker cover

(via)

25 July 2013

corgi in a baby pool

you happy? you like it? bless you!! thx ms.dangles

frozen beer foam

now available at Dodger stadium to keep your beer cold. hopefully soon to be available wherever beer is sold. thx kirby

throwing shade is now a video podcast on funny or die

Throwing Shade:"Ender's Game" and "Orange is the New Black" - watch more funny videos

selena gomez concert tonight with starla

something that happened today

a train derailment in spain

24 July 2013

what are you doing tonight?

we'll let you know how it is!

sandra bullock took this picture minutes after the trailer for GRAVITY ended

this is a real picture, by the way

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

see the video here.

music minute with Ms. Dangles

UM.

this is the new "gravity" trailer.

i just pooped. my pants.

this is not a beautiful dream, it's real life.

ktv and matt found these under their shop. like santa claus himself came down from heaven five months early to give them the greatest present anyone could ever receive.

A BUNDLE OF PART PYRENEES PART FARM DOG PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111

(PS - they're available for adoption. bella swan gets a sister?)

23 July 2013

this is the southwest airlines flight from BNA to LGA that had its front wheel pop off

remember how i feel about southwest? via

22 July 2013

raccoons can be jerks sometimes.

here's a video of google partner, kevin rose, who catches a raccoon attacking his puppy (whose name is toaster), and drops some southern justice on him.

thomas wilhelm's spirit animal

the titan arum, nicknamed the "corpse flower", is huge, and it STINKS. it also only blooms every few years, and one's going to town in the united states botanic garden in DC right now.

hunger games 2 catching fire trailer

19 July 2013

PREACH.

and it's on TUR-bo.

thx nscience!

Elizabeth Warren might look like your soft-spoken Aunt Alice, but she is a badass and don't take no shit from nobody

click here to watch it on gawker.

OOOH YOUR FOOD LOOKS GOOD CAN I HAVE SOME

via he washes his hands

this is the boston bomber climbing out of his hiding place showing his nipple with a police sniper laser target on his head

the police photographer released a bunch of photos to try to counter the rolling stone cover story that is getting such attention. actually terrifying.

18 July 2013

music minute with Ms. Dangles

nErD aLeRt!

this is incredible.

nErD aLeRt!

look at this awesome building in birmingham, englad that i never knew about. it's a selfridge's department store, whatever that is. doesn't it look like a despicable me character?

what IS that?!!?

2Pz trendsetters trend piece : the five fund

i was just listening to the latest episode of all songs considered, and steven told me about a thing he does called "the five fund". here's what you do:

every time you get a $5 bill, you put it in a coffee can (or whatever) for saving. when i told joel about it, he asked "then what?", to which i replied "wait for a rainy day!!"

i'm going to try this, and you should too. let's talk in december and see how much money we're swimming in.

2Pz trendsetters trend piece : candy crush saga

or as it is called, adorably, by thomas wilhelm: CANDY CRUNCH.

candy crunch is this summer's hottest trend, and if you're not playing it, then you are a complete nobody. please read this informative piece about its development and inner workings. here are some highlights:

"Sometimes I just go into the bathroom and sit on the seat and play," a colleague confessed, describing some quality in-office downtime. "I don't tell many people that . . ."

When it comes to the sound effects, we have a fun story there—you know the "Delicious" the voice [that happens when a player is on a hot streak or wins the game]? Originally it was a funny French accent, but that wasn't appreciated, so we changed it and we did kind of a petition on the website to have different people trying it and found this rather deep voice that felt really good in the concept.

We try to make sure from the beginning with Candy Crush that you should be able to complete the game without having to pay. Of the people on the last level (currently level 385) 70% of those players haven't paid to get there.

In Hong Kong, one of every seven people in the country plays the game on the daily basis.

crazy/beautiful

Faith: omg kirsten dunst

how did that snaggletooth get famous

me: who knows

buttercup couldnt make it up the steps

thatz okay though. looking real good buttercup.

have you ever wondered what it would look like if an panda that lives in atlanta gave birth to twins

then you've got to see this crazy shit.

our blessed mother TINA TURNER is getting gay married to her boyfriend

congrats tina.

we wish you all the happiness in the world. sitting on a pile of money in switzerland.

15 July 2013

Buttercup, the duck with a prosthetic leg is going to march with the Peabody ducks on Wednesday

apparently Buttercup is from Memphis anyway, who knew? quack quack quack

orange is the new black is awesome

Ms. Dangles and I watched the first few episodes this weekend without any expectations, and we both really liked it! Based on a real (unbelievable) story, this new Netflix Original series from Jenji Kohan (Weeds) mixes some prison gags with really fun supporting characters and a strong enough emotional center to make you want to keep watching. So consider this a recommendation and treat yourself to some new original programming.

Zaha's first NYC building

she designed this swoopy apartment building for Related next door to the high line (natch) in west chelsea.

RIP Finn

Melissa: JOEL

Melissa: that glee dude is dead

me: i know

Melissa: well

what happened?

where is my 2pz report?

does no one care ab glee anymore? should i have moved on already?

me: you know

i watched every episode of season 1-3

and didnt even turn on season 4

i feel like i just got tired of it

but not the old music

i still like that

me: it is so sad that he is dead

but i dont think that 2pz can really have anything to add other than that

14 July 2013

twerk

via

twerk

via

12 July 2013

the most fun you're going to have all day.

CLICK HERE and let the fun begin.

actually, these are the same tips you should use if you come across @thomaswilhelm after a few too many sloppy susans

via

this little guy wants you to have a happy friday!

thx flim!

music minute with ms.dangles

11 July 2013

say hello to Binti, the newest and most beautiful member of the Memphis Zoo

The Memphis Zoo has announced its newest edition, Binti, a 15-year-old female hippopotamus. She joined the exhibit’s other resident Splish, a 25-year-old female hippo, early Wednesday morning.
Binti is Swahili for daughter or young lady. Binti follows a long line of hippos at the zoo, which has housed hippos since 1914, the year Splish’s grandfather arrived at the zoo from Hamburg, Germany.

sometimes things look better in scaffolding.

Monday night marked the debut of 488 glowing lamps that now line America's most famous obelisk. Their origin actually dates back to the 1990s, when Michael Graves was commissioned to design a curtain-like scrim for the monument during the structure's previous renovation. That design is being used again during current renovations, a look that stands out especially in daylight. The lamps, activated by sensors, light up from behind the scrim. (via)

"it's like a everyday 4th of july."

10 July 2013

this puppy just made a terrible mistake

(going to staten island)

these white ladies are crackin my shit up

leave dreamgirls alone white ladies. not for you. click the link to view a gallery of white ladies who didn't get the memo.

ohaye new boat friend. want to share my snack pack?

thx melissa

SASSY!

A Central Texas resident Sarah Slamen brought down the hammer of citizen justice on the Senate Health and Human Services Committee's anti-choice members with an excoriation for the ages — until she was unceremoniously shut down by Chairwoman Jane Nelson (R) mid-speech, and then dragged away by four DPS Troopers. (via)

bubba watson's hover cart

sure, why not?

on your list of things to do today should be "listen to ciara's new album"

work! work! work! work! work! work! work!

09 July 2013

starla's dozen

could THIS be the song of the summer? also from robin thicke, but this time with kendrick "cutest little bunny rabbit" lamar.

i know what you're thinking: "what does starla think?"

Charlotte: i thought it sounded like a Britney spears song till he started talking about dick. offensive! i like it.
and for the record
i doubt robin has a big one

mother wayne is my spirit animal

08 July 2013

what chris pratt looks like right now.

got all muscly-armed for a movie role.

retroactive reincarnation

today, it is so blazing hot outside that all of our air conditioners at work keep trippin' the breakerz (industry vernacular) and its one thousand degrees in my office and i died. i almost lived, but then the ambulance coming to save me ran over my body. anyway, don't worry, because i have been retroactively reincarnated to the date of may 3rd, when i came back as this tiny deer at the queens zoo.

my name is teacup tori, what's yours!?