oh hey jacob

via

floppy puppy ears

via

lanvin kinect dance central

this looks like some weak beginner shit. talk to me when you can hit pon de replay on expert. via.

i love you like a love song baby

selena gomez won't get out of my head ever since i heard this song during an advertisement on spotify.

are you on spotify?

3 DAYS!

SEC uniform updates! Full college uniform coverage here.

The Vols have gone from black shoes to white shoes and I think it's an improvement. C2E









Georgia has this silly new jersey. I guess Starla's gonna have to invest in a new sleep shirt...


















and look at Auburn's tramp stamp! EMBEARASSING!

Get outta town

Check out what my new room in GPP is going to look like! CAN'T WAIT!

"Dalton Campbell, 11, and Jorday Campbell, 9, from Ontario, Canada, relaxed in the Space Fantasy Room at the Best Western Space Shuttle Inn after a visit to the Kennedy Space Center." from the times.

welx.

watch this while listening to any song.

the internet stole our joke.

(via)

what do you get...

...when you cross:

larry david's real-life ex-wife, laurie david...

...with larry david's TV ex-wife, cheryl hines?

answer:

a creepy lady-mash-up: amy landecker, the actress who just played the girl larry and rosie o'donnell competed over on a recent ep of curb your enthusiasm. and also larry's new real-life gf.

weird, huh?!

always trust 2Pz readers.

it's a really good thing y'all correctly voted for us to hunker down in safe-ass greenpoint. upstate new york (among other places) got it hard. these photos are breathtaking.

thx jess!

gchatz w/ yella bear's mom.

me: i saw what he can do with his leg
while sitting
rachel: (redacted strategy discussion)
me: just push him a little further
rachel: i think thats his bad leg
ill probably break his damn hip while trying to make him human
me: he's not THAT old is he?
rachel: no, but he definitely does a bunny hop with his back end
he might have injured it at some point or, like a lot of labs, he's in the beginning phases of hip dysplasia
me: sounds like he's in the beginning phases of a lot of excuses

a special treat for you.

billy? it's susan.

i was going through my trunk of souvenirs, and i found this doll. the doll we used to play with before the war. before you went inSANE.

you were sittin' on that quilt, that, at one time had kept us warm. and the quilt was so worn, billy, and it smelled like moth balls, which, brought back all those memories of the time we spent in the attic.

LOCKED. UP.

with muffin. and you told us that mother was wrong and we were right. didn't you, muffin? and i took care of you. and billy.

(sigh)

but billy was much more trouble than you, wasn't he, muffin? especially when he got to be bigger than susan. and made her do things she did NOT...wanna do. things that made her sick.

and mother pretended she didn't know, but she did.

(siiiiggghhh)

well, who's lyin' in a bed, in an insane asylum, plugged into a life support system. and who's wearin' fine jewels, and expensive clothes. and whose husband....accidentally died, just recently, and left me all. his. money?

oh, this is a....there's a plug here that hooks into, where he's breathin' and stuff. um...let me just take it back.

and whose husband just accidentally died, and left her all his money?

(plug pull)

AND WHO'S ON TOP, AND WHO'S ON BOTTOM NOW, HUH? WHO'S ON TOP, AND WHO'S ON BOTTOM NOW?!?!

well, i'll see you in hell, billy. but at least I'M gonna have some fun, before I get there.



scene.

say "police!"

new kelly clarkson?

"mr. know it all"

more like, mr. i just fell asleep. i couldn't even get through it.

well, that's fun.

100 years of london fashion in 100 seconds.

this photo is like a magic eye.

take a long look at this photo (c2e) and see if you can figure out what's going on. 

little known facts

my brother craig had a baby duck growing up named peepers. if you want to know what happened to peepers, you need to ask THIS guy. SPOILER ALERT: peepers dies.

TOOPZ PUPPEH EURO CHALLENGE!!!

i have a proposal for a little friendly competition!!

three of 2Pz most avid readers also happen to have three great puppies. coincidence? idts. after noticing the juxtaposition of bella's new trick and that semi-human-ing dog....i thought: gosh, would i love to see a dog i know do some humaning. so i propose a triple-face-off, between:

1) hank baker mooney
2) isabella swan
3) yella bear jackson

submit some photos of your pups looking really dignified and sitting like a person. and we'll have a poll to choose the winner. ok?!

Yvonne : FREEDOM FIGHTER

Yvonne is a dairy cow who executed a stunning escape from her electrified pen in Germany just days before she was to be turned into hamburger.

She has been on the lamb living secretly in the woods near her town eating grass and evading capture at every turn. Helicopters, infrared cameras, and a sexy bull named Ernst have all been employed to bring Yvonne back into custody, but now that she has tasted freedom, she will never go back to the farm.

full disclosure: this picture is actually of Yvonne's sister Waltraut, who has also been used at bait. yvonne hasn't been seen in DAYS

via

4 DAYS!!! (again)

i said it's GREAT.

4 DAYS!!!

top 20 college football stadiums.

ours goes all the way around.



thx sj!

go ahead.

unscramble that second one.

just some pom play

via

THAT'S RACIST!!!!

all i want is to play

plz

H8 Bama

this is not how real life auburn-bama interactions turn out. Usually they end with a couple of centuries old oak trees being poisoned, and no amount of crappy domino's pizza is going to make that alright. DIG HIM UP...!

A tree falls in McCarren park

And the neighbors made it into a shrine.




figures, #amiright?

isabella - bang bang!!

bang bang bang. isabella learned a new trick this past weekend. is she the smarted girl in school or what?

so proud of you isabelly.

look what i found on the internet!

via @nicolettemason

"why is katniss in forks?" -starla

Get More: 2011 VMA, Music

uh huh.

sunday hurrikinday

gettin' everyone caught up on their boardwalk empire.

well, we made it.

7 days y'all!

I was perusing utsports.com when I came across Dwight's Insights, a blog that has potential to be really entertaining or boring as hell for the next couple of years. Dwight is an international student athlete from the Bahamas (not terribly exotic). His first post happen to go up the day Pat Summitt announced her diagnosis. To quote a quote of a twitter (because it was my favorite line from the post, "Knowing what we all know about Coach Summitt, I almost feel sorry for the Dementia." (from @drvenner)

I really just wanted to say Go Vols, and that Georgia sucks. I hope they lose. But I also hope they win big next Saturday so that Boise State will have to shut the hell up all season long.

Hurricapocalypse playlist

My office mate suggested this Billie Joel Jem

in my head, All Day Long

experts agree, TIM TEBOW SUX

"He can't play. He can't throw," Esiason said at a CBS press event on Tuesday. "I'm not here to insult him. The reality is he was a great college football player, maybe the greatest college football player of his time. But he's not an NFL quarterback right now.

"Just because he's God-fearing, and a great person off the field, and was a winner with the team that had the best athletes in college football, doesn't mean his game is going to translate to the NFL."

via

just some light hurrikin planning.

c2e.

r0d = ride or die (w/ zeroes)

you're killing me, internet!

Pizza Friday: Europa Café 86th and Lexington.

Crust: 2 Biscuits. Look at what happened! I picked it up and it broke in half. How am I supposed to eat you? When I did taste it, it was alottle on the dry side.

Sauce: 2 Biscuits. Too much and too sweet.

Cheese and toppings: 4 biscuits. Ample cheese and big chunks of mushrooms. I could have used two more ‘ronis.

Price: $3.80 seems to be the price for a two topping slice up here across the board.

Ambiance: 1 Biscuit. It’s located directly between two subway entrances. This place was teeming with indecisive tourists and a crazy taking up four chairs with her bags and looking at the internets or her tiny laptop. As a result, getting the pizza took a long-a time, and then I was forced to eat the pizza in the street like some kind of animal, as you can see from the photo. They had probably 12 varieties, which I appreciated, but if they all fell apart then why bother!

Over-all look and taste: 2 biscuits. This place was a NATURAL DISASTER.

poll time : what do we dooooo?!!?!!?

here's the latest.

vote up top.

rihanna : cheers (drink to that)

not directed by beyonce.

beyonce : 1 + 1

directed by beyonce.

rodents of unusual size

as if we didn't have enough to think about with rent due, earthquakes and hurricanes...

this giant rat was killed (with a pitchfork??!????) at the Marcy Houses (where Jay-Z is from) in Brooklyn. I can literally see the Marcy Houses from my bedroom window.

from melissa:
"where do you think those rats are going to go when their houses get flooded?!?
better carry a pitchfork
or maybe a TRIDENT! "
(see what i did there)"

me: "like Finnick"

Melissa: "yep. Just like Finnick"

happy (pizza) (hurrikin) friday!

dance to this while you're hunkerin'.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

Researchers have found an exotic planet made completely of diamond, orbiting an even more exotic star relatively close to Earth.

The new planet is more dense than anything observed before, and is made almost entirely of carbon. Because the molecules are so tightly packed together, researchers calculate that it must be crystalline in nature, making it effectively diamond. (via)

in related news, john and i saw 'another earth' last night.  it was about 7 or 8 biscuits.

what did you think was going to happen?

via

my favorite fashion weirdos... together

rico genest and andrej peijic (via)

gchatz w/ joel

me: my parents basically dont care about me
i've been trying to fear monger them all day
they wont bite
meanwhile john's mom is giving him solid hurricane survival tips
Joel: ctm
johns mom has probably lived through one or two
and knows how scared we should be
me: she knows to take it seriously
Joel: meanwhile, hurricanes in middle tennessee are at best a drink
and at worst, a football team
and at the very worst, a vacation ruiner
me: ctm

melissa and joel discuss the hunger games (book 2)

WARNING: THERE BE SPOILERS HERE


me: well
what are Katniss and the gang up to?
Melissa: ugh
im only in chapter 3
we just found out that president snow knows about her kiss
w GALE!
the team is there prepping her for the tours
am reading as we speak
me: stupid president snow
and his sickly sweet smell
Melissa: im still curious why his breath smells like blood
Melissa: oh no
haymitch says she has to live happily ever after w peeta!
me: doesnt sound like much of a punishment to me
Melissa: ctm
do you love peeta?
me: duh
all that bread and cupcakes
me: do you think it would be scary or fun to go to the beach when a hurrican is coming?
Melissa: oooo
fun!
but depending where you are
i wouldnt want to be in the carribean right now
but i would face it in the carolinas!
just the idea that the island could disappear freaks me out
me: im supposed to go to montauk this weekend
google that on the map and see if you would want to be there
Melissa: oh my NO WAY
me: ctm
looks prime for being wiped off the map, right?
Melissa: uhhh, yes
especially that first look when it's zoomed in on google map
when you back out its not as scary but only bc it like disappears from sight!
just like you are gunna do when Irene gets ya
Melissa: JOEL!
they killed the sweet old man from district 11
oh my word
this book
me: which old man?
the one from the Haim?
Melissa: the one that whistled Rue's tune
me: oooh
yeah the district dont play
Melissa: oh no
he proposed
i cant help but feel sorry for peeta
he loves her dearly!
Melissa's new status message - omg book 2 is too much! 10:56 AM
me: he always has
she has a little trouble deciding on her own feelings, but thats just a 16 year old girl for you i guess
Melissa: sigh
Melissa: oh no
GALE SAID I LOVE YOU!
this poor girl
ugh. katniss
me: ctm
whatever poor girl has two studs that want to be her baby daddy
Melissa: oh joel
i wish you were reading a long with me
me: i already know what youre going through
Melissa: joel joel joel
me: what?
Melissa: this book
will you come read me the rest of it
me: hahaha
Melissa: i wish i had it on tape so i could listen to it at work
its hard to keep my book hidden
ill send a picture of my set-up
me: yay

claaaasssiiicc hurricane irene.

gchatz w/ john

John: i can't wait to see new yorkers freaking out about this
they aren't going to know what to do with themselves
me: i know
its going to peter out
i just know it
John: one thing is for sure
they're building it up so much, it can't possibly be as bad as they're making it seem
me: yeah
i mean theyre really going over the top
John: it seems the real horrible things happen when you least expect them to
i'm looking at you fukushima daichi

smell jersey : state of emergency

N.J. Gov. Chris Christie signed a state of emergency declaration on Thursday ahead of the incoming hurricane.

"We have to be prepared," Christie said during a news conference from the State Police Regional Operations Center in Ewing, adding that this is not a "cry wolf" situation.

The declaration allowed him to activate 6,000 members of the National Guard. The governor says Irene would have a "severe" impact on the Garden State.

"We are urging residents not to go to the shore this weekend," Christie said. (via)

erin.... starla....

daily ri ri

from gawker :

Hustler claims to have a sex tape starring Rihanna and rapper J. Cole. "We have seen it and we do not know what we are going to do with it yet." So either they aren't sure it's actually her (Ri doesn't believe it. She has the best reactions to sex scandals), or they're still negotiating a price, or releasing the sex tape would be legally dicey (age of consent? stolen property? copyright issues?), or they are concerned about the long-term effects of high-profile acts of female sexual disempowerment through the nonconsensual release of starlet-driven sex tapes into a society slut-shaming misogyny. Hahahahaha except not the last one. Nah, probably just a legal issue.

who is J.Cole? Is he part of J.Crew? Don't forget to watch the MTV VMAs this weekend!

ctmol.

(via)

st. vincent - cruel

RIP Aaliyah Day

interview magazine tribute

RIP Aaliyah Day

punished.

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — The N.C.A.A. said Wednesday that it wanted to send a clear message by handing Bruce Pearl, the former Tennessee basketball coach, a three-year show-cause penalty: Coaches are responsible for their programs.

It will now be harder for Pearl to get another college job anytime soon. He is prohibited from recruiting for the next three years, and a university would have to persuade the N.C.A.A. to have that penalty removed if it hired him.

The N.C.A.A. punished Pearl for lying to investigators about improperly hosting recruits at his home and urging others to do the same. The former Pearl assistants Tony Jones, Jason Shay and Steve Forbes face the same sanctions for their roles in misleading the N.C.A.A., except they were given one-year show-cause penalties.

Tennessee will not face any sanctions beyond those it imposed in response to a two-year investigation into recruiting by Pearl’s program and by the football program under Lane Kiffin, the coach at the time. (via)

HTFD.

hunker the fuck down.
NYC Hurricane Map

RIP Aaliyah Day

I know exactly how Hawkeye feels.

RIP Aaliyah Day

baby girl was killed in that plane accident 10 years ago today.

memes-on-memes-on-memes.

joel found this on carly's internet.

c2e.

the saddest thing ever?

Navy Special Warfare Operator Petty Officer 1st Class Jon T. Tumilson was one of 30 Navy SEALs aboard a Chinook helicopter downed by Taliban insurgents on August 6th. (remember)

At his funeral in Rockford, Iowa, earlier this week, Tumilson’s beloved canine companion Hawkeye refused to leave the side of his master’s casket.

there is also a video if youre into that.

im not sure if youre even going to like this

via

Twosie Wednesday

Whould you just LOOK at these Smokey's? they have Vol all over their faces! Fret not puppies, only 10 days left to wait!

bon iver + james blake

(via)

more waterworks.

nymag highlights sally jenkins' washington post exclusive on pat summitt's diagnosis:

This story is an awful one, but as told by Sally Jenkins in the Washington Post this morning, it becomes heroic and deeply moving. Jenkins, who classifies Summitt as "her closest friend," pens a heartbreaking, warm, extremely well-constructed column with the tender care of someone who is writing like they were put on earth simply to write this column.
...
It's a riveting read that is very likely to make you cry. In 1993, Gary Smith of Sports Illustrated wrote the definitive piece on Jim Valvano's fight with cancer, one that still stands as one of the more crowning achievements in modern sportswriting. (It also secured — and even whitewashed — Valvano's legacy, assuring that you'll see him on ESPN until the end of time.) Jenkins' piece, we sense, is going to have a similar impact, with a subject who's even more inspiring. Go read it. Now. (via)

crying again.

ryan o'connell - thought catalog

carlygoogles turned me on to ryan o'connell on thought catalog, and i basically have agreed with everything he has written. case in point, the following article titled "Calling BS On Eating Healthy," or, "Why I Visit Taco Bell At Least Once A Month."


In the past year, my friends have started this sick disturbing trend of eating healthy. Green things that aren’t smokable are showing up to our potlucks with more and more frequency, leaving me awash in a sea of confusion as I carry a box of cupcakes to the table. “OMG, tempting but no thanks. I’ll just devour some more of this amazing kale and beet salad. God, I’m such a Kirstie Alley right now!”

Wait, did I miss the memo? When did we transition from college meals of spaghetti tossed in an Adderall reduction sauce to kale salads, market veggies, and seitan? I mean, I’m all about eating healthy because it makes you happy and skinny and is, like, good for you and stuff. And I’ve definitely noticed lately that our bodies are changing. We can’t just binge eat on pad thai and expect our body to forget about it. It’s gotten to the point where it never forgets. That being said, can we stop pretending that the junk food never happened? Can we stop pretending that the fourth meals, the Sour Patch Kids, and pizza did not exist? I know you’ve entered a new phase in your eating life but, come on. Show some love for the things that are bad for you. Give it a quick kiss.

The delusion is what bothers me. People would like you to believe that eating a bowl of lettuce is comparable to a slice of red velvet cake. “Oh wow, I’m so hungover right now. This lettuce really hit the spot.” No, it didn’t! I want to scream at them (complete with waving my arms wildly in public) about their sordid past. I want to remind them of the food we used to embrace together. Fact: Food that will clog your arteries and kill you tastes the best. It’s one of life’s cruelest jokes and the primary reason why losing weight is so difficult. Saying no to the things that feel good in the moment but ultimately hurt us is a struggle in everyone’s life. Even though I’m happy to see my friends win the battle, I also secretly want to poison their brussel sprouts with some deep fried bread crumbs.

I just want things to be out in the open. I want people to say that eating heathy is sort of a bitch and, yes, I would like a bite of that cupcake. I would like Jennifer Aniston to admit that she has a good body because she’s extremely disciplined, works out constantly and rarely succumbs to any food cravings. Let’s just be real. Keeping fit is hard work so stop pretending that your prohibitive diet is delicious. It makes all of the people who aren’t as fit feel bad about themselves. “Why don’t I love broccoli as much as my friend does? Is something wrong with me?! Should I be craving brown rice right now instead of a burrito?!” Hell no. Eating healthy is all about eating the brown rice while imagining it to be a giant burrito. Don’t let anyone tell you different.

ew!

look what old navy is making now.

 and.... they're all gramatically incorrect.

this is a life improvement.

as of tomorrow, there will be a setting on facebook that disables photos of you being tagged without your pre-approval.

Profile Tag Review

Before: Photos you were tagged in would show up on your profile as soon as you were tagged. One of the top requests we've heard is for the ability to approve these tags before they show up on your profile.

Going Forward: You can choose to use the new tool to approve or reject any photo or post you are tagged in before it's visible to anyone else on your profile. (via)

and some other stuff.

another reason to watch the VMAs on sunday!

BEYONCE!!!!

thx starla!

oh, great.

KNOXVILLE - University of Tennessee head football coach Derek Dooley announced Wednesday that junior defensive back Janzen Jackson has been dismissed from the Tennessee football team.

"Our program has devoted a tremendous amount of energy, resources, support, and care in an effort to help Janzen manage his personal challenges," said Dooley. "I will always be there to help him as a person, but there comes a time when a player's actions preclude him from the privilege of playing for the University of Tennessee football team.

"Although I'm disappointed with this outcome, we will never compromise the long-term organizational values and goals we maintain here at Tennessee." (via)

eh, who needs him? (we probably did.)

UPDATE! failed drug test.

what is hank doing?

you tell me.

morning tearjerker

an outpouring of support for coach summitt has begun. she really is just the best, and its touching to see her recognized on a national level.

Pat Summitt has won eight national championships at Tennessee, but that is not her legacy. She has won more than 1,000 games and counting, but that is not her legacy. In the coming days, you will undoubtedly hear dozens of former and current players tell stories about how much Summitt meant to their lives, about the lessons she taught them and the things she made them learn about themselves. You hear that about the very best coaches.

But I don't think even that is her legacy.

Summitt has coached her women like they were men. She has done it for so long, and so well, that it now sounds politically incorrect even to say that. We now assume that women should be coached and pushed, not coddled. We assume they should be taught and critiqued and made to run gassers and hit the weight room. We assume they should play not just to play, but to achieve. We assume all of this largely because of Pat Summitt. (via)

bonus links:
new york times
sports illustrated
the tennessean

science!

c2e.

thx markie!

But wait, there's more!

I also got this belt, but I have to exchange it for another size so I won't have it for the season opener....

as if you needed a reason to watch the VMAs

HUNGER GAMES SNEAK PREVIEW!!

thx starla!

a letter from coach pat

August 23, 2011

Dear All–

Throughout my career, I have always made it a point that my life and my basketball program were an open book.

With that in mind, I have something I’d like to share with my Tennessee families—the university, boosters and fans of Lady Vol basketball.

Once last season concluded, I addressed some ongoing concerns regarding my health. After consulting with my local physicians, I decided to visit the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn.

Earlier this summer, the doctors at the Mayo Clinic diagnosed me with early onset dementia ("Alzheimer's Type") at the age of 59.

I plan to continue to be your coach. Obviously, I realize I may have some limitations with this condition since there will be some good days and some bad days.

For that reason I will be relying on my outstanding coaching staff like never before. We have always collaborated on every facet of Lady Vol Basketball; and now you will see Holly Warlick, Dean Lockwood and Mickie DeMoss taking on more responsibility as their duties will change significantly.

I love being your coach, and the privilege to go to work every day with our outstanding Lady Vol basketball student-athletes. I appreciate the complete support of UT Chancellor Dr. Jimmy Cheek and UT Athletics Director Joan Cronan to continue coaching at the University of Tennessee as long as the good Lord is willing.

I've been honest and shared my health concerns with you and now we’ll move forward to the business at hand…coaching a great group of Lady Vols. For the time being, I hope you will respect my privacy regarding this matter.

Thank you.

Go Lady Vols!

Pat Summitt

did you feel that?

earthquake! jealous?

pat head, no!

For such a strong figure, Pat Summitt was feeling almost helpless.

Months of erratic behavior had left Tennessee women’s basketball coach bewildered, scared and asking herself “What’s wrong with me?”

Summitt went to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., in May. She underwent a series of tests and received a stunning answer. The diagnosis was early onset dementia, Alzheimer’s type. (via)

thx erin.

ceeyute!

(via)

worlds collide

thx margaux.

#wtt

(via)